


A Speck Of Warmth

by The_Littlest_Raindrop



Series: Fullmetal Alchemist AU [3]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Colleagues to Friends, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hesitation, RC Wants To Fight Everyone, Romance, Will Eventually Be E-Rated, more tags to be added in future, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2020-02-23 19:52:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 49,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18708865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Littlest_Raindrop/pseuds/The_Littlest_Raindrop
Summary: After punching a fellow recruit during training, the powers that be had decided to ship you off to Briggs, wanting you to disappear. While the decision had been disappointing at first, you soon discover that the best of things can be found in the most unlikely of places.





	1. Frosty Reception

**Author's Note:**

> Hey,
> 
> So, for anyone who thinks they’re seeming double, I can explain; I originally posted this on a secondary account, but I’ve decided that was a stupid thing to do. 
> 
> My main reason for doing so was that I didn’t want anyone to think I’d abandoned their personal favourite ongoing stories of mine to write this, because that’s not the case; I’ve had bad writer’s block for a while now, and this just happens to be the thing that broke it.
> 
> With that said, I have plans to update all other stories this month if I can, so please keep your eyes open for that.
> 
> I’m sorry for the deception, but that’s my reasoning. Sorry if it’s not good enough, but there it is.
> 
> Anyway, if you’ve not already read this, and want to give it a shot, then I hope you enjoy :)

Amongst all new recruits for the Amestrian military, there’s an unspoken rule; avoid Fort Briggs at all cost.

Not that the place itself is bad, or has a bad reputation. In fact, out of everywhere, Fort Briggs technically has the best record; after all, there are no Drachman troupes in Amestris. The organisation and discipline up there is legendary, with the commander-in-chief earning herself a slew of nicknames, most famously that of Ice Queen; from what you’ve heard, the woman is as cold and unyielding as both the fort and its surrounding tundra. 

Briggs is also a popular choice amongst engineers new and old, boasting an enviable R&D section that’s always working on some secret project or another. The things that have left that workshop over the years have been a large contributor to Amestris’ military success, with no signs of production or ingenuity coming to a halt anytime soon.

Overall, there are much worse places to be. So why the stigma? Why wouldn’t soldiers want to go to Briggs?

The answer is simple; soldiers go to Briggs when the higher ups want them to disappear.

It’s a well-known fact that once you’re at Briggs, that’s it for you; no promotions, no reassignments, nothing. In a way, Briggs is like an elaborate prison work programme. The only ways out are death and mandatory retirement, but with the weather like it is, most people can kiss that last option goodbye. 

That’s what an older recruit had told you on your first day of training, and you’d kept that in mind constantly afterwards. 

Your training began not long after the war (if one can even call it that) with Ishval came to an end. A lot of the instructors were veterans, touched by their experience in one way or another. A lot of them were hard as a rock, with eyes just as dead. A handful of them had an unmistakable air of pride about them, as if the loss of life excited them. You tried to avoid them, but alas, your particular group was under the care of a particularly nasty bastard by the name of Humphries. Every time you saw him, your skin crawled, but you swallowed those feelings down, determined to do a good job, and get a decent assignment at the end of it.

Looking back, you suppose one out of two isn’t that bad.

Despite your training and performance being almost flawless, a few weeks before completing your training, you’d made a mistake that cost you everything you’d worked so hard for; you’d punched a fellow trainee. 

In your defence, he deserved it. Not as much as someone else did, but he did. Besides, he was a creep and a racist anyhow. Breaking his nose so badly that he decided to worm his way out of the military on a medical discharge probably did him and his would-have-been squad mates a favour. Shame it didn’t do you any favours in return; you’d not been surprised to learn shortly afterwards that your placement was a Briggs.

And so, here you are, staring up at the legendary fortress itself. You can feel the cold wind burrowing itself into you skin, but you try your best to ignore it; the last thing you want is a reputation of being weak.

A sentiment that seems to be shared by the woman before you; the great Major General Olivier Armstrong herself. You’re glad that you’re here as a recruit and not an enemy, for her presence alone has some of your fellow recruits trembling where they stand. You’d blame the cold, but from what you can see in your peripheral vision, their eyes tell a different story.

-t/s-

Settling in doesn’t take long. Everyone has a small amount of personal storage for the few belonging they’re allowed (mostly clothes; there’s no room for sentimental items here, unless you’re willing to decrease the number of spare clothes you have), and a bunk, used in rotation with one other person. Thankfully, the woman you’re rotating with seems to smell of oil and soap, which really isn’t that unpleasant. You only hope you don’t make the bed smell yourself…

With everything packed away, you’re given a tour of the fort. The man leading the tour is apparently known only as ‘Captain Buccaneer’, a man as large as he is eccentric. He spends half the tour trying to scare the living shit out of you and the others, from randomly revving up his automail arm at the end of sentences like a threat, to pushing one poor soul into the path of falling icicles. You make a mental note to yourself; don’t get on this man’s bad side. 

Still, he seems okay you suppose. Spending so much time here must be enough to drive anyone insane. At least he’s a step up from the man that’s been training you the last few years…

As the tour comes to an end, Buccaneer divides your group up into tasks. The engineers are, naturally, all sent to R&D to meet the team there. A handful of people are sent to clear icicles, and a further few are sent to assist a man called ‘Major Miles’.

Not you though.

After given everyone else a task, Buccaneer looks you dead in the eyes. ‘You, come with me.’ Your heart stops there and then. What have you done now? You’ve not said a word to anyone yet, and you’re already up shit creek. 

These next few years are going to be a nightmare.

-t/s-

You’re lead down a seemingly endless maze of corridors, making a mental note of the route. In a place as big as this, getting lost seems almost inevitable, but you’d like to avoid it if you can.

Finally, you stop outside a door, and Buccaneer lets himself inside without knocking. You follow him in anxiously, only to be greeted by the Major General staring up at you.

You hold her gaze for the longest time, too afraid to back down. She doesn’t say a word to you, and you know better than to talk first.

Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, she speaks. ‘You’re free to go, Captain. I’m sure you’ve other things to attend to.’ Her unspoken order is heeded immediately, with the man stopping only once to whisper something in your ear;

‘Good luck.’

With him gone, your heartbeat becomes erratic. Is there a reason she wants to see you? Did she catch you reminiscing during her speech?

Major General Armstrong stands, and leans forward so she can put her hands on the desk, maintaining eye contact the whole time. ‘Here in Briggs we only have one rule; survival of the fittest. Everyone here today is here because they are strong, because they have learnt to be unyielding and uncompromising. They follow my orders no matter what, never questioning my authority. I run what many think is an impossibly tight ship. Yet for some reason those in charge still think it’s appropriate to dump the recruits they dislike or find undesirable on me. Do I look like a babysitter for bratty recruits? Well? Do I?’ She asking for an answer, her voice becoming increasing scathing.

You swallow hard, trying not to let her break you. ‘No, sir.’ 

Armstrong snickers. ‘Kiss ass. Why are you here?’ You’re wondering how much you can get away with in terms of speech. Does she want an explanation, or your opinion?

Mentally preparing yourself for a whole heap of backlash, you answer. ‘Because I punched an asshole recruit in the face, so now the higher ups want me gone. That’s why I’m here, so that I’ll die off but it won’t affect graduation figures, sir.’ You really should have left out that asshole part, but it’s too late now; the woman before you looks furious now.

Armstrong’s teeth grit together, making her look like an angry wolf more than a woman. ‘You plan to die? Should I just throw you out of the window now then?’ 

Considering that you don’t think she can get much angrier, and knowing her respect for survival and strength, you say something that’s downright suicidal. 

‘If you want to kill me, you’ll have to fight me, sir.’ 

There’s a moment of tension so thick you can feel it, and you wonder if she’s planning to take you up on that offer.

Then, without warning, her barred teeth warp into a smirk. ‘Right answer.’ With that, she finally breaks eye contact, looking down at a file on her desk. ‘You did well in your training. I bet you thought you’d get an easy assignment out of it. It’s completely backwards, giving the best soldiers the easiest postings. You could have easily made it into Central forces, if you’d not lost it at the last minute. I don’t care why you decided to punch that recruit, and I don’t give a shit either. Just know that if you pull that crap at my fort, I have ways of making your life hell.’ You don’t doubt that for a second…

Still, as she seems to respond well to your attitude so far… ‘I had my reasons for doing what I did, sir. That reason is now half a country away. I’m not uncontrollable or undisciplined, but everyone has a breaking point. If I’m made to reach it again, I won’t lie to you and say that I won’t do it again. I will try my hardest not to decommission them though. You have my word on that.’ In truth, you’d do anything to avoid another incident like the last one…

The Major General nods. ‘I think you’ll do just fine here.’ A small clock on her desk starts making a noise, and she looks back at you. ‘I expect all my soldiers to earn their meals, so I have a challenge for you. If you can find your way to the mess hall, you get to eat. Assuming you don’t get lost, you’re with Miles for the rest of the day. Dismissed.’ She sits back down, not longer paying you any attention at all.

As you leave her office, you sigh in relief; it’s a good thing you made a note of your route. 

-t/s- 

By the time you make it to the mess hall, everyone is already eating. It’s going to be a pain finding somewhere to sit, and possibly trying to find food; they do have enough for even the tardy soldiers, right?

As you make your way over to the food, you momentarily lose track for your surroundings, a move that proves most unfortunate; you make contact with something solid, and feel the hard metal of a mess tray slide upwards, covering your poor unsuspecting victim in food.

Immediately, the apologies pour out. ‘I am so… um… you can have my rations instead! I’m so sorry, I lost myself in thought for a moment.’ A lapse that has cost the man in front of you dearly; The front of his uniform is completely covered in food, some kind of liquid speaking like mould at the front.

As you look up to apologise properly, you notice two things. The first is that the food you managed to unceremoniously splatter all over him has somehow made it to his face, his white sideburns and snow blindness goggles covered in food. And the second?

He’s gorgeous.

Well, maybe that’s the wrong word. Handsome perhaps? Yeah, that seems to fit the food-covered stranger better.

It’s clear that this man is not a recruit; you’d have remembered seeing someone like him in your group. A senior solider then. But if he’s here, he won’t be too far ahead in terms of rank, surely? Maybe you’re lucky, and he’s been here long enough to have seen way worse than this, or maybe this isn’t the first time a recruit has done this to him?

Yeah, right. You’ve made a complete fool of yourself. It’s just as well fraternising is illegal…

The solider is stern, but his voice is even. ‘You need to watch yourself, soldier. The next person you bump into could take you up on that offer, and food isn’t exactly plentiful here.’ He scoops a handful of food off of his uniform, splatting it onto the tray before handing it to you. ‘Clean this up for me. I need to change my clothes.’ With that, he walks away, and you can feel your cheeks heating up with embarrassment. Could you have made a worse impression with someone? At least you probably won’t be seeing much of him in the future…

After cleaning up the tray, you finally get the chance to eat.

-t/s-

When lunch is over, you meet up with the group you recognise as Miles’, and head off with them. You know a few of them from before, and they keep their distance from you; whether that’s because of you hitting that guy in the face or what happened at lunch, you’re not sure. 

As you make it to your location, you have to fight the urge to stop dead in your tracks, as you catch sight of a man with a dark complexion and white hair. This must be Major Miles then. He looks familiar…

It’s only when he turns around to greet your group that you realise why.

He’s the man you just spilt lunch on, albeit wearing fresh clothes.

As his voice rings out, it confirms your worst fears. ‘Hello again. For the benefit of the newest member of our group, my name is Major Miles. Now then, who would care to bring her up to speed?’ You try to listen to the other recruits talking, you really do. But you just can’t do it, not with your mind doing summersaults. How could you mess everything up so bad? So far you’ve been chewed out (though not actually murdered, which is a plus) by the Major General, and spilled food all up the Major, who you spent some moments physically admiring! Maybe you should go find Captain Buccaneer and kick him in the balls, complete this unholy trinity of fuck ups? 

Yep, there’s a reason people say to avoid Fort Briggs, alright. You just hope it doesn’t kill you.

At the very least, you hope you avoid killing off your career.


	2. Another Lecture Of Sorts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. Hope you like it ^.^

Even if Briggs is supposed to be hard, things could still be so much easier right now.

You’re sat in a room with people you barely know, being told about an enemy you’ve never met, by a man you spilt dinner down not an hour ago. Still, at least the Major isn’t petty enough to mention it in front of everyone; though to be honest, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone that didn’t see your little incident in the mess hall.

At least the actual job part of the day seems to be fine. Mostly, it’s just consisted of listening to Miles explain common Drachman military tactics, something that should be boring as hell. Hearing it from him though… well, he could make just about anything exciting…

Ah. Right. You’re going to have to stop yourself there. Crushing on a senior officer, the fort’s second-in-command no less, is so far into the realms of ‘bad idea’ that it would be more sensible to go outside and dance naked in the snow. At least then your shame would be over quickly; god only knows what would happen if anyone learned how to read minds right now.

Still, at least you’ll be done here soon, and you’ll probably have minimal contact with Miles in the future; he’s too busy with helping the Major General with the general running of Briggs to be down here helping the new blood all the time. Almost a shame, as he does seem to be a most capable leader. Ah, well. At least you don’t have a crush on Buccaneer… well, not that you’ve noticed, at least.

As Miles’ presentation comes to a close, he smirks, almost reminiscent of Armstrong’s own twisted lips. ‘If you have any reason to suspect that a Drachman spy has infiltrated Briggs, you’re to contact either myself, Buccaneer, or any other officer with appropriate seniority. You can even take it to the Major General, if you’re feeling brave.’ His comment earns him a few concerned chuckles. ‘Under no circumstances are you to approach them alone. You’re all a bit too green to stand a chance against a well-trained Drachman infiltrator. They’ll kill you the moment you step into their scope.’ Damn. If they’re that formidable, then what the Major General said earlier about sending shitty troops to do a hard job is totally true…

One of the other recruits moans loudly. ‘So these shitheads from Drachma could kill us without us even seeing them? Fuck, why the hell did I get this shitty assignment? If only the war in Ishval hadn’t ended so quickly. Then we could be over there, shooting up those bastards like fish in a barrel. At least the weather doesn’t suck…’ you swear you see a muscle twitch in Miles’ neck, but he doesn’t say a word. You however…

You stand up, folding your arms and shooting the recruit who just spoke up your best death glare. ‘What, afraid of a fair fight, are you? At least here both sides have a formidable army on their side. If you’re so afraid of being shot, why the fuck are you a solider?’ 

The trainee stands up in retaliation, his own anger rising. ‘At least that was a real war, not some fake pissing match with an enemy no one has seen for years!’

You try to keep yourself level, but you can feel ire rising up yourself. ‘A real war? Wake the fuck up, asshole. It was a slaughtering ground. The full might of Amestris and it’s alchemists against a handful of monks and some borrowed weapons. How can you tell me that’s a real war, a fair fight?’ 

The recruit smirks. ‘They were both armed. That makes it a fair fight.’

With that, you slam your fist at the table. ‘Alright then, I challenge you to a fight. I’ll have my pistol, and you can have a bread knife. After all, it’s fair if we’re both armed, right?’ It’s almost a shame you know that you can’t really fight him; the Major General would actively murder you if you did.

The solider begins to march over to you, fists balled at his sides, and you’re about to throw up a defensive stance when Miles himself stands between the two of you.

He addresses the other recruit now. ‘You don’t want to be here? That’s fine. Go beg for a transfer. There’s still plenty of places where you can see the guy shooting at you. Just don’t expect a glowing recommendation from me.’ He turns around to face you, and your anger quickly turns into shame; you’re up shit creek for sure. ‘Stay behind.’ Those two words are more than enough to tell you that yes, you are very much in trouble, and that this time, your punishment is going to involve far worse than wandering through a few corridors.

Miles returns to the front of the room, addressing the whole room this time. ‘Assignments will be posted on the board tomorrow. For now, you’re to report to Buccaneer. You’ll find him in the mess. Dismissed.’ Your fellow walk very slowly out of the room, almost as if they’re planning to dawdle so they can hear you getting chewed out; a look from Miles has them leaving pretty sharpish.

Once they’re gone, Miles takes his time closing the door, before walking back over to you. Maybe it’s the fact that you can’t see his eyes, but there’s something about Miles that makes him just as intimating as Armstrong…

You stare at the goggles that cover his eyes for the longest moment, in a staring match that rivals the one from earlier. This is already becoming a theme, and you’ve not even been here a full day! 

This time, you decide to break the silence, but only because it’s unsettling having a staring match where you can’t see your opponents eyes. ‘I’m still really sorry about lunch, sir. You must be starving.’ Technically, he never did punish you that. Is that what this is? Was he looking for a reason to make your punishment more severe?

To your surprise, Miles chuckles. ‘The last time I skipped a meal, I was out investigating the disappearance of a new soldier that went AWOL. I found what was left of him being eaten by a bear, and the soldier who came out to assist me vomited all down my uniform. Believe me, I’ll take a mess hall accident any day.’ Well, you didn’t throw up on him, at least. Though you’re not all that sure it makes the situation better…

You still breathe a sigh of relief. ‘I’m glad you’re not going to hold that against me, sir.’ 

Miles’ smile fades. ‘While I may be willing to forget that, I won’t be forgetting this anytime soon. To many, the words you spoke are treason. Questioning the actions of your fellow soldiers, condemning a war that saw many Amestrian lives lost… anyone else would have your head on a spike right about now.’ Damn it, he’s right. You weren’t thinking. Well, you were, but you should have kept your mouth shut.

As you begin to look downtrodden, Miles smiles softly. ‘Thankfully, I’m not the kind of officer willing to throw a subordinate to the wolves just for speaking her mind. Of course, that might be because we share a similar train of thought on this, but I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.’ Seriously? You’re off the hook? Just like that? What’s the catch?

You stare at Miles in confusion. ‘I’m sorry, sir, but I have to ask; if you’re not planning to discipline me, why keep me behind like this?’ You have a feeling you’re not going to like the answer. It’ll probably involve him doing something creepy, like planning to smell your hair or something…

Miles sighs. ‘Appearances. After all, you did challenge someone to a gunfight… I think. Interesting metaphor, by the way. I’ll have to remember it.’ 

You smile, any fear forgotten. ‘Thank you, sir.’

Miles’ smile doesn’t fade. ‘You’re welcome, solider. Now, head up over to Buc. If anyone asks, I’m terrifying, and not to be crossed under any circumstances. We clear?’ Well, if you weren’t already crushing on Miles, this is the nail in the coffin. How can someone who looks so terrifying be so… soft? It melts your heart a little, and makes you glad once again that you’ll be so far away from him at all times; you’ll just have to keep reminding yourself that he’s completely off the table.

Much to your own surprise, you smirk. ‘I’ll tell them you brought me to tears, sir.’ 

Miles shifts awkwardly. ‘Maybe don’t go that far. Fear is healthy, but terror gets people killed. Dismissed.’ With that, you walk away, heading off to find Buccaneer.

As you walk back to the mess hall, you try to calm down your racing heart. 

-POV-

As Miles begins to write up the rota, he can’t seem to wipe the smile off his face. While he’d rather not get caught grinning like an idiot, on this occasion, he truly can’t resist.

In all his years of being here, he’s never heard anyone condemn the War Of Extermination quite so openly and vehemently. People here keep their opinions about it to themselves for the most part, especially around him (well, those who know what’s under his goggles do, at least). It’s refreshing, actually hearing someone speak against it.

The fact that the women who did so is beautiful just makes it sweeter.

When her first registered the food against his chest, he’d been ready to get angry. He was going to tell them to scrub the floors, clean the tray, and give them sit ups. He might have even taken their rations if they’d been particularly disobedient. But one look into her eyes, and he stopped. He couldn’t think of anything, couldn’t say anything. His punishments died on his tongue. If finding someone with such outspoken opinions is a rarity, then finding someone with such enchanting eyes…

He shakes his head. He can’t. He refused to be the kind of officer who tries to seduce his subordinates. Besides, from what he’s heard, such a thing could earn him an instant nose job and a one-way ticket to early retirement. Not that he knows for sure; the reasons for the punch weren’t specified in the file. That, and it was a fellow trainee, not an officer, that was punched. Perhaps it was over an argument about the war? Part of him hopes so. At least if she’s not racist, he stands a chance…

No, he doesn’t. She’s a subordinate. He’s her commanding officer. Well, one of them. If he did anything, if they did anything, he’d be the one who took full responsibility. Truthfully, that’s fair enough, and if he thought she’d reciprocate, he might even be willing to risk it. After all, Armstrong isn’t quite so unreasonable as everyone thinks. If he swore to keep it discreet, and promised not to let it interfere, he’s certain no one here would report them. 

It’s a pointless thought, anyway. She’s completely out of his league. He’ll just have to keep his distance until this crush of his fades. Shouldn’t be too hard; he’s a busy man, after all.

Speaking of, it’s about time he actually did some work. He’s got three jobs to divide up; patrols, icicle removal, and cleaning. Miles’ smile become as wicked smirk as he schedules the solider who had so much to say about Ishval with a week of cleaning the latrines. While it’s the safest job, it’s by far the worst, especially with the various foods Miles knows the canteen will be serving; the smell after hundreds of grown men and women have shat out greens is legendary.

As for the woman who he is trying his best to forget, she would be best suited to patrols. While arguably the most dangerous job, she’s one of the most capable on paper. That, and he trusts her to follow his order of fetching a senior officer. Overall, it makes a lot of sense putting her there.

He can’t be playing favourites, after all.

As he begins to divide up the other tasks, the door opens, and in walks Major General Armstrong herself.

Miles looks up from his rota, and gives a weak salute when he realises who it is. ‘Major General. What brings you all the way down here?’ He knows he should be more formal, but they’ve known each other long enough to respect each other without being too uptight. At least in private; publicly, he still has to lick her ass.

Armstrong smirks. ‘Perhaps I miss having you in my office to bully.’ 

Miles doesn’t miss a beat. ‘So you thought you’d find some fresh meat to bully?’

The Major General chuckles. ‘Something like that. I already tried my legendary intimidation techniques on one earlier, but she proved a little too strong willed to burst out crying. Almost a shame, really. I feel like I’m losing my touch.’

Leaning back in his chair, Miles folds his arms. ‘You, lose your touch? Not a chance. You probably just found one of the few people in Briggs that understands the rules; survival of the fittest. After all, if you can’t hack being chewed out by your commanding officer, you definitely won’t survive getting chewed up by a bear.’ As Miles once found out all too graphically…

Lazily, Armstrong strolls over to Miles, taking a look at the half-finished rota. ‘Hm. Seems fair so far. What did this guy do to earn latrines for a week?’

Miles sighs. ‘He said some stupid shit about how we’re not fighting a real war up here, and how he wished Ishval was still an active conflict so he could ‘shoot those bastards like fish in a barrel’.’ 

For a split second, Armstrong’s eyebrows rise up, before falling straight back into place. ‘I’m surprised you throw him out the window for a comment like that. Please tell me you made him cry, at least. It would be a pity if neither of us found a weak link on day one.’ While she may sound sadistic, Miles knows what this is about; any weakness could put the whole fort at risk. Better to find the weak now before they get people killed.

Miles huffs. ‘I didn’t get the chance. Someone else beat me to it. Almost started a fight in the process.’ Somehow, Miles doesn’t think that one solider will stay on for much longer; if he can even get out, that is.

Armstrong’s face splits into an even wider smirk. ‘Let me guess; the woman who punched a fellow squad mate?’

Miles nods. ‘She’s fiery, you have to admit that. She’s the kind of solider that could thrive here. Amestris lost a fine potential officer when they banished her up here.’ And a gorgeous one at that, Miles neglects to add.

For a moment, Armstrong silently looks over Miles, the cogs in her brain visibly turning. When she finally talks, it’s not something Miles expects to hear. ‘I want her taken off patrols. If you really thinks she’s officer material, then I want you to take her under your wing. They were fools to send such potential here, but their loss shall be out gain. Understood?’ What?! So much for keeping his distance! This is going to end so poorly…

Still, Miles nods. ‘Consider it done.’ It’s not like he has a choice; no one refuses Olivier Mira Armstrong and lives to tell the tale.

With a half laugh, Armstrong struts away, turning back to Miles when she reaches the door. ‘Keep that one solider on latrine duty indefinitely. I want to see what happens.’ She leaves almost silently, and once again, Miles is left alone with his rota.

As he looks down at the name of the solider he’s been ordered to develop, who he himself has developed a crush on, he an only think one thing, something he mutters to himself as he removes her name from his rota;

‘As if my life wasn’t complicated enough.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As this story is still in progress, feel free to tell me if there’s anything you’d like to see moving forwards; I’m always willing to listen ^.^
> 
> Next chapter is already in progress. Thank you for reading :)


	3. Another Day, A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,
> 
> Bit later than planned, but here it is. Hope you enjoy ^.^

Day two at Briggs, and you’re hoping it won’t be nearly as bad as the first. 

Yesterday… well, it could have been better. Listening from a lecture from one superior officer is one thing, but getting two separate lectures from two separate officers is a disaster! Though in fairness, what Major Miles had to say wasn’t exactly a lecture; if anything, it felt as if he was praising you in a roundabout way. Or maybe that’s just what you want to think, given your crush? Either way, you’d take another ‘lecture’ from Miles over one from Armstrong any day; at least Miles didn’t threaten to throw you out of a window.

All around you, people are beginning to dress hastily, vacating the area so the next load of people can come in. You’re lucky in a way to be working in daylight; though keep up with your current actions, and you might find yourself switched to nights as a punishment.

As you make your way down to the mess hall (amazing that they give you anything for breakfast at all, given the food shortage), you catch sight of the loudmouth from yesterday. He’s staring at you, contempt in his eyes. In an attempt to throw him off-guard, you smile at him, but he only takes that as an invitation to approach you, a wicked grin on his face.

His voice is far more smug than it should be. ‘You’re so in for it today. I bet Miles has you removing icicles with your bare hands or something. Stupid bitch, you really think a senior officer would take your side in an argument over Ishval? Freak. If you love the Ishvalans so much, why don’t you fuck off to the slums and marry one?’ Not on day two… you can’t punch someone on day two…

You take a deep breath, and smile politely. ‘At least I have options. I suppose you do too, but I’m really not sure that your right hand would make for a suitable partner. Perhaps you could draw a face on your pillow? At least that way, your new wife would have the chance to smother you in your sleep, like I’ll do if you don’t shut up.’ For a moment, you see panic flash in his eyes, but it’s quickly replaced by ire.

In a flash, he grabs your arm, gripping it tightly. ‘You know, the others warned me about you. Told me what you did back at training. I’m telling you now that if you think you can pull the same shit here, you’re dead wrong. After all, this is Briggs, and I’m sure the people here can sniff out a whore just as easily as they can sniff out weakness.’ You’re half concerned he’ll break your arm, but there’s no way you’re going to let him talk to you like that!

Just as quickly as he’d grabbed you, you manage to twist your arm out of his grasp, and drive your knee straight into his solar plexus. 

As his cradles his stomach in agony, you lean down to whisper to him. ‘If they can smell weakness here, I’m surprised they’ve not sent you out into the snow yet, because you must reek of it. 

‘I don’t give a flying fuck what you’ve heard about me. All you really need to know is that if you call me a whore again, next time I’ll aim lower. How hard do you think I’d have to knee your groin to burst your testicles? Would you like to find out?’ As you look into his eyes, he does something rather unexpected; he bursts into tears, and practically sprints to the mess, bumping into several people on the way. 

As you take a moment to smile to yourself for what you hope is permanently discouraging that asshole to speak in front of you ever again, your heart stops as you feel a cold lump of metal come to rest on your shoulder.

Turning around slowly, your worst fears are revealed; it’s Captain Buccaneer, and he must have heard everything.

You’re about to come up with your excuses, but he beats you to it, his gaze at least as terrifying as Miles or Armstrong. ‘So, it seems that old habits really do die hard. The Ice Queen is going to be so mad at you…’ oh fuck, oh fuck, you’re dead, you’re dead, she’s going to kill you. ‘… she wanted to be the first one to bring a newbie to tears! Ugh, can’t believe you’re the one that did it. I’m almost impressed. Or I would be, if you hadn’t almost decommissioned our new latrine boy. You’d better come with me…’ Wait, so are you in trouble or no? Also, what does he mean ‘latrine boy’? And where is he taking you?!

As you begin to walk down a familiar corridor, you think you know; straight back to Armstrong’s office.

Fuck.

-t/s-

To your surprise, Buccaneer doesn’t spend the whole journey silent; as you make your way through Briggs, he turns to you, striking up a conversation. ‘So, you like Ishvalans, then?’ So he was definitely listening to your conversation then? Great…

You sigh, choosing your words carefully. ‘No more than I like any other race. I just can’t stand it when people make it sound like the so-called War Of Extermination was anything less than genocide, or when they try to glorify it. I know I’m a solider, and conflict is the entire point of this job, but to me, what happened in Ishval doesn’t sit right. It wasn’t a real war, and in my opinion, people just use that word to justify murder. After all, what did we gain? Land. And at the cost of what? Almost the entirety of a race. Somehow, that just doesn’t seem worth it to me.’ 

Buccaneer lets out a hollow laugh. ‘That’s the summary of almost every war in history. In my experience, people only ever go to war over one of three things; religion, resources, or tyranny. We occupied Ishval to gain land, a resource. Some people used their ‘heathen religion’ as a justification for this. The day that soldier shot the Ishval child, they saw us as tyrants. I think some people think that they’re to blame for the war, because while we may have occupied them, up until that point, all we were was a military presence. They say that it was Ishval that instigated the violence. But they’re wrong. We lit the match, and we poured fuel on it. All Ishval wanted to do was put out the flames…’ he stops walking, and turns to you, looking severe. ‘At least you don’t seem the type to buy into all the propaganda bullshit. Can see why Armstrong has taken a shine to you. You’ve got your head screwed on tight, just like me!’ He claps you on the back with his metal arm, and it’s all you can do to keep from falling over.

As you regain composure, you smile nervously at him. ‘Thank you, sir, but I thought you said that me making that guy cry would make her mad?’

Buccaneer laughs heartily. ‘Armstrong’s always mad! Besides, whatever you said yesterday has somehow gotten you on her good side, so this’ll probably end up earning you brownie points instead!’ He moves to clap you on the back this time, but you’re ready for it, and manage to stand firm this time.

Trying to ignore the pain in your back, you ask him a question. ‘What about Major Miles?’ 

Buccaneer turns to you, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively. ‘What about him?’ Oh come on! There’s no way he can tell you’ve got a crush from a single question.

A blush creeps along your cheeks, and you hope he doesn’t notice. ‘He and I didn’t exactly get off on the right foot yesterday; I spilt his dinner all down his front, and almost started a fight in front of him.’ 

Like every other officer here, Buccaneer seems to have mastered the smirk. ‘Oh, I’ve heard all about that. If you’d ruined my meal, I’d have hung you out to dry, so count yourself lucky he’s more… patience than any other officer here. As for that argument, he’s barely said a word about it, which would make it seem like it doesn’t phase him; but I know him far better than that. If he’s not mentioned it, it’s because he’s probably more impressed than he should be.’ What does that mean? Why so cryptic?

You’re about to ask him, but he stops dead in front of a door, albeit not the one you were expecting; this isn’t Armstrong’s office.

As Buccaneer opens the door, you get the biggest surprise of the day; sat behind a desk, with two trays of food in front of him, is Miles.

Why must fate be so cruel?

-t/s-

Buccaneer makes a hasty retreat after dropping you off, barely uttering a word to Miles; though if you didn’t know better, you could have sworn he winked before he left.

With a sigh, Miles gestures to the empty chair in front of you, and you sit without hesitation. 

No sooner has your ass hit the chair than Miles finally talks. ‘I imagine you want to know what you’re doing here?’ 

Taking in the sight of the food before you, you manage a nervous grin. ‘You’re planning to tip breakfast on me as a form of payback?’ He raises an eyebrow, and you catch your mistake. ‘Sir. You’re planning payback, sir?’ Damn it, now you’re forgetting formalities! It’s about the only thing distancing you right now; if you stretched your leg a little, you could easily brush it against one of his…

Miles chuckles. ‘I won’t deny that it’s tempting, but I’m far too hungry for that. Help yourself.’ He pushes a tray towards you; blueberry granola and some kind of juice. Pretty standard fare, really.

As you go to take the first spoonful, Miles beats you to it, scraping up a spoonful of your breakfast and sticking it into his mouth, all while maintaining eye contact. 

As you stare at him dumbfounded, he reaches for another mouthful. All you can do is stare while he eats that second mouthful too, a challenge in his eyes.

Is it bad that you’d very much like to reach over and kiss him now, under the pretence of getting it back?

When he comes in for the third, you decide to do something petty. You grab the drink from his tray, and begin to down it as quickly as you can, a few droplets spilling down your uniform in your haste.

The moment you put the glass down, you realise you’ve probably fucked up bad. 

Instead of reprimanding you, Miles puts the spoon down, and swaps the trays over, leaving you with the untouched granola and the empty glass.

As you stare dumbfounded at the trays, Miles’ expression becomes severe. ‘The first thing you need to learn is control. You could have stopped me from taking your food, but you chose to retaliate instead. These are two different things. A direct action requires a direct response. Remember that.

‘The second thing you need to know is when it’s appropriate to speak out. If I’d ordered you to spend an hour doing press ups as punishment yesterday, I would expect you to do it without question. I don’t however expect you to let me steal food from under your nose. Authority isn’t all about the person on top having absolute power; true authority comes from those underneath wanting to follow the one with the power. If no one here wanted to follow Armstrong, couldn’t tolerate her almost ruthless attitude, Briggs would collapse. She has respect. Do you respect me?’ These are rather out of the blue questions, especially the last one!

You consider Miles for a moment, trying to size him up. Why ask? Is he wanting to see if you’ll back down and kiss his ass? Granted, you like to do things similar to that in a literal way, but still…

Just as you did with Armstrong, you answer honestly. ‘I haven’t known you long enough to answer that, sir. Though from the limited interaction we’ve shared, I respect your position at least.’ 

Miles leans forward, a glint in his eyes. ‘What If I beat respect into you?’ God, that shouldn’t sound that hot but it totally does. Oh, you’d love him to demand respect as he smacked his hand straight onto your ass…

You mimic his actions, your face dangerously close to his. ‘Physically assaulting someone underneath your direct command is an abuse of power. You won’t beat me into submission or respect, sir; if you want either of those things, you’ll have to earn them.’ You regret your choice of words quickly, remembering that submission wasn’t a thing he mentioned; your mind must still be preoccupied with thoughts of him disciplining you.

Behind the dark tint of his glasses, you swear you can see a spark in Miles’ eyes. ‘I’m pretty sure that it’s the subordinate who has to gain the respect of their superior officer, but I’ll let it slide just this once. As for submission, I think you’re fine just as you are. As long as you follow orders, I don’t see a problem with your feisty side. Just don’t attack anyone, alright?’ Ah, well…

Slightly nervous now, you lean back, trying to resist the urge to break eye contact. ‘It’s a bit too late for that, sir.’ At least you didn’t break the person you hit this time… yet…

At your statement, Miles raises his eyebrows. ‘Seriously? Just how many enemies have you made already?’

You shrug. ‘Just the one, sir. I think.’ 

Miles’ fists clench for a moment, before he releases them. ‘I see. Same guy as yesterday, then? The one who had all the opinions on Ishval?’ An curious way to remember the man in question, but not an inaccurate one.

You nod. ‘Yes, sir.’

Miles hums. ‘Interesting. As much as I don’t condone violence amongst our own ranks, I have to ask; did you get in a good hit?’ 

It’s your turn to give him raised eyebrows. ‘A knee to his gut, sir. Sent him off in tears. No one calls me a whore and gets off unpunished.’ Once again, you’ve said something you really, really shouldn’t have.

Miles just chuckles. ‘I’ll keep that in mind. How’d he get from Ishval to that anyway?’ You’re about to answer him, when something occurs to you… 

Shifting slightly, you speak your mind. ‘Excuse my answering a question with a question, sir, but what am I doing here, other than having my breakfast stolen and then swapped?’ A breakfast which is now looking painfully inviting, even with a man you’d love to spend hours staring at right in front of you.

Miles coughs. ‘If you want me to piss off with my questions, just say so. You and I will be spending a lot of time together over the coming months, so I’d appreciate you being honest with me.’ 

You shake your head furiously, blushing intensely. ‘No, I-I didn’t mean it like that! It just occurred to me I don’t know why I was called here! I’ll answer your questions all you want me to, I promise!’ Why are you so flustered? Is it because he seems disappointed? Or are you embarrassed, because truthfully, you’d rather Miles didn’t know about the incident in training camp?

To your surprise, Miles shakes his head and smiles. ‘Got you good, didn’t I? Relax, I’m not going to pry into your life unless I feel I need to, or you want to talk about it. As for why you’re here, you have yesterday to thank for that. The Major General sees potential in you, so she’s asked me to take you under my wing. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about life up here. I’ll drill you hard, and it’ll mean a lot more training, but do well and there’s plenty of perks we can throw your way. What do you think? Up for the challenge?’ Normally, you’d be well up for the challenge, but your mind has turned into a stuck record, looping the phrase ‘I’ll drill you hard’ over and over again. Will one of the perks include a degree of privacy? You might have to store that phrase away for later use if it does…

Mind coming back to reality, you nod, glad that you’re already blushing vividly enough that he can’t possibly know how worked up you feel. ‘I’m always up for a challenge, sir. Consider me your eager and willing pupil.’ Real emphasis on both the ‘eager’ and ‘willing’ parts!

Seemingly content with your answer, Miles picks up his spoon again, this time aiming for the tray in front of him. ‘Eat up, trainee; you and I have a lot of work to do.’ For the first time in fuck knows how long, the thought of work actually excites you!

As you finally eat breakfast, you find yourself eager to discover what Miles has in store for you. One thing is clear no matter what though;

You need to find a way to tame your thirst before you try to quench it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? I’m still trying to figure it out in my head a bit, but I think I know where this is going. The big debate in my mind is how long to drag out the sexual tension that is slowly about to rise…
> 
> Anyhow, next chapter will probably be a time skip of an unspecified length. Until then, thanks for reading ^.^


	4. Breakfast Banter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey…
> 
> … and sorry for the delay! Hope you enjoy it ^.^

Although you’ve only been at Briggs a month now, it feels like you’ve been here for years.

While your first two days had proven to be eventful indeed, the rest of the month settled into an easy rhythm. You wake up, take a moment to wash your face and teeth, dress, and head straight to the mess. You usually eat breakfast alone, the rest of the recruits reluctant to join you. You’re sure it’s got something to do with latrine boy, or Williams as you’d found out. From what you can tell, the entitled little shit comes from an entire family of soldiers, and only ended up posted here because his scores were so damn low no one else wanted him! That’s what Miles told you, at least; you’d both had a chuckle over that.

At least Williams has had the good sense to avoid you too, though you do wonder if he’s going to start spreading rumours about you. After it, it seems like he’s knows why you’re here, so if he wanted to, he could tell the whole damn Fort… that’s something you’d like to avoid.

If for no other reason, you’d rather the three highest ranking officers never find out about your past.

You’re not sure if it’s working with Miles that has granted you the privilege, but after the first week, all three of them seem… friendlier. To you, at least; Buccaneer managed to make someone literally piss with fear one day, sneaking up on the poor soldier with his auto mail arm revved and dangerously close. 

The first person you’d noticed it with was Armstrong herself of all people though. Given that you have to stick to Miles like glue now, you’ve spend a lot of time in her office with him. The very first thing she said when you both walked in is while she’s to always be addressed as ‘sir’, she doesn’t care what else comes out of your mouth. You’re free to say what you like, so long as you pay her the proper respect; you’d tested that almost instantly, loudly exclaiming ‘FUCK’ when you knocked a stack of Miles’ papers over. True to her words, she only smirked at your display of clumsiness.

Then there’s Buccaneer, or Buc, as he’s told you you’re allow to address him as such. He’s really a nice guy past all the crazy. Despite being of a higher rank, he treats you as an equal, something you didn’t expect at first. Naturally, you still understand that he is in fact above you in rank, so you still obey him on the rare occasion he’s the one giving you orders. He seems to have it out for Williams too; he’s been leaving the latrine in a frankly horrifying state, if what he’s told you is true. You didn’t think it was possible to get piss in so many places, but you were so wrong…

Finally, there’s Miles, the man you’re currently walking over to, empty tray discarded. He’s… well, you’re still hopelessly crushing on the man. You almost wish he was a complete bastard, just to put you off; nothing could be further from the truth. While it’s true that he has a streak of ruthless efficiency about him, you wouldn’t call him cruel, or scary, or tyrannical. He really is as soft as your first impressions indicated. He’s… not what you’re used to seeing in a commanding officer. He’s actually patient with you for one thing, not automatically expecting you to know things after only being told once. On the admittedly rare (if you do say so yourself) occasions where he has to repeat himself or further explain something, he never sighs or rolls his eyes, and he certainly never raises his voice. The most you’ve ever gotten is a smirk or a wry comment about being distracted. It’s amazing, and he’d be the perfect commanding officer; if only he didn’t drive you wild in the process.

Speaking of, you can feel your heart rate rise as you see him, finishing off his own meal next to Buc. While the officer’s table has enough room for six, they’re the only two that use it; The Major General takes her meals to go. Miles has invited you to sit with them on more than one occasion, but it doesn’t feel right somehow, given that you’ve only been here a month, and are amongst the lowest in rank here.

The two men are deep in conversation, and you happen to catch the tail end of Buc’s words. ‘… know so badly, just ask. I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.’ You’re beginning to wish you’d heard the start of that sentence, because your curiosity is running wild.

Miles sighs. ‘Yeah, right. Knowing my luck, it’ll be…’ He looks up, and sees you stood there. ‘Good morning. Breakfast over?’ Damn it, it was getting interesting too!

You smirk, a gesture you’ve perfected after spending so much time with two people who wear one almost constantly. ‘I don’t have a tray, sir. If it’s not over, then I guess I’m stealing yours.’ You move to pick a piece of dried fruit from his tray, but he gently slaps your hand with his spoon.

Now it’s his turn to smirk. ‘Not a chance, recruit. Maybe if you came to sit with us I’d consider it.’ He’s now trying to bribe you up here? Damn, is he actively trying to torment you now?

Buc grins. ‘I don’t see why you don’t to be honest. It makes perfect sense to me. It beats sitting alone, at least. Not like you’re going to make yourself more unpopular. You punched everyone in the gut or what?’ So he’s noticed? You’re surprised. You wouldn’t have had him down as someone who monitors individuals like that; then again, you are Miles’ shadow at the moment…

You shrug. ‘Beats me. If I had to guess, Williams has been spreading shit about me in some kind of petty revenge plot. Points for effort, but it’s pretty pathetic. I think he’s still mad at me for not being a racist or something.’

Miles gasps in faux shock. ‘You’re not? Well, that changes things then. I’m not sure if we want you here, do we Buc?’ Even though you know he’s kidding, you’d be lying if you said that hearing those words doesn’t make your gut clench uncomfortably…

For the first time ever, Buc pulls a deadly serious face. ‘I’m afraid not. I can’t allow a woman who’s unwilling to beat the living shit out of an Ishvalan for no reason to sit with us.’ It’s funny, hearing that from him; Buc’s the kind of man who’d beat the shit out of anyone, but never without good reason.

You try to look solemn. ‘I see. What if I promise to beat the living shit out of the next Drachman solider who breaks into Briggs?’ If that ever actually happens; it’s been so far so good on that front in recent memory. 

Miles hums. ‘Good enough. Looks like you’ll be sitting with us from now on, then.’ Did they… were you just tricked into this?! 

With an exaggerated sigh, you sit down opposite the two men. ‘Alright fine, you win, sir. You’re taking the blame if Armstrong tries to skin me alive though.’ Something you could totally see her doing, under the right circumstances…

Miles chuckles. ‘I’m sure I’ll be able to protect you from the big, scary Major General. Not that I need to anyway; she likes you well enough.’ You scoff immediately; you’d say it’s more like she tolerates you.

Buc is back to his jovial, slightly twisted self now. ‘I’d say more than well enough. In fact, I daresay you’d be in with a shot there, if dominating blondes with a penchant for pure fury are your thing.’ Is he insinuating what you think he’s insinuating?! That you and Armstrong…? 

Your eyes almost bulge out of their sockets. ‘She’d eat me alive, I’m sure!’ 

Buc winks. ‘That’s the idea.’ Your face suddenly begins to feel very hot, and you’d like nothing more than to disappear right now.

Thankfully, Miles steps in. ‘That’s enough of that, Buc. You’re going to kill the poor woman. Besides which, you know fraternisation is out of the question, not matter who it’s with.’ Another set of words that twists at your gut. This really hasn’t been your morning…

Buc seems to ease off, but a glint if mischief remains in his eyes. ‘Yeah, you’re right. Still, when has that ever stopped anyone?’ The way he’s looking at Miles, it’s almost like an accusation. Is that what they were discussing a moment ago?

You make an attempt at diffusing the situation. ‘It’s all well and good talking about it, but the truth is, I’m not all that into women if I’m honest. Especially not ‘dominating blonds with a penchant for pure fury’. I prefer…’ You’re about to use words that apply to Miles, but you stop yourself. ‘… men. I like men.’ It’s a stupid way to end the sentence, but what else can you say? If you go into descriptions, you’ll almost certainly describe Miles, and that’s something you’d very much like to avoid doing, especially in front of the one man you know would torment you over it for the rest of your natural life… Buc.

His mischief still present, Buc nudges Miles. ‘You hear that, Miles? The woman likes men. All men, apparently.’ Oh great, trust him to twist it and make you sound like a total whore or something!

Miles rolls his eyes. ‘Buc, seriously now, stop. She’s allowed to keep her preferences to herself.’ It’s funny in its way, that the man you’re so attracted to is the one trying not to have your preferences not brought into light. You wonder if he’d be so reluctant if he knew what you’d say…

Despite being berated a second time, Buc is relentless, though now he’s decided to switch targets. ‘Alright, what about your preferences, Major? Let me guess. You like them feisty, with a pretty face and a body to match? Bonus points if they’re not prejudice as shit? Though I suppose that’s a prerequisite, given you’re I-‘

Miles stands suddenly. ‘I’ve heard enough. It’s time we get going.’ Aww, but it’s getting interesting now! You’d love to know what kind of women he likes, just so you can see how impossibly far outside of that criteria you fall! If he even likes women. Oh damn, could Miles be gay, and that’s why he’s so reluctant to stay longer? Great, so you’re not only crushing on a superior, but a gay one, who’s probably deep in the closet dude to the military’s less-than-perfect record with such things. Poor Miles, no wonder he hates prejudice so much!

Naturally, you stand and follow him, walking over to ditch his tray. Most people have left by now, so you think it pretty safe to lean forward and whisper to Miles. ‘Sir, just ignore him. It’s okay if you’re not into women. It doesn’t change who you are, not in the slightest.’ Miles’ hands freeze, his tray just above the rack.

You didn’t think such a thing possible of a man so capable of reigning in his emotions, but you’re certain you can see a blush form on Miles’ cheeks. ‘That- I’m not gay, recruit, though I appreciate the token platitudes. I’ve just had my fill of Buc’s crap this morning. He gets like this when he’s not had leave for a while. Drives me up the fucking wall…’ You hate to say it, but your heart starts cheering for once. Not gay… so you have that going for you, at least!

You let out a nervous laugh, trying to hide your internal victory shout. ‘That’s alright, sir. It’s none of my business, anyhow. I just wanted you to know… well, I suppose you have my respect to a degree now.’ Why are you like this? Why say that, of all things? 

Miles seems a little taken aback. ‘I wasn’t aware I’d done anything to earn it. Unless you think enduring Buc is worth respect. Though I hate to break it to you, but as you’re having your meals with us from now on, you’re going to have to get used to it.’ Ah. Yeah, you’d already forgotten that…

Resigned to your fate, you sigh. ‘That’s true. He does know that I broke a guy’s nose back in training, right?’ Naturally, you’re joking in this instance; at least everything that comes out of Buc’s mouth isn’t meant seriously. Not like… well, not like that guy you punched.

Apparently done with the conversation, Miles gestures to the door. ‘Time for us to get to work I think. Hope you’re ready for another hard day.’ In truth, it’s not nearly so hard as it should be; while it can be mentally taxing at times, it’s nothing compared to what the others in the Fort have to do.

With a smile, you comply, looking forward to another day under Miles’ guidance.

-POV-

Miles is going to punch Buc right in the balls one day. Of all the people he could have confided in about his conflicted feelings…

Of course, it’s not like he had much choice. Buc just came up to his one day, shit-eating grin spread right across his face, and blurred out ‘so, got the hots for the new recruit, huh?’ Miles had of course been quick to deny it, but Buc’s like a dog with a bone; he’ll just keep growling and snarling until you let him have the damn thing.

So now every time she’s even in the same room as him, Buc has to bring up his feelings. As if he wasn’t already fighting hard to contain his lust.

Lust is, in Miles’ mind, the important word, because really, what else can it be? He’s never had many chances to speak to her about life outside of work, so he really knows precious little about her. What he does know is that she’s feisty, with a pretty face, and a body to mat-

Ohhh, fuck you, Buc. Miles really might have to knock some sense into him.

If she wanted to, she could easily pick apart Buc’s words, and figure out his own attraction to her! He should have stopped Buc right away! Why did he wait until he was about to spill the beans on his best-kept secret? 

That’s the worst thing about this for Miles. For every reason he has to think she might be tempted to reciprocate if he made a move (and to be honest, that’s a massive ‘if’ at this point), there’s a reason not to. 

First, and most obviously, there’s chain of command. He doesn’t want her to feel obligated to accept his feelings just because he outranks her. He refuses to be the kind of disgusting human being who’s do such a thing. Counteracting that of course is the idea that she might actually want him back, which would mean he wouldn’t technically be abusing anything; it might look dodgy on paper, but in reality, it’ll be fine.

Even if he can get past that hurdle, there’s his gender. Sure, she says she’s into men, but that could be a cover up. Besides, after earlier, she’s probably still convinced he’s gay, too; another reason for him to punch Buc.

Even if those two hurdles were overcome, there’s race to consider. Sure, she’s not racist, but there’s a difference between supporting Ishvalans and being involved with one. Could she handle the stigma that comes with? Even if Miles is accepted for who he is here, he knows not everywhere is as understanding; can she cope with that life? 

If by some miracle she can see past them, that still ultimately means nothing. She could hate who he is as a person. He could potentially hate her (though if what he’s seen so far is any indication, that’s not likely). 

The one finally issue, the thing that Miles himself is finding impossible to factor into the situation, is the reason she hit someone back at training. He’d asked Buc about it earlier, but he has no idea either. He suggested just asking her, but Miles can’t bring himself to do so; in truth, he’s scared of the answer.

Despite all his doubts, and all the reasons he can think of to stay silent, and contain his feelings, in reality, he knows that none of that is insurmountable. He’s a solider if Briggs; he faces worse odds with higher risks on a regular basis. Even if he told her how he felt, and she rejected it, the consequences really wouldn’t be that dire. The very worst outcome would be her telling Armstrong that he’s being inappropriate, in which case Miles would fully admit his mistake. He’d get a slap on the wrist, and a threat to stay away from her unless he wants further punishment, but other than that, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Better than death, at least.

However, he can’t take the risk with the unknown factor still in play. If she’d punched that trainee for making a racist remark, he’d take a chance. That shouldn’t do anything to impact his chances, or to hurt her feelings unnecessarily. If it’s something else though…

He thinks back. The two times she’s gotten into an argument with Williams, there’s been two separate issues; the first was race, and the second… he’d called her whore, hadn’t he? Maybe that’s the issue. Did she… has she already been involved in fraternisation? That might explain why she was so twitchy about that comment; other than the fact it was Williams who said it. So what, she’s already had a commanding officer who’s taken a shine to her? Miles isn’t sure how to feel about that in all honesty. 

If that’s the case, then Miles knows he can’t do it. He can’t put her through the burden of having to deal with another officer’s unwanted attention. Although, if the attention of the other officer was wanted… she still has feelings for them? Is that why she was reluctant to talk about preferences earlier? She doesn’t want him to know so he won’t figure out which member of military high command her heart is yearning for? The thought hurts him more than it should; of course a woman like her already has someone. Why hadn’t he considered that before?

Of course, this is all pure speculation; it could just be racism, as he originally expected. No need to lose all hope right here and now.

Miles is so distracted by his thoughts that he walks straight past his office, only to be stopped by a gentle yet certain hand grabbing his wrist.

‘Sir? Your office is right here. Or do you plan on dragging me around dark corridors again?’ She smirks, and Miles would give anything in the world to be able to cover those soft-looking lips with his own.

Alas, some things are better left unsaid and undone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it was worth waiting for. I’m planning to develop the relationship between the two would-be lovers properly over the coming chapters (and introduce some backstory, maybe even a few hints regarding ‘that punch’), so there’s that to look forward to ^.^
> 
> Thank you for reading ^.^


	5. An Informal Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,
> 
> You’ll notice I changed the rating. Things are going to start getting more graphic now, so I just want to cover my ass. Hope you understand ^.^
> 
> Right, here we go!

Another month passes in the blink of an eye, and while your routine hasn’t changed, the atmosphere in the fort couldn’t be more different.

It started two weeks ago, when a rumour started circulating around the fort; someone had apparently seen a member of staff they didn’t recognise, lurking in the winding corridors of Briggs. Instead of reporting it to Armstrong, they’d told some random soldier, who told two more. The news was halfway through the fort when it finally reached Armstrong’s ears; suffice it to say, she came down on everyone with all the fury of a demon.

While the source of said rumour has still yet to come forth, any and all potential threats are considered high priority in Briggs; so for the last two weeks, you and Miles have been systematically patrolling Briggs’ halls, looking for signs of an intruder. While it’s yet to bare fruit fit you two, or the other patrol groups (scanning Briggs is hardly a two-man job), Armstrong is still insistent, stating that until these rumours are found false, or until a spy is discovered, her fort is still very much in danger. It’s all been a bit of a nightmare. 

You have to admit though; it’s actually been wonderful spending so much time alone with Miles.

Patrolling the halls is the most boring job imaginable, but Miles has somehow managed to make it palatable. Sure, you’d rather be doing things that don’t feel like a complete waste of time, but at least this hasn’t been a totally pointless thing. You’ve learnt so much about him! 

…Nothing truly important of course, but a few small things. How long he’s working under Armstrong, how he first met Buc… even a full account of the time that recruit threw up on him (not your favourite story, but it’s still nice to know more about him). In turn, you’ve given him a few brief accounts of things, though nothing involving the incident or your family; those are two things you’d like to bury away pretty quickly. Though maybe it would be good to confide in him, before he finds out for himself…

As well as the rumour about the intruder, you know for a fact that there’s several rumours circulating about you. You’ve heard everything so far, from rumours of you being in an organised crime syndicate to rumours of you being Fuhrer Bradley’s mistress! While most are ridiculous, you’ve heard snippets of truth in amongst the bullshit; enough to rattle you completely. Everyone is going to know the truth soon enough, and any respect that you have from the three superior officers is going to go down the drain. You’ll have to beg for a transfer, or try to get out of the military. The thought of doing either upsets you; this is your job, and while you’ve spent less than a quarter of a year here, it feels like home already. You’d hate to give up everything for a mistake that wasn’t even yours…

You’re so distracted that you don’t register Miles talking, so he taps you on the shoulder to get your attention. You flinch, which earns you what you think is a stern look. ‘Please tell me you were paying attention. This isn’t the time to get distracted.’ Right, of course. There could still be danger in here, and all you’re thinking of is your career and reputation…

You frown. ‘Sorry, sir. I lost myself for a moment. Could you repeat that please?’ 

Miles scowl intensifies, and you think it no small mercy that he’s wearing goggles that hide his eyes. ‘I said it’s time to call it a day. We’ve searched every corner of the base and found fuck all. When I find the bastard who started the rumour…’ this assignment must be draining Miles considerably; he’s not usually one to make idle threats like that.

Still, you can’t admit that a similar thought hasn’t crossed your mind, so you smirk at him. ‘You’re going to have to join the cue, sir. Besides, I thought I was supposed to be the violent one?’ Even though you’ve only technically harmed one person since coming here… and he deserved that!

Miles chuckles. ‘Oh, I have my moments at times. I just have more restraint than you.’ You’re not sure you can imagine Miles being violent. Sure, you know he’s a soldier, but he’s so even tempered at all times. It seems impossible to think of him beating up a soldier for starting rumours. 

So you shrug it off. ‘I’d almost like to see you lose some of that restraint sometime, sir. I’m sure it’s something to see.’ It hits you the moment after the words leave your lips that they’re way more flirtatious than you’d intended! You really hope he doesn’t notice that…

Miles contemplates for a while before answering. ‘The only way you’d ever see that would be to piss me off or get me drunk.’ Or to tease him until he broke, a part of you thinks. Oh, but you’d love to see him lose control in that way, the way you assumed he’d take that comment.

Still, at least he’s not taken it as a flirt, which means you might even be able to get away with a little more; you’re already torturing yourself by staying so close to the man you’re crushing on. ‘What kind of booze do you like? I could get us a bottle next time I’m on leave.’ This almost feels wrong, offering your commanding officer booze. Still, banter like this is commonplace; many a time you’ve heard Buc talking about getting Miles plastered.

For a moment, Miles looks slightly awkward, before humming thoughtfully. ‘You know, I actually have some whisky from Buc in my office, if you’d care to join me?’ He… oh wow, he’s inviting you to drink with him! In his office! Just the two of you! You need to calm your heartbeat down before it bursts from your chest and lands at his feet!

Still, you make your best ‘I’m thinking’ face. You wouldn’t want him to think you’re too eager.

As you hear a fast approaching clicking sound, you realise you’ve delayed for too long; it looks like Armstrong herself has come to steal away your chance to have a private drink with the subject of your adoration…

With all the grace of a lioness, the Major General looks at you and Miles in turn, her signature smirk appearing. ‘Looks like the asshole who started the rumour has finally come clean. An old friend of yours, in fact; looks like he spouts shit as well as cleaning it.’ William? Seriously? Fucking seriously? 

You’re about to say as much, but Miles beats you to it. ‘Well, it looks like I’m going to get my chance to toss him out of a window, after all.’ His chance? He’s thought about doing that before?

You snort a laugh. ‘Can I get another hit first?’ Miles snorts right back, but you get the impression he’d love to see you hit Williams; after all, he missed out the first time you did it.

The Major General maintains her smirk. ‘You’re both too late. I’ve already promised Buc that he can deal with the situation. Better luck next time.’ Damn it, you’d have liked one more hit before Buc tosses him over the border…

Miles pats you on the shoulder. ‘There, there. Buc won’t kill him, so there’s still time to get one more hit in.’ He turns his attention back to Armstrong. ‘So, it was all a load of shit then? No spy?’ That’s a point. You’re all assuming that he’s a liar, but if he’s telling the truth.

Armstrong shakes her head. ‘It’s just a game of Xingese whispers. Apparently that little bastard said he was spying on someone. Of course someone only heard the spy part, and that was that. I hate having rumours in my fort. I won’t tolerate them. The next time shit like this lands on my desk, heads will roll.’ You’re certain that whole bodies will somersault if anything like this happens again… it does make you concerned about what she’ll do when she hears the ones about you.

Miles nods. ‘There’s a lot of them about at the moment. I’ll try to put a stop to it.’ Is he leaving right now? But his shift is over? Does this mean you really won’t be getting to share a drink with him tonight? 

Armstrong nods her head. ‘Make a start tomorrow. For now, it’s the end of your shift. I do have a job for you, however.’ She’s looking directly at you know, and you have to repress a shiver; how can anyone inspire this level of fear with a glance? ‘I know Miles is keeping a bottle of whisky in his office. I want you to help him drink it.’ She… what? The Major General is ordering you to get drunk with Miles now? 

Miles’ eyebrows almost fly up into his hairline. ‘I’d… I’d actually already invited her for a drink, but I didn’t get an answer.’ Damn it! Why didn’t you just say yes in an instant? Now he thinks you don’t want to go.

Armstrong’s smirk widens. ‘You have your answer now. Have a nice evening.’ Before you can protest in anyway, the Major General disappears as fast as she appeared, the sound of her footsteps growing distant.

Which you could’ve sworn there was a blush on his face, Miles looks at you again. ‘My office it is then. Unless you really don’t want to. I’m not about to pressure you into this.’ There’s not a thing in the world that he’d ever have to pressure you into; one request, and you’d do anything for him. 

You smile. ‘It’ll be nice. Gives us a chance to get to know each other, sir.’ Even if it does seem a touch inappropriate…

Miles smiles. ‘Follow me then. I’m sure we’ll get to know each other plenty.’ Oh, but there are plenty of ways you love to get to know him…

Without another word, Miles begins the walk to his office, with you following right behind him. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

When you finally reach Miles’ office, you hear the telltale noise of the other soldiers in the fort swapping shifts, and it occurs to you that you’d normally be joining them. Will your absence be noticed? You certainly hope not; you don’t need to put more fuel on the rumour fire.

Miles shuts the door behind you both, but doesn’t lock it, which is reassuring; at least you can run away if you feel you’re in danger of humiliating yourself. 

You take your normal seat in front of Miles’ desk, so he takes his behind it, opening a drawer and producing the bottle from Buc that had instigated this whole thing, along with two glasses. Pouring you both a liberal amount, he pushes a glass to you when he’s done, which you accept gratefully.

As you take your first sip, you have to keep from making a face; this shit tastes strong enough to dissolve wallpaper!

Miles however doesn’t show any bravado, grimacing as he swallows his first sip. ‘Fucking hell. I think Buc is trying to kill me.’ That doesn’t stop him from taking another sip straight after it, his face still slightly downturned.

You chuckle. ‘Looks like you and I are going to die together now, sir.’ Probably a grim thing to say, given your profession and all…

Miles shakes his head. ‘Not a chance. No way either one of us is getting taken out by a bottle. You can drop the sir for now too; you’re here as a friend tonight.’ Your heart skips a beat. A friend? He considers you as such?

Trying to hide how giddy the thought makes you, you take another sip, finding that it goes down easier this time. 

There’s a moment of awkward silence, before Miles breaks it, taking off his jacket and hanging it on his chair. ‘So, what should we talk about?’ He’s asking you? Fantastic! Now’s the time to ask him anything you like!

So you start with the most obvious. ‘What’s with the goggles?’ After all, they’re snow blindness goggles, and there’s no snow here…

Miles hums. ‘Sorry, can’t tell you that. I don’t want to lose my air of mystery. Unless you want to tell me why you were assigned here, of course.’ Damn it, why’s he being so difficult? It’s really hard getting to know him when you can’t even look him in the eyes!

You sigh heavily. ‘I can’t do that. I don’t want to lose your respect. Looks like we’re at a stalemate.’ Shame too. You’d really like to confirm a certain theory you have regarding Miles…

Miles takes a deep sip from his glass, so you follow suit, trying to match his intake. You can already feel a slight tingling in your limbs, a sign that the alcohol is doing its job.

With your initial avenue now closed, you try something arguably less casual. ‘Alright. What about family then? You got a wife and kids?’ Please say no, please say no…

To your relief, Miles shakes his head. ‘Nope. I tend to find dating hard, especially now I’m posted out here. Think my parents are disappointed that they don’t have any grandkids yet, but it’s not like I can do much about it. What about you? Anybody special in your life?’ Great, this was a topic you were hoping to avoid; still, drunk you started it.

You shake your head just like he did. ‘I have had the odd boyfriend in the past, but they didn’t last long. They all wanted a woman who’d be nothing more than a mindless housewife, and I didn’t want that. My parents however wanted nothing more. It’s one of the reasons I joined the military.’ You should try and change the subject now, before you have to go into greater detail…

Miles knocks back the rest of his drink, so you once again do the same. He pours you both a second glass, before he finally gives you an answer. ‘Not the marrying type then?’ Well, at least he’s not talking about your parents, so you’ll take it.

You take a sip before you answer him; this could drastically alter his opinion of you. ‘I am, but for the right guy. I just don’t want to be chained to an oven my whole life, spreading my legs on command and shitting out kid after kid just because he wants them. I want a man that respects me, who understands that I’m not some brain dead girly girl who’s only too eager to please. Any man that would expect that of me isn’t worth fucking, never mind marrying!’ Have you said too much? Would you have said any of that if you were completely sober? Granted, you’ve only had the one, but if it’s half as strong as it tastes…

Miles extends his glass towards you. ‘I’ll drink to that. I’d hate for some asshole to crush your feisty spirit. Things wouldn’t be the same if you didn’t have any bite in you.’ In a bold move, you decide to empty your entire glass, earning you a raised brow from Miles. He decides to copy you, before filling your glasses a third time.

You’re really feeling buzzed now, so much so that the filter between your brain and your mind becoming weaker and weaker. You think back over your previous comments, and try to see if any of it applies to Miles…

‘You’re the kind of man I’d shit out kids for.’ 

Miles chokes on his drink; oh shit, did you say that out loud?!

Desperate, you try to backtrack. ‘I… I just mean that you’d never try to change me! And you’re all polite and stuff! You’re the kind of man who I could take home to meet people, if my family wouldn’t kick you out of the house for having darker skin. I’d never kick you out for that. Out of bed or the house. Fuck! I didn’t mean… you know what I mean, right?’ You’ve blown it. You’ve ruined everything. He’s going to be so angry…

You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Miles seems to just be staring at you, chewing over your words, until finally…

Miles bursts out laughing so hard he grabs at his stomach as it is going to explode. You swear you can see tears spilling out from the edges of his goggles, his laugh reverberating around the room.

Breathless, he tries to talk. ‘You… eheh… you’re so… you’re adorable… pppsh… adorable drunk, haha!’ You feel your cheeks heat up, embarrassment kicking in. This is somehow worse than him being angry…

When he finally calms down, Miles takes another drink, so you sip yours in embarrassment. ‘For what it’s worth, I couldn’t think of a better woman to shit out kids for me.’ Now your heart really has stopped. Surely he didn’t mean that, did he?

You nervously knock back your drink again, and begin to consider if you want more. At this rate, you’re likely to throw yourself at him, and that’s not what you want at all; you’d rather be sober the first time anything like that happens.

Miles knocks his back too, and seems to have the same metal dilemma, before filling his glass again. So you gesture for him to do the same for you, something he does with great care; his coordination seems to be lacking slightly.

If that’s the case, maybe his inhibitions are too? One way to find out…

You lean in close, trying to flutter your eyelashes. ‘So, are you going to show me your eyes now?’ You don’t get the big deal. It’s not like it really matters, right? You just want to look him in the eyes.

Miles barks a laugh. ‘You’re quite the chancer, aren’t you? Deal stands the same as earlier; I want to hear about the punch.’ Damn it! How can he even remember what happened early in the drinking session? You can’t remember your own name right now!

So you pout, doing your best to look innocent. ‘Pretty please sir. I promise not to tell anyone. Just one little peak?’ Does he not trust you? He said you were a friend! You think…

Miles shakes his head. ‘You called me sir again, so no chance. Besides, this should be give and take. You want me to take these off?’ He gestures to his glasses. ‘You have to give me information about this punch. That’s how it works.’ Damn his rules! You should just reach over and snatch them!

You try to do just that, lunging at him the moment you think his guard is down. He grabs your wrist before you can grab them, which should infuriate you; however, the reality of what you just did is both seeping into your mind and onto the floor.

In your haste to grab at Miles, you’ve ended up knocking the bottle over, it’s contents pouring onto both the floor and Miles’ lap. 

You stand up, snatching your wrist back. ‘Oh fuck! At least we drank most of it! Do you have a towel?’ There has to be something available, surely…

To your absolute delight, Miles removes his shirt, using it to mop up the spill on his crotch. While he’s still wearing a vest, it does grant you a spectacular view of his arms; they’re fantastically well-toned!

Trying to make up for your misdemeanour, you walk over to Miles, kneel in front of him, and take over shirt mopping duties, earning you a surprised gasp. 

Too drunk to realise the image you’re presenting, you keep patting away, before humming loudly. ‘I think they’re too wet, Miles. You should take them off.’ Before your brain can tell you all the ways that this is a bad idea, you unbutton his trousers, and try pulling them down his legs.

Desperately, Miles grabs your wrists, taking your hands away from him. ‘Stop. This is too far. I think we both need to get sober up. Are you going to be alright getting to bed?’ Oh fuck. What the hell were you thinking? Here you are on your knees in a puddle of whiskey, trying to remove the Major’s trousers! If someone were to walk in…

Once again you abruptly jump to your feet, your legs barely able to function. You need to get back. You need to go to bed. You need…

You stumble backwards, falling straight on your ass. Great, now you look really pathetic. 

Miles rushes over to you as best he can, pulling you to your feet. ‘Fuck. You can’t walk to the barracks like this. Armstrong is going to kill me for this, but you’re going to have to have my bed for the night.’ Miles’ bed? Miles’ bed?! Miles expects you to sleep in his bed?! Will he be in it too?

Trying to support you both, Miles manages to half drag you into the next room. His bed is exactly what you’d expect; completely bland and utilitarian. There’s a sofa in the room too however, something you weren’t expecting.

Miles drops you down on the bed, coaxing your body into the recovery position. ‘I need to clean up. You need to throw up, just do it on the floor, I’ll clean it up. Try not to fall asleep until I get back.’ With that, he grabs a pile of clothes from the sofa, and staggers off to the bathroom. 

As much as you’d love to follow his orders, the bed is just too comfy; you can’t help but fall asleep moments after he leaves.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

This was all a big mistake.

That’s the main thing going through Miles’ head as he stumbles towards the bathroom. He’s lucky he has one all to himself; he’d hate to have to explain this to anyone else.

They’d had too much. Way too much. How many had they had again? His glasses weren’t exactly small either, and he doesn’t know a fucking thing about whiskey; god knows how many measures they’d both had. It’s a surprise there was any left in the bottle to spill!

When he reaches the bathroom, Miles’ first order of business is to strip down. It doesn’t surprise him at all when an erection springs almost violently from his now-discarded boxers. The sight of her on her knees, rubbing his lap, tugging off his trousers…

Shit. How is he supposed to take a piss when he’s this hard?! If he’d gotten into this mess almost any other way, he’d be tempted to take care of it, but with her waiting for him a couple of doors away…

This isn’t how this was supposed to go down. He’d just wanted a chance to learn more about her, to overcome his lust by forming a stronger bond with her. But now, he wants her more than ever! Fuck, and that comment about how she’d shit out his kids… he’d be a liar if he said he wasn’t picturing exactly how he’d put them there.

No! Not helping! He needs a cold shower. A really cold shower. Maybe he should open the window, half freeze himself? If that doesn’t kill his erection, nothing will.

Or he could try thinking about Buc. That might help.

Fucking Buc, that rat bastard. Miles should have known he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. 

Buc told Armstrong everything. It happened the same day they all ate together for the first time (technically she didn’t eat, and they’d mostly finished, but it still counts as the first in his mind). While Miles was in his office getting work done, Buc was telling Armstrong all about his crush, and everything else Miles had confided in him. 

Naturally, Armstrong is now taking it upon herself to torment Miles in her own special way. While she’s not addressed the situation directly (Miles only knows that she knows thanks to Buc coming clean), she’s been doing little things to really test his resolve. Ordering the object of his (admittedly still growing) affections to drink with him is another level. Sure, Miles asked her first, but she was probably about to turn him down. Undoubtedly Armstrong wanted to see if Miles could still maintain his own unbreakable discipline. She’s probably expecting them to be at it right now, crying obscenities into the night. While that would be preferable to the current situation, Miles is better than that; he wouldn’t want to spoil their first night together with alcohol. He’d want to remember everything…

Thankfully, thinking about Armstrong and Buc has killed his erection, so he can finally piss in peace; he’ll shower tomorrow, when he’s less likely to fall on his ass.

When he’s finally pissed and dressed, Miles leaves his dirty clothes and heads back to his bedroom, grabbing his jacket as he goes.

Miles realizes straight away that his visitor is asleep; she’s making little noises. The sight warms his heart. As much as he loves her fire, it’s nice to see such a soft side of her.

Wait, he loves her fire? Psh, must be the booze putting words in his brain. He’s going to have a bear-sized headache tomorrow.

Careful not to wake her, he manages to get her underneath the covers. She’s still fully dressed in her uniform, but Miles isn’t about to start stripping down a sleeping woman; that’s the kind of thing he really could be court-martialed over. 

When he was satisfied that she’s comfortable, Miles takes his place on the sofa, using his jacket as a blanket. It’s not ideal, but he can’t exactly use his bed with her in it; two drunk people sharing a bed is a recipe for disaster.

Despite his discomfort, Miles sleeps easy that night, replaying all the things her heard tonight in his head, lest the alcohol steal his memories of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that :) There shall be more in the future, but for now, thank you for reading ^.^


	6. The Morning After The Drinks Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> I’m back with more ^.^ a little late, but a lot of that is recovery time after my failed career as a ninja (The worst part is, I’m only half-kidding).
> 
> A big high five to anyone who spots the nod to a British cult classic film (the scene came to mind as I was writing it, so I decided to add it in funsies)
> 
> Anyhow, enjoy ^.^

The only thing going through your mind as you slowly wake up is pain.

It feels like someone has repeatedly smashed a brick straight into your brain. Your eyes ache with effort as they scan the room, your memories desperately trying to reboot.

You groan as you realise you’re not in your own bed; in fact, you’ve no idea where you are. 

Putting your head in your hands, you now try to drag your memories into the light. Think. What happened last night? You spent the day on patrol with Miles, saw Armst-

Oh fuck. Miles. This is Miles’ room! That’s right! He invited you back for drinks! The details are hazy, but they’re coming back now. The banter, the booze, the spillage…

Oh double fuck. You wiped the alcohol off of him. Off his crotch! You took his trousers off! But you can’t for the life of you remember what happened between then and his bed… 

Part of you wants to die. What if you did things together? Things that could get you both thrown out of army and into prison? Will he tell people? Will he blame you? You’re the one who started rubbing at his crotch, after all…

As you continue to fret, it strikes you that you’re still in your uniform, shoes and all. Weird. If you did end up going past certain boundaries, why are you still fully-clothed?

As you contemplate things, you hear a groan nearby. Scanning the room, you notice something you’d overlooked before; there’s a sofa in the room, and Miles is on it, using his jacket as a blanket. Strange that such a sparse room has a sofa…

Another groan, and the mass that is Miles sits up, one of his hands digging into his head. ‘Fuck. Never doing that again. I feel like a pig shat in my head.’ He takes a glance at you, noticing a look of pain that mirrors his own. ‘As your commanding officer, I say we grab breakfast, then hide in here the rest of the day. Deal?’ You’re really glad he said that; you’re no good to anyone in your state.

You nod your head, wincing slightly when it jerks too hard. ‘Now that’s an order I’m not likely to disobey. I don’t remember anything that happened last night either.’ Well, you remember a few things, but you’re half-testing to see what Miles remembers…

Moving his jacket off of him, Miles stands, only to sit on the bed to talk to you easier; no doubt he wants to avoid raising his voice anymore than necessary. ‘Fuck knows. All I know is you fell flat on your ass trying to leave, then fell asleep on my bed. Sorry you had to sleep in your uniform, but there was no way in hell I was gonna strip you in your state. Hell, looks like I couldn’t even dress myself.’ He gestures to his trousers, and you fight the urge to giggle; he’s managed to put them on back-to-front somehow!

While you don’t giggle, you do grin. ‘How did you even manage that?’ You can only imagine how uncomfortable it must be. How drunk was he that did that in the first place?

Miles grins right back. ‘Your guess is as good as mine. I don’t think either of is should get drunk again anytime soon.’ You can agree with that. You’d have never agreed in the first place had the offer came from anyone else.

Still, you can’t help but feel disappointed. ‘No more private drinking sessions then?’ You try to sound joking, but it comes out almost as deflated as you feel.

Miles looks conflicted at first, before he smiles softly. ‘If we switch the whiskey for coffee, I’m game to do this again. It was nice getting to know you better… at least, I think it was. Yeah, we should probably stay sober in the future if we’re planning to remember shit.’ You’re just relived he doesn’t seem to remember you practically assaulting him…

With all the strength you have, you drag your body out of bed, standing on weakened legs. Your stomach churns from the effort, and before you know it, you can feel the bile rising to your throat.

In a blind panic, you rush out of Miles’ room, looking for the toilet. Surely he has one, right? Right? 

Right, of course he does. This isn’t your first time in his office! You’ve pissed in his loo before!

Thankfully, you make it to the toilet a few seconds before the inevitable happens, emptying the contents of your stomach into the once pristine loo.

As the deluge continues, you almost flinch as something grabs hold of your hair; you really wish Miles hadn’t followed you. How are you supposed to make him forget seeing something like this?!

A gentle hand rubs your back. ‘That’s it, let it all out. I should never have let us drink so much. I’m sorry.’ Having the subject of your affections holding your hair back as you vomit whilst rubbing your back and whispering words of comfort isn’t something you’d ever planned on experiencing. Still, you can’t deny part of you loves having his hands on you…

With a final lurch, your stomach finally runs out of things to get rid of; a few more dry heaves, and it finally stops.

When he’s sure you’ve stopped, Miles helps you stand, flushing the toilet as he does. ‘I think you need a shower. You’ve got a little…’ He makes a vague gesture towards your mouth, a clear indication that you’re covered in vomit. ‘You’ll have to wear the same jacket and trousers, but I can lend you a shirt. Give me two seconds.’ With that, Miles dashes from the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 

In all honesty, you feel a little disappointed; there’s not a chance he’ll ever find you attractive after all of this. You’ve ruined your chances with him. He’s even telling you that you need a wash, for fucks sake…

Wait… when he said shower, did he mean here?! In his personal shower?! No way. There’s no way he meant that surely?!

Sure enough, not a moment after announcing it, Miles comes back with a clean shirt, towel, and flannel, handing them to you with a smile. ‘There’s soap and shampoo in the shower. Nothing fancy, but it’ll get you clean. As for your mouth…’ he rushes over to a cabinet on the wall, before retrieving and presenting you with a toothbrush. ‘Never been used, I promise. I just keep a couple spares handy. Might as well keep it here, in case we end up getting wrecked again after all. Toothpaste is also in the shower… I tend to multitask where I can.’ You swear you see a faint blush on Miles’ cheeks, and it makes your heart ache. ‘Take as long as you need. I’ll be in my office. I’ll probably jump in after you. Anything else you need?’ Your dignity back would be a nice start…

Dignity? Oh shit, that’s right. You need fresh underwear! 

No, you can’t. You can’t ask him for that. That would be crossing so, so many lines. He’d probably kick you out if he even knew you were thinking it! You’ll just have to go without for the day. Yeah, you can just bundle them up with the dirty shirt, and smuggle them back into your room. It’s simple.

You just hope Miles doesn’t grab your washing first.

Finally settled, you shake your head. ‘I’m all good, sir.’ Damn it, why’d you have to say that? It was getting fun, being in Miles’ room as a friend…

Miles nods. ‘Alright then. I’ll see you in a bit.’ With that, he leaves, and the reality of your situation hits your barely-together mind once again. This is definitely not something you thought you’d ever be doing, but now that you are, it seems… quite neat really. Getting to make use of actual shower with compete privacy is a rarity. Perhaps Miles would be willing to let you borrow his again? Not so often that people get suspicious mind, but the odd little one every once in a while?

Not wanting to waste the opportunity by standing around idly, you strip down, and get into the shower.

The water takes a moment to heat up, but you don’t mind; the cold water seems to jolt your mind awake, enough that some more of last night comes seeping through. 

Miles is single. That’s something fairly surprising, now that you think about it. Surely there’s no shortage of women willing to date the incredibly handsome and surprisingly soft Major? You’d like to put yourself firmly at the top of the list, of course, but you refuse to believe you’re the only one on it. Perhaps his lack of direct eye contact puts women off? Then again, surely he can’t always wear the goggles? Something else then? Are his sideburns too ticklish or something?

You have to deliberately make the water cold for a moment as you fantasise about where you’d like to feel them ticking.

After scrubbing your body, hair, and teeth as clean as possible, you reluctantly leave the shower, immediately wrapping yourself in the towel. However, as soon as you shake it out, something falls onto the floor; a pair of men’s boxers.

Looks like Miles really did think of everything.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

As you and Miles swap places, you inform him that you’ll go out and get both trays of breakfast today; it’s the very least you can do, after all.

With Miles’ blessing, you set off the the mess hall, hoping as always to avoid a certain someone that seems to make a habit out of being a nuisance.

While you seem to manage to avoid Williams, that doesn’t stop two other officers- the ones that occupy the bunks either side of your own- from approaching you just as the mess hall is in sight.

The first of the two women grins mockingly. ‘So, finally showing your face, huh? What, too good to slum it in the mess with us now you’re fucking the Major?’ Shit. Looks like people are already suspicious. Still, what did you expect? Your presence was bound to be noticed, and considering Miles is the one officer you spend the most time with…

You sigh heavily, rolling your eyes. ‘Actually, Armstrong had us both working all night. I’ve come to collect breakfast to so we can keep at it.’ Not technically a lie; she’s the one that ordered you to drink, after all.

The second woman gives an empty laugh. ‘You’re such a liar. Why don’t you just admit it? We all know you love spreading yourself for your commanding officers.’ Your hands clench into fists; did she really just say that?

You’re about to punch her straight in the mouth, but a stern voice stops you. ‘There you are. Are you and Miles done with my orders yet?’ You immediately begin to relax; who knew Major General Armstrong could have such a calming presence?

While you relax, the two women tense up; time for some friendly payback. 

Turning towards Armstrong, you smile politely. ‘Just grabbing breakfast, sir. We’ve finished what you asked of us both, but the Major wants my help with your other orders.’ You hope she knows what you’re talking about, otherwise this’ll all backfire.

Armstrong smirks. ‘Ah yes, the rumour mill. Well, as you’re working under Miles on my orders directly, it’s only natural that you help him. Besides, I’m sure you’re far better acquainted with any guilty parties. You and Miles come up with a list, and I’ll make sure anyone taking part in these rumours are punished appropriately. Speaking of which, didn’t one of you say something about fraternisation?’ She must have been listening the whole time; you’re just glad she’s on your side.

The women both stutter in unison, before the first one manages to speak. ‘I-it was banter! Just a joke! We didn’t mean-‘ 

Armstrong’s time immediately before vicious. ‘It was nothing, Sir! You dare address me improperly?!’ If looks could kill, everyone in the fort would probably drop dead right now.

The second woman bursts into tears. ‘We’re sorry, sir! We promise it won’t happen again!’ You don’t believe them for a second, but unfortunately it’s not up to you…

The Major General loses none of her severity. ‘The next time you speak to me like that is the time I make your lives a living nightmare. If you’re not out of my sight in the next two minutes, I will destroy you both.’ The two women don’t need to be told twice; they disappear almost immediately, heading off to their posting for the day. 

There’s a moment of silence, followed by a sharp laugh. ‘So, you slept in Miles’ room last night? Any reason for that?’ Damn it, does she think you’re fraternising too? Is she going to throw the book at you?

All you can do is tell the truth. ‘We both got blackout drunk, so I ended up sleeping in his bed while he slept on the sofa, sir. When I woke up, Miles lent me a shirt and told me to shower. He’s showering himself right now, so I offered to grab breakfast.’ That sounds like such bullshit, even if it is the truth. There’s no way she’ll believe that.

Armstrong nods. ‘Very well.’ Wait, that’s it? No shred of disbelief or questioning?

You ask her as much, which makes her smirk. ‘If you say that’s what happened, I’ll believe you. I’ll believe it when I hear it from Miles too. Unless one of you comes to my room crying rape, I’ll accept any lie or truth you want to tell me. The only thing that matters to me is that you continue to do your jobs. So, if you’re telling me that Miles let you use his bed while he slept elsewhere, that’s what happened. It’s as simple as that.’ Wow. It’s nice to know that she’d be supportive in her own way, if by some miracle anything did actually happen between you and Miles.

Either that, or she’s planning to absolve herself of any complicity. Thinking about it, that sounds most likely.

So you give her a nod. ‘That is indeed what happened, sir. Speaking of which though, I should probably go and grab breakfast now; I can’t imagine a hungry Major is a happy Major.’ In truth, you’re just keen to get back to the quiet safety of his office…

Armstrong hums. ‘I can’t imagine he is, but then again, as he failed to discipline you after you ruined his lunch on your first day, I don’t think you’re in any real danger.’ She makes a fair point, but that takes a backseat in your mind as you begin to imagine all the ways you’d love Miles to discipline you…

Scared that she might read your thoughts, you smile politely at Armstrong, before heading off towards the mess hall.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The moment her target is out of sight, Armstrong walks away from the mess hall, and straight to the location of one of her subordinates.

‘So, what happened?’ Buc ask her in a tone just a little too loud to be considered a whisper.

Armstrong frowns. ‘They both got shit faced and blacked out before anything could happen. How strong was the alcohol you gave Miles?’ Too strong, of that the Major General is certain.

It’s Buc’s turn to frown. ‘Damn it. I guess neither of them can handle whiskey well. Probably should have gone with something a little more mild…’ Armstrong can’t help but ask herself why she gave Buc free rein over this idea. She should have interceded, but she didn’t, and now their plan is no further forwards than it was before last night…

Still, her frown soon disappears. ‘I suppose it’s not a total loss. If I know Miles half as well as I think I do, I bet he’s been the perfect gentleman this morning. He’s let her use his shower at the very least, given that her hair is clearly freshly washed. If nothing else, I’m sure this incident will endear her to him slightly.’ After all, strong willed or no, what woman doesn’t love a partner that can take care of them when they need it?

Buc laughs. ‘I think we’re past that. After all, neither of us would be trying to push them together if we had any reason to believe that one of them wasn’t interested.’ Even if Buc only knows for certain that Miles has feelings for the other half of this pairing he and Armstrong are trying so hard to create…

Armstrong’s lips curl up. ‘A fair point. Still, would it be so terrible to push them closer even if we didn’t know for certain? We know Miles won’t do anything to harm her. What do you say we close the distance further, hm?’ 

Buc raises his brows. ‘You’re serious about this, aren’t you?’ 

Armstrong hums. ‘As a heart attack.’ 

Buc chuckles a little too loud, drawing the attention of a few passers-by; one flash of his best ‘slightly unhinged’ smile, and they soon go back to minding their own business.

When he’s certain they’re alone again, Buc responds. ‘Alright, I’m in. It’s about time Miles had some kind of luck with the ladies. You know he hasn’t had a girlfriend in forever, right?’ In Buc’s world, ‘forever’ could be anything from ten years to ten days, but Armstrong is inclined to believe it’s closer to the former on this occasion.

Armstrong sighs. ‘We both know why that is. At least we know this time that if he is rejected, it won’t be through prejudice.’ 

Buc nods solemnly. ‘I hear you on that. I just hope this works out. If any of the rumours I’ve heard are true though, Miles is in for a rough time trying to convincing her that he wants more than sex.’ This has Armstrong curious; since when does Buc listen to gossip?

Her question shows in her eyes, because Buc answers it. ‘This is all according to latrine boy. He told me that the reason Miles’ crush punched a guy is because he mentioned that she was in a relationship with an officer.’ This has Armstrong intrigued; is there any truth to that, or is it just another petty lie?

Armstrong folds her arms in front of her chest. ‘Tell me everything you know.’ 

Buc sighs. ‘After hearing it from shit scrubber, I decided to ask around. I’ve gotten a few different accounts of it, but the one thing they seem to have in common is that our friend was in a sexual relationship with one of the officers while still in training. I say sexual because that’s the only thing that stays consistent through all the accounts. A few say that they were lovers, but others say that she just wanted a quick way up the ranks. A handful speculated that the officer decided to take advantage of a solider under his care, but they’re the exception, not the rule.’ Ah, but while Armstrong has been around long enough to know that all of them are possible, she’s still wary of rumours, especially inconsistent ones.

Armstrong sighs. ‘That’s quite a setback, if any of it is actually true. Still, I don’t think she’s the kind that would trade sex for power, especially when she’s quite capable of gaining it on her own merit. I think our next move then should be coaxing Miles into finding the truth of the matter. After all, I have ordered him to erase the rumours from this place.’ Hard as that might be; gossip spreads like wildfire amongst people in isolated places like Briggs.

Buc also sighs. ‘It could take months for him to get the truth out of her, if he even can. Can we really keep at this for that long?’ 

Armstrong smirks. ‘As long as you don’t fall behind on work, I see no reason to quit. Besides, this was all your idea, Captain Buccaneer.’ Her voice is set with the same ice cold certainty as always, leaving no room for argument.

Buc is almost sorry for getting her involved, but he knows deep down that he needs her help.

After all, it’s about time his friend had a slice of happiness.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The torrent of cold water against Miles’ skin doesn’t clear his mind half as well as he’d like.

His headache could be the death of him. It’s like the two halves of his brain are trying to pull themselves apart. He’s not had a hangover like this for years.

Still, even in his own mind, that doesn’t justify lying.

Despite his banging headache, Miles’ memory remains pretty much intact, or no worse than usual at least. He remembers everything that happened last night, from the personal questions to his ‘guest’ falling on her ass. He doesn’t remember dressing himself incorrectly, but that’s about the only thing he’s missing.

Miles sighs. He should have told her everything about last night, but how could he? How do you tell your subordinate, the woman you have poorly-hidden affection for, that she was a paltry scrap of fabric away from seeing him in all his shameful glory? He’s never been more grateful for boxers in his whole life. What would she have done if he’d not been wearing them? Screamed half of Briggs down probably, before running off to Armstrong and launching a formal complaint.

Well, either that, or she might have helped alleviate the matter. Given how drunk she was last night, Miles isn’t sure which of the two outcomes is worse.

He needs to get his mind out of the gutter. She’ll be back here any minute, and undoubtedly lucid enough to notice if he’s sporting a hard on underneath his uniform. 

Speaking of, he hopes he didn’t offend her earlier by sneaking her a pair of boxers. He knew in his mind that she’d never ask for them, so he decided he’d spare her embarrassment and just give them to her. Considering they’re not with the dirty towel (she took her clothes with her when she left, probably so he wouldn’t have to see her dirty underwear. Looks like he’s not the only one trying to save someone from embarrassment), he can only assume that she took him up on his offer.

Despite his hangover, Miles hopes there will be more evenings like last night. Not involving any kind of presents from Buc mind, but evenings spent talking, just getting to know each other better. After all, Miles did learn a few things about her.

The most important of these being that she’s single, of course.

Now all he needs to do is find a way to coax the truth about her punch out of her. He’s heard the odd whisper around the fort, but nothing solid. All he can gather is that the person she hit said something that she didn’t like, and ended up with a broken nose. Maybe he tried it on with her? Can Miles expect the same if he tries anything… overfamiliar?

He’d like to think she knows him well enough now to know that if she tells him to back off, he’ll back right off. He has no interest in forcing her into anything, especially not a relationship.

Maybe he should offer her the same deal he offered last night? After all, is there really any harm in telling her he’s Ishvalan? Or part Ishvalan technically, though his red eyes leave little room for debating semantics. What’s the worst that she’ll do? She’s no racist, so Miles has nothing to worry about. 

Unless her words are just for show, of course.

Damn. Why does this have to be hard? He should just say something to her, ask her to consider a relationship with him. At least then he wouldn’t have to torment himself with what could or couldn’t be.

Shutting off the water, Miles steps out into the cold bathroom, and begins to towel off, making sure to get as much moisture off his body as possible; the last thing he wants is to catch a cold.

He hears the door to his office open a few moments after he finishes dressing. ‘Miles? You still in the shower? I can’t hear the water.’ At least she’s somewhat observant. That’s reassuring, given they’re always on patrol together. He also notes that ‘sir’ has disappeared once again, something that makes his heart race a little more than it should.

Miles calls out. ‘Two seconds, I’m just finishing up.’ Now that’s sheer back, Miles finds that he’s actually quite excited at the prospect of having her all to himself again today. After all, every moment alone together is a chance to know each other better, and he’s not going to miss out on that.

After all, even if nothing comes of his feelings, there’s no harm in spending time with a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. There’s a high chance that I’ll be dropping off the map for a bit, but I hope to be back as soon as I can with more content.
> 
> As always, thank you all so much for reading :D


	7. Breaking The Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo,
> 
> Brace yourself; updates are coming. I recently went on holiday, and I mayyyyy have found some time to do some writing; enough to effectively double the current length of this story!
> 
> Now, to avoid spamming, I’ll be releasing a chapter a day until I’m all caught up (oh, and for those of you still wondering when this’ll earn an E-rating… just you wait ;) )
> 
> Anyhow, enjoy ^.^

Three months have passed now since your drinking session with Miles, and things in Briggs have most definitely changed for the better. 

For one, you and Miles now have a weekly drink together, though as agreed, you’ve both been sticking to coffee; no more booze from Buc ever again. While it’s only ever a cup or two, it’s a wonderful thing, spending some downtime with him. You’ve grown to know so much about him now, from his upbringing to his preferred brand of coffee. From everything he’s told you, his family sounds amazing; it’s no wonder he grew up to be such a wonderful man. He even told you a story about his grandmother, and how she defied her family to be with the man she loved; why they couldn’t marry, he’d neglected to say, but you have a few guesses. She probably came from money, while he didn’t, or something like that. It was a beautiful story either way, one that almost reminds you of your situation…

Or it would, if you were Miles’ lover, rather than his close friend.

Another fantastic (if not completely indulgent and utterly rule-breaking) change is that Miles has given you free use of his shower, provided that you ask first. While you’ve been keen to take full advantage of the situation, you’ve had to be discreet; you’ve deliberately been showing at times you know there won’t be people in the group showers, just so no one can prove you haven’t been using them. The last thing you want is to get Miles into trouble over a shower…

… not that Armstrong would care; all you’d have to do is tell her some kind of excuse, and she’d believe it. That’s what she told you, and you’d be a fool to not believe her.

The final perk- one that you’ll take to your grave- is that Miles hasn’t asked for his boxers back; as far as your concerned, if he wants them, he’ll have to strip them from your warm, longing body, because there’s no way you’d be willing to give up such comfortable underwear for anything less than a night of wild passion! 

Oh, and what a night it would be. You could spend all day imagining all the many ways that Miles could pleasure you. 

If only you were with him today.

For what feels like the first time since you arrived here, you’re not with Miles today; he’s busy investigating the rumour mill by himself. That means you’ve been put on icicle duty, with the last person you’d expect…

A loud crash jolts you out of your thoughts, drawing your attention to the man behind. ‘Damn, that was a big one! You see that?’ No, you didn’t, but you don’t want to disappoint your ‘buddy’ for the day.

You’d hate to see Captain Buccaneer in a bad mood.

You nod once. ‘Nice. I guess that metal arm of yours does have uses past making fresh recruits piss themselves!’ To be honest, it could be worse; while he can be a little much sometimes, Buc is pretty good company really.

Buc grins, his eyes taking on a dangerous gleam. ‘Who says it only works on fresh recruits?’ He’s not got his chainsaw arm today, or else you’re sure he’d have revved it; he just angles the clawed arm he does have into the sunlight, making it gleam in what you assume is meant to be a threatening manner.

You roll your eyes and laugh. ‘Nice try, Buc, but I’m a big girl now; I’m not scared of shiny shit anymore.’ In fairness, if he really tried when you’d first arrived, you would have been freaked out by him. Now that you know him however, he’s about as scary as Miles…

… alright, so maybe he’s a bit scarier than Miles, but he’s hardly Armstrong.

Buc laughs heartily. ‘I thought women liked shiny shit! My plans for my next leave have gone out the fucking window! I was gonna have a girl on each arm…’ He flexes them both, almost as if he’s imagining women in them.

You snicker. ‘Oh yeah? One to braid your hair, and one to comb the ‘stache?’ Not that there’s all the much to comb, but of course you’d never say that…

Buc gasps, stroking his moustache. ‘I don’t let just any woman touch my pride and joy!’ If his moustache is his pride and joy, you’d hate to hear about the other things he considers precious!

The both of you fall into a comfortable silence after that, getting back to the task at hand. It’s only when Buc speaks again is the silence finally broken.

‘You know, I’ve been thinking; maybe you and I should hit the bars on leave together. You’re single, right?’ The icicle you’re hitting lands dangerous close to you, your thoughts distracted for a moment. You honestly don’t know which part sounds more horrific; being coerced into dating when your heart already belongs to someone, or the idea of going out drinking with Buc!

Wait, your heart doesn’t belong to Miles though, does it? He’s just a friend, a friend that you have secret sexual and romantic feelings towards…

So why does the idea hurt so much?

Trying to play it cool as to not alert Buc to your train of thought, you laugh. ‘No thanks. I’ve already heard just how deadly you can be on a night out!’ On one of your evenings together, Miles described in detail exactly what he can remember from his last night out with Buc, and personally, you’d rather avoid ruining through the frozen streets half-naked, and singing the national anthem…

Buc claps you on the back, almost causing you to slip on you ass; he needs to control the force of his arm! ‘Aww, come on! It’s fun once you get past the alcohol poisoning! You are at least single though, right? Nobody waiting for you on leave?’ It almost hurts hearing him say that, knowing that not even your parents are waiting for you on leave. Still, he’s not to know; not even Miles has heard much about that particular aspect of your life.

You shake your head. ‘Nope. No man is looking forward to me coming home. No woman either, if you still think I’m gay.’ If you were, you probably would be after Armstrong, as Buc had once implied; you’re quite certain a lot of women would kill for a girlfriend like her.

Buc hums thoughtfully. ‘So you wouldn’t mind if I did a bit of matchmaking, would you? I have this cousin living down south, I could always give you his address so you could-‘

You cut him off. ‘Thanks for the offer, Buc, but I’m not interested. I’m sure he’s great and all, but he’s not for me.’ Then again, Miles isn’t for you either; is it too soon to conclude that you’ll die alone?

Once again, there’s silence, before Buc walks closer to you, leaning down to whisper something to you;

‘Is that because you’d rather be in Miles’ bed?’ 

You stare at him, completely gobsmacked. He- how? How does he know? You’ve hidden it so well!

Buc takes a step back, barking out a triumphant laugh. ‘I knew it! I knew you had a little candle burning for our Major! Is that why you’ve been drinking coffee with him every week, hm? Desperate for some one-on-one time with him and his mutton chops?’ Why did it have to be Buc that found out? Of all the people in the fort to find out…

You shake your head vehemently, so much so that you start feelings dizzy. ‘I-it’s not like that! We’re just friends! Honest!’ Not technically a lie; yet you’ve avoided his question.

Alas, like a dog with a bone, nothing stops Buc when he’s got his teeth into something juicy. ‘Just because you’re his friend, that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to want to fuck his brains out. Is it the frat regs holding you back? Because you know I’d cover for you both. I’d do just about anything to help my buddies get laid every once in a while.’ He winks at you, and part of you dies inside. He’s going to tell Miles, isn’t he? He’s definitely going to tell Miles…

Just as you’re about to protest more, Buc’s gaze suddenly turns deadly. ‘Or are you the kind of woman that is only interested in fucking a man if it gets her something, like a promotion perhaps?’ Your blood somehow manages to run cold and boil simultaneously. Any respect you had for Buc begins to disappear into the cold air of Briggs.

You practically spit out your answer. ‘Fuck you. You think so little of me? Do I look like I give a fuck about promotions or titles? I got myself exiled to bumfuck Briggs because I-‘ you stop yourself, taking a deep breath; if you’re going to tell anyone why you’re here, it won’t be him first. ‘I know that this is it. I’m stuck here as bottom of the career ladder for the rest of my life as a solider, but I’m fine with that. I like it here! Sure, most people seem to hate my fucking guts, but I don’t care. Screw them, and screw you for thinking I’d whore myself out to any man with any kind of authority! I thought we were buddies!’ He called himself your buddy two seconds ago! Where did all this come from.

To your surprise, Buc is… blushing? ‘We- I mean- I didn’t mean- shit, I really hit a nerve there, didn’t I? I’m sorry. It’s none of my fucking business anyway. It’s just… look, swear you won’t spread this around? I’m trusting you big time with this.’ Oh, so now he wants to trust the fort’s resident slapper with private things? 

As angry as you are, you can only nod, which is good enough for Buc. ‘Miles… he has a bad track record with women. It’s not that he’s mean to them or anything like that! I don’t want you to think he’s the kind of scumbag that would beat a woman, because nothing could be further from the truth! It’s just… well… there is one thing that Miles can’t change, as much as he’d like to, and that’s the attitude that people have towards him. People take a single look at the real him, and they change. They forget all the things they came to love, instead focusing on the one thing they think they should hate. I just don’t want some tart to get Miles’ hopes up, only to find out that it was all just a scam to earn them a career jumpstart. I just needed to know if you were stringing him along. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.’ That’s… even you can’t argue with that. The anger dissipates almost as fast as it arrived, especially after looking to Buc’s eyes; you’ve never seen him look so sincere.

Trying to reassure him, you sigh. ‘For what it’s worth, and I’m trusting you to keep this to yourself, I do genuinely care about him. He’s my friend before anything else, even if I’d be a liar if I said he meant nothing more to me than that. If anything were to happen between us, then I wouldn’t let work factor into it at all. The most I’ve taken from him is the occasional use of his shower, but I think I should stop that now, because you make a fair point. I don’t want him to feel like I only want to get close to him because I want things from him…’ other than a relationship, but you know you can’t have that anyway…

Buc sniffs, wiping a tear from his eye. ‘That was beautiful. But yeah, you should keep using his shower; the group showers fucking suck. Besides, imagine what it does to Miles, knowing that you’re all naked and wet in his private quarters…’ A blush ignites all over your face; trust Buc to think of something like that!

Once again, Buc keeps digging in his teeth. ‘Maybe you should start leaving him little mementos? Start with the odd sock, maybe a t-shirt, then your underwear…’ How much trouble would you get in if you pushed Buc off the edge of the fort? Because it’s starting to get really rather tempting…

Your try your best Armstrong glare, and Buc relents, though his grin is still salacious. ‘Fine. I’ll leave you be… for now.’ You don’t like the sound of that, but you’ll take it.

You and Buc don’t talk much for the next half an hour or so. It’s only when a couple newer members of staff walk past that your conversation begins anew, ignited by their remarks.

‘Oh, looks like the tart is at it again.’

‘Yeah. I guess the Major didn’t need a whore, after all.’ 

They giggle, almost as if they assume you can hear every word they’ve just said!

Once they’re out of earshot, Buc turns to you, his face a picture of guilt. ‘Okay, so there may have been another reason I asked about your intentions. There’s a lot of rumours going around about you. Normally I’d ignore them all, but they’ve all been… consistent. It’s about the reason you punched a fellow trainee.’ You should have known. Of course they’d start to wade through the bullshit someday. Why so soon? Why not-

Miles.

He’s looking into the rumours.

He’s going to find out.

Blood begins to drain from your face, and you have to fight to stay upright. What do you do now?

Just as you’re about to panic, Buc grabs your shoulders firmly, trying to comfort you. ‘It’s okay. You don’t have to tell anyone what happened. You’ve just got a right to know that these rumours exist. After speaking with you now, I know there’s no way you’d ever sleep with someone for power, and I’ll make sure everyone knows that, especially Miles.’ As dense as he might seem at times, Buc is occasionally rather astute; or maybe he’s just keenly aware of what Miles is doing right now.

You nod half-heartedly; you know deep down that no matter what Buc might say, once the shit’s been shat…

Buc sighs. ‘Damn, I’ve made your day pretty shitty, haven’t I? Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? I can take care of these icy bastards myself. Why don’t you go and see how Miles is getting along? Hearing all this bullshit about his friend must have him so down, he could use some TLC; tight little-‘

You raise your hand in front of you. ‘I’m going to stop you right there, Buc. But thanks. I think I need to think of a way to deal with some of these rumours myself.’ Before you leave, there’s something that’s bugging you. ‘What you said earlier about Miles… what is it that puts people off?’ 

Buc suddenly looks quite panicked. ‘Um, well you see… it’s the goggles! Yep. They can’t stand how much his loves those snow goggles!’ What a petty thing to hate! You’d be willing to overlook them for sure…

You smile slightly. ‘You know, Miles keeps offering to remove them for me, if I tell him about the punch. I guess he must really value our friendship if he’s willing to do that.’ You almost feel bad for asking about it now; maybe he has a dreadful medical condition?

Buc still seems nervous, but he smiles nonetheless. ‘Yep, he sure does! Now get out of here before I change my mind. Honestly, why Armstrong insists that even senior staff have to do this is beyond me…’ You honestly don’t know what he’s complaining about; at least he’s got one less limb to worry about losing!

With Buc’s blessing, you head off inside, hoping that you don’t get grilled by Armstrong.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

As soon as he’s certain she’s gone, Buc has to fight the urge to high-five himself. He was so worried he’d have to big Miles up, try to convince her of the Major’s good points.

Armstrong is going to be pleased when she hears that both parties are smitten.

Still, the rumours are concerning. Despite what he said, he has no real idea if he’ll be able to convince Miles that she’s not out for power, once the closet Ishvalan hears the rumours for himself. After all, Buc knows Miles well enough by now to know that the man is almost certainly looking for reasons not to pursue her, and former involvement with another captain would be the perfect reason…

Well, if that’s the case, looks like Buc has his work cut out of him; who knew matchmaking could be so damn hard?

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

By the time he makes it back to his office at lunchtime, Miles has to fight the urge to throw the contents of his desk against the wall.

Of all the people who could have been subject to rumour, why did it have to be her?

Miles opens one of his drawers, hoping there’s something a lot stronger than coffee in it. To his dismay, all he finds is more paperwork; damn his life of endless paperwork.

Alright, coffee it is then. He should have grabbed his lunch before he came here, but he didn’t want to risk his temper boiling over onto some random solider; though there’s one solider he’d personally like to rake over hot coals for the rest of eternity.

Williams.

Miles flicks the kettle on, before subconsciously preparing two cups of coffee. When was the last time he had a cup alone? She’s always with him in here, always. He’s glad that she’s with Buc now though; if he doesn’t want a random soldier to catch his ire, then she’s the very last person he’d ever like to snap at, especially since he’s angry on her behalf.

That Williams… how petty can a so-called man be? A few comments about the War of Extermination, and he’s decided to make her life hell. The worst part? He didn’t even have to try hard. All he had to do was ask around, find out why she was really sent here. A few people down the line, that truth has spiralled out of control, so much now that it’s almost impossible for him to find the original truth within the bullshit.

Coffee done at last, Miles takes a deep gulp, ignoring how much it burns his mouth. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, much like all he’s heard.

She fucked a superior officer. That’s the gist of everything he’s heard, but he’s not stupid enough to think that’s the whole story. No, he knows there’s more to it than that.

In his mind, and after what he’s heard, there’s three potential reasons. Either she and the man in question were lovers, she was only sleeping with him to advance her career, or he forced himself on a subordinate.

Miles knows already that it’s not the first. They’ve spoken at length about personal things, and she’s told him that it’s been a few years since she had someone like that in her life. While she could be lying, he’s sure that she’s not; she’s an honest person, almost brutally so at times. She wouldn’t sit here with him and lie to his face like that. She’s a better person than that.

He’s not willing to consider that second one. She wouldn’t do that. She doesn’t need to for starters. Being herself has already earned her respect from Armstrong, with the Major General placing her in Miles’ care because she thinks she’s better than being stuck at the bottom rung her whole career. Unless she’s knocking off Armstrong, she earned that all herself. Besides, if she really wanted into his bed, she’d be trying a lot harder, surely. She’s made no indication that she wants anything other than friendship from him (something that makes Miles a little sad if he’s being honest). He’d never think so little of her that he’d assume that’s the reason she’s always so friendly towards him.

That only leaves one option; some bastard commander took advantage of her.

Miles doesn’t know who he’s more furious with; the commander in question, or himself. That piece of shit abused his position to coerce a truly wonderful woman into warming his bed, but isn’t Miles just as bad? Hasn’t Miles been indulging her in just about every way he can think of just to earn her favour?

Slamming his cup onto his desk, Miles groans. Why did this have to be her big secret? He almost hopes he’s wrong, that she’s getting close to him because she wants a promotion. At least then they’d both be as shitty as each other.

No, Miles thinks aggressively, this isn’t the same thing. He’s not interested in just sex, not anymore. He has too many feelings mixed in now. It can never be ‘just sex’ now. Sure, he could be like that bastard, order her into his bed, but it would feel hollow. He wants so much more than that. So, so much more than that.

In all his years, Miles isn’t sure he’s ever wanted to hurt someone more than he wants to hurt the unknown officer. How could he do this to her? His friend, the woman he-

No, he can’t say it. Not even in his mind. He has no right to feel that way about her, especially not now. He won’t be that man. He won’t make her uncomfortable by feeling that way. After all, he’d already decided that he’s happy being friends. 

Even if he has to ignore the ache in his chest that he gets every time he thinks of her.

A knock on the door interrupts his maudlin; whoever it is, they’re the master of bad timing.

Still, he can’t exactly tell them to fuck off; he has a job to do.

Taking a deep breath, Miles calls out. ‘Come in!’ Whatever it is, it had better be quick; he’s got brooding to do…

The door opens slowly and awkwardly, before a figure comes shuffling into view; the one figure he was certain he wouldn’t be seeing today.

She smiles at him, and his heart stops when he notices why she found opening the door so difficult; she’s carrying two trays of food.

Her voice is cheerful, and it lifts his soul. ‘Hey. Buc let me off early, so I went to the mess to find you. They told me you’d not eaten yet, so I thought I’d bring it to you. I’m glad I found you before you went to get it yourself.’ How is he supposed to stop feeling this way when she keeps doing things like this? What he wouldn’t give to have met her any other way, like in a bar or on the street. Any other circumstance where he could have asked her out without consequence.

In spite of his bad mood, Miles can’t help but smile. ‘That was considerate of you, though I don’t have much of an appetite right now. It’s been a long morning.’ How could anyone think that this woman would seduce someone for gain? For all of her abrasiveness, she can be so very soft at times…

Her smile doesn’t falter. ‘Well then, I guess I’ll have to eat mine without you. You don’t mind if I keep you company though, right?’ Why can’t she be an asshole? Why isn’t she just using him? Why does she have to be such a good friend?

Miles sighs. ‘Pass me the damn tray then. We’ll eat together. Though if Buc’s done with you, does that mean I can steal you for paperwork?’ He just wants to be near here, just for a while. Just to calm himself down.

Placing both trays on the desk, the woman hums. ‘Well, technically Buc gave me the day off, but if you’re willing to provide me with coffee, I might reconsider.’ She’d do that for him? Or is that because he’s a commanding officer? But then why didn’t she call him ‘Sir’?

Still, Miles isn’t about to ask her any of that, instead remembering his earlier slip up. ‘There’s one already half-made for you. Force of habit I guess.’ Miles swear he can hear her heart beating faster for a moment, but he knows it’s just his imagination; even if he did make her heart race, he’d never be able to hear it like that.

She nods at him. ‘Thanks Miles. Still, I’m not surprised you’re in that habit. I can’t imagine drinking coffee by myself anymore.’ She wouldn’t have to, if Miles had his way. They’d both just sit and talk and drink coffee until they grew old. Even then, he’s not sure he’d get bored of her. Why does it have to be like this? Why can’t he just tell her how he feels without any complications?

Ultimately, he supposes they really don’t know much about each other anyhow. She doesn’t even know about his ethnicity, as much as he’s been thinking of just telling her. After all, if he was her, he’d never tell anyone his secret. They’ll be at a stalemate forever if Miles doesn’t show his hand first.

But now isn’t the time. For now, he should just enjoy having lunch with the woman-

He should just enjoy having lunch with good company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, the next chapter will be up tomorrow. Thank you for reading ^.^


	8. Sweet True Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings!
> 
> Well, as promised, here’s the second of the chapters I wrote while away. I couldn’t think of a name, so I’m using a slightly altered song title :P
> 
> Anyhow, enjoy ^.^

Even if it’s been a month now since Miles went off by himself to investigate the rumour, you still feel on edge about it. 

He’s not mentioned anything to you, but you know he must have heard the same rumours Buc has. Is he just not mentioning them in an attempt to spare your feelings? Or maybe Buc already had a word with him, so the matter is closed as far as he’s concerned? You just wish you knew where you stand in this situation… 

Well, for now at least, you’re not stood at all. You’re sat quite comfortably opposite Miles, enjoying your weekly coffee time. While today hasn’t been the most stressful of shifts (rather routine as it goes), it’s still nice to unwind of an evening with your favourite member of the Briggs crew (you’re never telling Buc you thought that). 

On this evenings agenda of chat? Previous pets. Random, but it’s definitely entertaining hearing about Miles and his goldfish.

Speaking of which, the man in question is currently chuckling away, telling you about his memories. ‘So I- and please remember that I was only four- decided that it would be a nice idea to take the fish for a walk. So I got some string, tied it around my goldfish’s neck, and put it on the floor so I could walk it around my bedroom.’ No matter what he’s like now, Miles must have been a sadistic child!

You tell him as much, but he just shakes his head. ‘I didn’t know that fish couldn’t breathe outside the water! I always assumed they were just really good at holding their breaths, and that my fish was flailing around on the floor because he was trying to walk without legs! Thankfully, my mum walked in about ten seconds later, put the fish back in the tank, and gave me the sternest lecture I’ve ever received. I’ve never harmed a fish since, intentionally or otherwise.’ You smile as the image of four year old Miles comes into your head, fighting back tears as he finds out he almost killed his beloved Goldie. He must have been an adorable child for sure…

You smile fondly. ‘That’s quite a memory you have there. The only memory I have of being four is the time I peed in my doll’s fake potty and blamed it on the dog.’ 

Miles’ eyebrows raise. ‘You did what now?’ Oh dear. Couldn’t have picked anything less embarrassing?

You blush furiously. ‘It was my sister’s fault! She’d been hogging the bathroom for ages, and I was desperate. So I just thought ‘well, a potty is basically a toilet, even if it is for dolls,’ so I went for it. Of course, I peed so much it all spilled over the sides. I was going to come clean, but my mum looked so angry, I was scared of what she’d do. So I lied. The dog had to sleep outside for a week, but I think I got away with it.’ Poor Buddy, the look of betrayal he gave you that night…

Miles laughs harder than before. ‘Fucking hell. Alright, you win this round of ‘most messed up pet stories’. I’ll have to think of something pretty weird to top that.’ You almost hope he has something; it’ll make you feel less embarrassed about your story.

You’re about to ask what game he’d like to play next, but you’re interrupted when the door behind you opens suddenly, a gust of pure fury sweeping through. It’s only when you look back that you realise why that is; it’s Armstrong that’s just walked in, and she’s not happy.

Her scowl, directed straight at Miles, is lethal. ‘Miles! I thought I ordered you to deal with the rumours!’ Oh, so they do still exist then? Oh joy…

Miles looks flustered, his eyes darting between you and Armstrong. ‘Can we talk about this outside?’ His gaze becomes pointed towards you, and it becomes clear; the reason he’s not mentioned the rumours to you must be because he’s trying to shelter you from them! That’s… well, you don’t know how to feel about that really. It’s not like you’re some child that needs to be protected from the playground bullies…

Armstrong scoffs. ‘No, we can’t. You know she has a right to know that the rumours are about her. Hell, she’s probably heard them all already.’ More than one by now, in fact.

You nod in agreement. ‘Which ones, sir? The one where I’ve been involved with a drug ring, or the one where I’m a Drachman prostitute in disguise?’ If some of the rumours you’ve heard weren’t close to the truth, they’d be hilarious.

Armstrong crosses her arms. ‘I mean the one where you fucked a senior officer.’ Ah, yes. The one that Buc mentioned. The one that has a sliver of truth to it…

You let out a sigh. ‘I promise you both, it’s not what you think it is.’ Maybe if you just explained, told them the truth, you could get out of this.

Miles speaks before you can add anything. ‘Look, we’re both willing to accept that, or I am at least. It’s just hard trying to keep a lid on other people’s opinions. If it was just Williams on his own then-‘

Armstrong cuts him off. ‘That snot? He’s the one that started this? I’ll string him up!’ She looks like she’s about to do just that, so you stand, motioning her to stop. 

‘It won’t make a difference. He might have started the rumours, but he doesn’t control them anymore. Other people have added to them, and now they’re snowballing out of control. The only way to get them to stop would either be for me to leave, or at the very least, for you to pair me with someone other than Miles…’ The thought makes your heart plummet. You don’t want to sacrifice your friendship because some assholes can’t keep shut about things that don’t matter, but you might have not no choice. 

Now that you’ve said that, maybe Armstrong will make it so you have no choice at all.

For some reason, your response only seems to add fuel to Armstrong’s fire. ‘What, so you’re just going to get on your knees and lick their asses? I thought you had a spine! Maybe you aren’t strong enough to stick it at Briggs!’ She looks like she’ll fight you with her bare hands at this rate, but you refuse to back down; the one person you can’t show any weakness to is Armstrong.

So you clench your fists, and grit your teeth. ‘Oh yeah? You don’t think I’m strong enough to stick it out? You’re not the one getting called a whore several times a day just because you communicate with the opposite sex! You’re not the one who was forced out here for standing up for yourself! Every fucking day is a challenge, but I don’t sit on my ass crying about how shitty my situation is! You could have put me on the shittiest job, in the shittiest part of this frozen wall fortress, and I’d have still stuck it out! In fact, I suggest you do that. Send me down to scrape polar bear shit off the walls or something, just so people know you’re not playing favourites, because otherwise, everyone is going to think I’m fucking Miles for personal gain, when in truth, I’d rather eat polar bear shit than do something that manipulative, and I think you should fucking well know that, Sir!’ Without realising, you’ve been inching closer to Armstrong as you spoke, and now you’re practically pressing her against the wall, faces mere inches away.

Instead of trying to inch herself away, Armstrong takes a step forward, giving you no choice back to back away; you make sure to keep your posture straight and on edge, making it clear that this is the farthest you’re willing to budge on this.

After a few tense moments, Armstrong finally smirks. ‘Now there’s my feisty solider. I’m going to forget your request for a change of position for now. In fact, I’m going to make your position as Miles’ right-hand widely known. There might even be a shiny new title with that, if you’re lucky. For now, I’m going to let Miles talk some sense into you, and if that fails, he has my permission to bend you over his knee and spank you like a petulant child.’ With that she leaves, slamming the door behind her. You think she might have winked at Miles as she did… does she have feelings for him, too?! Buc seemed to suggest she’s a lesbian! This can’t get any worse!

When you look back at Miles, his face is unreadable. ‘So, had enough of me, have you?’ You want him so desperately to be joking around with you, but something about him makes you think that he’s truly hurt by the idea that you no longer value his company.

You shake your head so fast it’s almost violent. ‘That isn’t it at all, but you are the reason I’d do it. I don’t want you to be constantly berated by Armstrong for something I can fix. It isn’t fair. Besides, if you do keep looking into them, you’ll find out what happened, and I don’t want to watch our friendship die when you do.’ If he even believes you; the truth sounds unbelievable even to you sometimes…

Miles sighs. ‘You don’t have to protect me. That should be my job. I- well, I want it to be my job. To continue being my job I should say. 

‘Also, that last part is bullshit; our friendship is even more solid than Briggs itself. So why don’t you walk over to the window with me so I can show you something?’ He… what does he want to show you that involves looking out the window?

Still, as it’s him, you’ll play along with it; there’s few things you wouldn’t do for Miles.

When you reach the window, Miles turns off all the lights so you can see outside clearly. 

What you see doesn’t surprise you at all.

It’s dark outside, but you can still make out that it’s snowing heavily. Why is this such an important view?

Miles comes to stand next to you, and you have to remind your heart to beat when he places a hand on your shoulder. ‘I want you to imagine that each of these snowflakes is a rumour or an opinion. Can you do that for me?’ What’s he playing at here? This is bizarre…

But just because it’s him, you nod. ‘Excellent. You see, on its own, a snowflake seems insignificant. If one lands on you, you can simply brush it off. You can walk through light snowfall with ease, to the point where some people actually find it enjoyable, or at least accept it as a part of life. Some people even ignore the snow, if it’s not directly impacting them.

‘It’s only when the snowflakes group together, and settle onto the ground, that people notice. Some people continue life as normal, but some people get crippled by it. Some people even take the opportunity to have fun in the snow, and relish it’s arrival, but there’s one thing that reminds the same; the snow always melts.

‘A small rumour is easy to go undetected, and one person’s opinion holds little weight. Yet when you have a group of people spreading the same rumour, or the same opinion, people take notice. The rumours and opinions gain traction, and everyone and their mothers has some kind of feelings towards them. But just like the snow, if you only wait long enough, they too will melt into obscurity.’ You have to fight the urge to cry. You never knew Miles could be quite so… profound, almost.

Out of habit, you chuckle nervously, and find the fault in his logic. ‘We live somewhere permanently covered in show. Nothing ever melts up this far north.’ You can imagine that this place is a dream for children; snowball fights all year around.

Miles chuckles too. ‘That just means it easier for me to hide the bodies of all the men I’m going to kill if they don’t stop mistreating you.’ You both look at each other for a long, tense moment, before…

You both burst out laughing, louder than you ever have before.

It quickly descends into near hysterics, to the point where you have to grab onto Miles’ shirt to keep from falling to your knees from laughing too hard. Miles isn’t faring any better, grabbing both your waist and your shoulder for support. 

It’s only when your head starts to hurt that you try to calm down, taking deep breaths. Miles does the same, trying to breath in time with you.

It’s only when you calm down that you realise your position is almost… intimate. You can feel time grinding to a standstill, and your earlier blush slowly comes back, though this time, it’s for a totally different reason.

Trying to distract yourself, you think back to his earlier comparison. ‘Why are you so wise when it comes to rumours and opinions? Have you even been on the wrong end of them?’ Miles’ fingers twitch, and you know you’ve hit a nerve; you just don’t have it in to you take it back. Then again, if you recall, Buc did say there was something holding Miles back when it came to dating. Is it the same thing that’s pained him in other ways?

You can feel his hands trembling now, but Miles’ voice shows no hint of fear. ‘If you take off my goggles, it’ll all make sense.’ He’d let you do that? But why? 

You shake your head. ‘If I do that, I’ll have to tell you my secret, and I don’t know if I can do that just yet.’ You want to. There’s a part of you that believes he won’t hate you for it. But you’re not certain, and that’s what really scares you.

Miles smiles so gently it breaks your heart for a moment. ‘No you won’t. I don’t want you to. Not until you want to tell me. I just don’t want to hide from you anymore. You need to decide for yourself if our friendship is even worth keeping alive.’ 

You bite your lip. ‘I thought our friendship was even more solid than Briggs?’ A stupid analogy; Briggs is cold, but Miles is always so warm…

You swear Miles trembles just a little more. ‘Than I suppose my secret is Drachma, come to tear it apart. Just… please take my goggles off.’ When he says it like that, it almost feels like an order; it’s not his rank that compels you to obey.

Raising both hands to his eyes, you gently push his goggles up, trying to make out his features in the dim light. As if on queue, the moon seems to illuminate the whole room, given you a clear view of Miles’ eyes. It takes you a moment to think of what he could mean; they look normal to you. It’s only when you catch a glimpse of crimson in the dark that you finally piece together what he means.

He’s Ishvalan.

But how? You thought Ishvalans weren’t allowed to serve in the Amestrian military anymore? They were all purged when the war began. Unless…

Of course. The story with his grandfather. That’s why he had to elope with the woman he loved; her parents wouldn’t have accepted her marrying an Ishvalan. That means that Miles is only quarter Ishvalan, despite his features; his grandfather’s genes must be incredibly strong.

It occurs to you that Miles is waiting for you to say something, but you’re not sure what. Does he need to hear that you don’t care about race? That he’s still your friend? That this changes nothing? Because that last one is a lie; seeing him like this changes everything.

As you look deep into his moonlit eyes, you feel yourself admit the one thing you’ve tried so hard to hide; you’ve fallen in love with him. Between all your public patrols and private coffees, and all the things he’s told you, he’s pulled your heart towards his own, with so much power you’re not sure if you’ll ever get it back whole. You’ve never seen anybody look so perfect, and if you could save a single image in your mind, this is the one you’d choose. 

So despite yourself, and despite the situation you’re in, you let your heart speak for you. ‘They’re beautiful, Miles.’ His breath hitches, and you’re not sure if it’s because he’s surprised, or because he’s discovered the sentiment laced in your words.

Miles furrows his brow, a gesture that seems so much more animated now that you can see his eyes. ‘My race doesn’t bother you? Even though you know the stigma that could come of having a friend like me?’ He thinks you care about that? The fool. The beautiful fool…

You keep your hands on his face, making sure he can’t look away. ‘If you can accept having me as friend after all the rumours you’ve heard, I can accept you as you are. Besides, I think a part of me has always known. I can’t imagine there’s many younger men with dark skin and white hair that aren’t Ishvalan. But it doesn’t bother me. It’s just as you said, you see; just like the snow, some day the negative options about your people will melt away. Personally, I’ve always been the kind to never let a blizzard phase them.’ You take your hands away from him them, trying to break the physical connection. If you don’t, you’re scared you might lean in for a kiss, and that would be sure to kill the moment; the last thing Miles needs is your feelings piled on top of his own.

Miles moves his arms around you, wrapping you into a fierce hug before murmuring ‘Thank you,’ into your hair. 

When you’re finally released for the hug, you feel awkward, but you’re not sure why. Maybe it’s the unspoken tension you’re sure you can feel? After all, you’re sure your feelings must be pouring out of your very soul right now, whether or not Miles can actually feel them.

Then you realise what it is. 

This moment should make you both feel uplifted, two friends finally unloading their burdens. But you still have yours. Miles has trusted you with his secret, but you can’t do the same? What kind of friend does that make you?

With a heavy heart and a deep breath, you prepare to toss your heart at his feet, ready to feel him crush it beneath his feet.

‘He always said it was my eyes that drew him in.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two down, and I think four to go? I don’t really remember…
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading ^.^


	9. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yellow,
> 
> Day three ^.^ another chapter! Time for the truth to come out…
> 
> Hope you enjoy it :)

‘He always said it was my eyes that drew him in.’

Miles looks confused, and you don’t blame him; it seems like such a random statement.

Time to clarify a few things then. ‘He was my commanding officer all throughout my training. An older man, late fifties I think, who constantly complained about having to train new soldiers rather than being on the frontlines. Said he’d give anything for the chance to go out and fight again.’ Just thinking about him makes your skin crawl, but you have to do this; Miles needs to know the truth.

Finally understanding, Miles shakes his head. ‘I already told you, you don’t owe me this. If you’re not ready to talk…’

You cut him off. ‘I am. To you. Only to you.’ You trust him to keep this a secret, even if he’s disgusted with you.

Miles nods. ‘Alright. Come with me.’ He heads off towards his bedroom, and your heart beat fails again; why does he want you in there?

Once you’re in there, it all makes sense; you’d forgotten about his sofa. 

Miles sits first, gesturing for you to join him. You do so hesitantly, trying to keep your distance from his despite the close proximity; you think you’ll burst into flames if your bodies touch again.

That doesn’t stop Miles placing a hand on your shoulder though, his voice low and warm. ‘Alright, speak whenever you’re ready.’ Will you ever be truly ready for this? It seems unlikely, but you have little choice now that you’ve agreed to it.

Swallowing hard, you continue your story. ‘My first mistake was drawing attention to myself. He said something about another recruit that I didn’t like, and I told him as much. He laughed in my face, told me that he wasn’t about to listen to some woman. He made my life hell for a while, gave me all the worst jobs so I’d quit. I didn’t though. I did everything he asked with no complaint. Took him a month to realise I wasn’t some frail little woman that was going to break after some hard work. He gave up after that, and for a while, life went back to normal.

‘Months went by, and we had barely any contact with each other. I made a few friends amongst the cadets, and things started to go well. I was achieving top marks in just about everything. That was my second mistake.’ If you’d only known what it would cause, you’d have deliberately started throwing marks away…

Closing your eyes, you continue. ‘When he looked at my grades, he remembered who I was. He insisted that he train me personally, making sure that I kept it up. He planned to show me off I think, prove that he still had worth. We spent a lot of time together he and I, and over time, my feelings towards him changed. With only a few months left of my training, I realised that I hated him. Loathed him. That he was the most dreadful human being I’d ever met. All I’d ever hear was how much he hated…’ you look at Miles, unsure if you should continue. He gives your shoulder an encouraging squeeze, so you do. ‘He was the worst kind of racist. He’d try to encourage others to be as horrid as him, and God help any Ishvalans that came into his view. He kept trying to drag me into his cesspool of opinions, but I refused. I grew up around people just like him, so I know how to drown them out. The flirting was the hardest thing to ignore.

‘He was… relentless. Constant comments about my body, my gender, the things he’d expect of me if I were his wife. It made me sick, but I was scared that if I reported him, that was it. They’d take his side, and I’d be kicked out of the military. Keeping quiet was my final mistake, and it’s the reason I’m here now. 

‘It was a few weeks before graduation. He called me to his private room one night, under the pretence of helping me go through a few things. I shouldn’t have gone. Every single part of me was screaming that it was unsafe, that I would regret it, but I went anyway. I wish I hadn’t. It was a stupid, stupid mistake…’ You can feel the tears pricking at your eyes, but you won’t cry. You won’t. You won’t give him the satisfaction of tears.

Miles wraps his arm around you instead, pulling you close. His voice doesn’t sound like it normally does; it’s flat. ‘Did he rape you?’ His arm is shaking now, and you wonder if he’s angry at you for being so stupid.

Despite trying so hard to keep them in, your tears finally spill over. ‘He tried. He tried to get me drunk, but I refused. I kept telling him I had to leave soon, but he ignored me. It wasn’t until I tried to walk out that he grabbed me. I was so shocked I couldn’t move. He pinned me to the bed, and he started tearing my clothes off. He…’ You choke on a sob. ‘He kept telling me that I’d be rewarded. That he’d make sure I was promoted. I’d have an easy career. All I had to do was stay still and let him…’ The sobs take hold of you, and you need to take a moment to try and breathe.

Miles tries his best to comfort you, cradling you against his chest with both his arms around you. ‘You don’t have to say anything else. I shouldn’t have asked you to relive it. I’m so desperately sorry.’ When he places his head over your own, you’re sure you can feel a warm tear drip into your hair.

The firm arms now holding you give you the strength to finish. ‘I kicked him. As he tore my shirt in two, and aimed for my bra, I kicked him as hard as I could right in the groan. As soon as he faltered, I pushed him off of me, and ran as fast as I could back to the barracks. I was shaking and terrified, but because it was late by then, there was no one to comfort me. I told myself I’d tell someone the next day, but I couldn’t. It would be his word against mine, and I’d have lost.

‘I thought that would be the end of it. Then the rumours started. Everyone knew I’d been to see him that night, but no one saw me get back. They started to whisper that I’d been sleeping with him, that I was doing it for an easy jumpstart on my career. When he heard the rumours, he didn’t do anything to stop them; instead, he all but confirmed them, making sly comments about my body, and the things I let him do to me. Within a month, everyone thought that I was a whore, that I’d let him…’ You take one final deep breath. ‘The man I punched only said what everyone else was thinking. I stumbled slightly during an exercise, so he came up to me and said ‘It’s just as well you’ve been spreading your legs; I doubt they’d take you far otherwise.’ So I lashed out. I hit him with all of the rage I had building inside of me. It’s no wonder his nose broke.

‘I think they wanted to get rid of me after that, but the officer who tried to assault me was the one that got me sent here instead. I think I was concerned that, if I had nothing else to lose, I’d tell them everything about what happened that night. Combined with the rumours, he would have at least been brought to trail over it, which would have left a stain on his career even if he was found innocent. 

‘So there it is. That’s why I’m here. That’s what I did to get myself sent here. I’m sorry if I you hate me for that, and for being so weak.’ You were weak. You didn’t act like the strong person everyone here seems to think you are. If it was Armstrong in your position, she would have killed him before he could touch her. It’s pathetic, and you know Miles will think less of you for it…

When Miles talks again, his voice is flat again. ‘Why aren’t you afraid of me?’ Why would you be? Is he glossing over your past to bring back his own issues? That doesn’t sound like him at all.

You look at him questioningly, tears still in your eyes, so he continues. ‘We’ve been alone together constantly for six months. You spend more time around me than anyone else. You accepted an invitation to drink with me privately. We meet privately for a coffee every week now. So why aren’t you scared that I’ll do the same thing?’ He makes a fair point. You can see where he’s coming from.

You wipe away a stray tear as you come up with an answer. ‘I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because I know that, if you did do anything, I could tell Armstrong, and she’d take my side. Maybe it’s because I wouldn’t freeze a second time, and I’d do serious damage if you hurt me. But more than anything, I think it’s because there’s a part of me that trusts you completely. You’ve never once given me any reason to think you’d abuse me or your position. You’re always so reasonable and considerate, even under pressure, and you’ve never said anything to make me feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Even when we got drunk, and I… I tried to undress you because I spilled whiskey all over your lap, you didn’t do anything. You pushed me away. You could have done anything you wanted, blamed it on the booze, but you didn’t. You’re not the man that tried to assault me. You’re Miles, and you’re my friend.’ And you love him, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Miles brings his hands to your eyes, wiping away the last of your tears. ‘How could I ever be angry at someone who trusts me after all they’ve suffered? You’re the victim in all of this, but you’ve never let it beat you. If you’re weak, then I don’t know what strength is at all, because managing to overcome something like that, to keep on pushing forwards, even as the past begins to creep back in… that to me sounds like the greatest strength imaginable. Never call yourself weak, and never think that I’d hate you. I care about you too much to watch you cry over me, or anyone else.’ He brings you back in close, and your tears return, dampening his shirt.

When he thinks you’ve calmed down a little, Miles speaks to you softly. ‘Would you like to stay with me tonight? I don’t like the thought of you being on your own right now.’ You should refuse him. It’ll only make things awkward tomorrow when you’re less emotional.

Yet being here, in his arms, the warmth of his body still there even through layers of clothes, makes you feel so safe and secure that you think maybe you can be selfish, only if for an evening.

Shifting yourself onto Miles’ lap, you cling to him, relived when all he does is hold you closer. ‘Would you hold me for a while? Until I feel better?’ The words sound alien and pathetic, and you wonder if you are as strong as he thinks you are.

Without a word, Miles scoops you up and stands, walking over to his bed. Managing to pull the duvet away, he slides you both underneath it, before settling you against his chest so he can use one of his arms to pull it up over you both. You snuggle into his side, your face on his chest, and he cradled you again, gently stroking your hair.

His voice is little above a whisper. ‘Sleep if you can. You’re safe in here with me. I’ll never let anyone hurt you like that again.’ You believe him too; above all else, Miles is a good man.

Your eyes grow heavy as you snuggle into Miles, his steady heartbeat sending you off into a dreamless sleep.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Miles says awake long after the woman in his arms loses consciousness. His thoughts are reeling with everything that’s happened tonight.

The things she told him make Miles feel sick. That anyone tried to hurt her, that anyone did hurt her, in such a despicable way makes his blood burn. How could they take advantage like that? For all he’s done to bring them closer, Miles knows he’s not the same now. He would never do anything like that in a million years. If he’s been tormenting himself over what would happen if he kissed her, then the thought of trying to-

Miles could kill. He would kill. If he had a name, and a way to find him, he’d kill him. If he tried it with her, who’s to say he’s not tried it with other women too? How many other woman has he hurt? How many has he taken under his twisted wings?

How many women couldn’t fight back?

A small noise distracts Miles from his thoughts; it sounds suspiciously like a snore. 

Sure enough, the woman in his arms is snoring softly, now deep in sleep. She looks so serene, all worries from moments ago lost to sleep. He likes that look on her a lot. It’s nice to see her looking so peaceful and calm, her usual fire currently embers in her mind. The duality is breathtaking, now that he thinks of it. So many parts to one person, and he’s had a chance to see some of them at least. He doubts that there are many people who have ever seen her like this. He feels honoured that she’d let him be one of them.

He couldn’t send her away tonight. He couldn’t bring himself to do that. Even if it meant sleeping on the sofa, he wouldn’t have cared at all. She shouldn’t be alone tonight, not when she’s so vulnerable. 

His invitation seems selfish now; if he knew it involved getting to hold her like this, he might not have offered. This was supposed to make her feel better, not indulge his desire to be close to her. Then again, she was the one that explicitly asked him to hold her…

As long as it makes her feel better, Miles’ own thoughts and feelings mean nothing. 

Well, that’s not true. Not anymore. Right now, his feelings have never been clearer, especially after what he said to him.

Miles is used to losing friends once they find out the truth about him. He’s used to watching kindness turn to hatred, to watching women who claimed to love him turn away in disgust. He’d excepted to have to beg, to convince her that it changes nothing. 

Then she called his eyes beautiful, and Miles decided then and there that he loves her.

He won’t deny it anymore. He’ll never deny it again. He’s totally in love with her, even more so after tonight.

If she hadn’t pulled away, Miles would have kissed her.

As it was, he’s glad she let her hug him; it was an amazing hug. Her body fits so perfectly in his arms, like she’s meant to be there. He would have hugged her forever if he could have.

Then again, holding her like this is basically the same thing.

Her calmness is making him tired, but he wants to fight it just for a moment more. Just long enough that he’ll have the feeling of her sleeping in his arms burned into his mind forever. 

He’ll never get to feel this again.

As much as he loves her, it doesn’t matter. They’ll never be together, not as lovers. He might be willing to admit it to himself, but not her. She doesn’t need a lover. She needs a friend. Someone who can be her friend no matter what. What better friend than a man who loves her? Than a man who only wants the best for her? Sure, that means that one day, she’ll find someone else, but he can live with that. As long as he treats her just as she deserves…

Unless she loves him too. God, he hopes she does.

Miles would jump at the chance to be more than friends. After all, even if they were lovers, he’d still be her friend. That’s how all the best relationships are. Even if they’d have to hide it, he’d be good to her. He’d do whatever he could to make her happy. She deserves it.

As the weight on his chest snuggles ever closer, Miles finally succumbs to sleep himself.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Moving swiftly down the familiar halls of Briggs, it doesn’t take Armstrong long to reach her next destination. 

She doesn’t bother knocking again; she knows he’s in.

Armstrong finds her target just as expected; polishing his automail arm.

Buc looks up at her with a grin. ‘Well? Do we have the lovebirds nesting yet?’ Armstrong rolls her eyes at that; what a ridiculous metaphor.

Still, she smirks. ‘They’re having a heart-to-heart.’ With any luck, they’ll both get things off their chests… and perhaps other areas.

Buc barks his usual laugh. ‘Ha! Miles’ll be balls deep within the hour. Nothing quite like shared emotions to get the blood pumping. We should block off the area, make sure they’re not interrupted. They’ll probably be up all night, if it’s true what they say about Ishvalans…’ That’s not something Armstrong wants to think about; the less she thinks of Miles’ genitals, the better.

Despite herself, Armstrong laughs a little too. ‘Provided that she’s not put off by that, of course.’ If she is, Armstrong might have to take her over her lap and spank her like a petulant child… a far more pleasant though than Miles’ junk.

Buc shakes his head. ‘Nah, we’re good. You didn’t hear what she said about him last month. She’s got it bad, and I know Miles does too. Aw, we could have our first Briggs baby nine month from now!’

Armstrong grimaces. ‘If I find out Miles has gotten her pregnant, I’ll kill him. I’m not having a baby in my fortress!’ It would be impossible to hide, if anyone came to inspect them…

Buc laughs heartily. ‘Relax, it was a joke. They’re both too sensible to do that. Oo, I know! Maybe I’ll get Miles a little gift next time I’m on leave. What do you think, extra large?’ Why is this entire conversation about the one thing Armstrong doesn’t want to hear about?!

With a dismissive flick of her hand, Armstrong changes the subject. ‘You want to get him a present? William’s head will do nicely. Miles has him as the root cause of all the rumours about his new bedmate.’ Armstrong will have to fix it so her absence in the barracks isn’t noticed; perhaps a room of her own?

Buc flexes his arm. ‘Oh yeah? You want me to put the fear of God into snotwipe, huh? Consider it done. I think I’ll take a little walk…’ he stands, flexing his artificial claws with ease.

Armstrong raises her eyes brows in faux surprise. ‘At this time of night? Not like you to do something like that. I hope you don’t scare anyone; I would hate for one of our soldiers to have some kind of sense spooked into them.’ If anyone could scare someone into submission, it’s Buc…

The two leave the room together, but go their separate ways; Armstrong has things of her own to arrange.

She just hope Buc doesn’t go too far; Williams has become quite capable at cleaning toilets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thanks to my continued work, there is now four to go from right now! So yeah, until tomorrow, thanks for reading ^.^


	10. Winter Winds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo!
> 
> WARNING! We are now at the E-rating stage of this fic. Given that I changed the rating a while ago, I’m sure you’re all on-board, but I thought I’d tell you ;3
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

This isn’t your first morning waking up in Miles’ room, but at least this time you remember the events leading up to it.

Miles knows everything now. The whole reason you’re here. You finally decided to confide in him.

And he accepted it.

He didn’t think to question if you were telling the truth. He didn’t accuse you of covering your tracks. He just listened to you, and held you as you cried. He even accepted your request to be held. 

He’s still holding you, in fact.

It looks like neither of you moved at all in the night; you still have your head against his chest.

Miles is breathing steadily, so you’re pretty sure he’s still asleep. Deciding to check, you carefully lift your head up, looking at Miles’ face.

He looks so calm when he’s sleeping. The worry lines you’re sure you can see sometimes aren’t present right now. It helps too that he didn’t put his goggles back on; being able to see his eyes opens up an entire new range of emotions, even if they are still closed.

Well, at least now that you’re seeing him in daylight, you know one of the things you learned last night is true; he’s so much more handsome with his full face on display.

Not that he’s not always been the best-looking man in Briggs; hell, he could well be the best-looking man in the whole country. You’ve never seen anyone better, at least. 

As if he can tell you’re staring at him, Miles’ eyes slowly flutter open, his head tiling so he can look at you. ‘Morning. How are you feeling?’ His red eyes are more striking than ever in the morning light, but they’re just as beautiful as they were in the moonlight; perhaps you should save both images away in your brain? Day and night Miles… 

Remembering that he asked a question, you smile. ‘Like a new person. Thank you for listening last night. It’s a relief I think, getting all of that off my chest. Thank you for listening to me without… thank you, Miles.’ You hope he knows what you mean; you don’t want to mention the other possibilities the night may have brought.

Miles smiles right back. ‘Anytime. You’re always welcome to an ear, or a shoulder to cry on. Whatever you need, I have you covered. You have my word on that.’ It always means so much when Miles says such sweet things; it gives your heart a hope, as fleeting as it might be.

Squeezing him tightly just for a moment, you sit up, stretching casually. You slept in full uniform again last night, but you’re almost glad of that; it would be so much harder to tear yourself away if you had to do so from his bare flesh. 

Miles sits up with you, drawing you into another hug. ‘I’m not the only one who should be collecting thanks. I’ve never met anyone so accepting of who I am. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for not turning your back on me now you know the truth.’ As if you’d let race affect things between you. He’s still Miles. He’ll always be Miles…

Still, you need to stop with the sentiment; if you don’t, you’ll only end up taking things too far. ‘If you really want to thank me, you can make us both a coffee. I think crying last night drained my energy. Oh, and if Armstrong asks, just tell her we stayed up late talking, and you didn’t want to send me back just in case I was ambushed or something. So again, you took the sofa. I don’t want her to know how much I cried…’ She’d probably beat the shit out of you for weakness, or give you something to cry about…

Miles slips out from behind you, chuckling slightly. ‘It’s our little secret, I promise. It’s none of her business, anyway; this was a personal matter that you chose to share with a friend. Chain of command has nothing to do with it.’ You wish you had shared it with a lover, but at least he won’t tell anyone…

As soon as Miles leaves the room, you jump out of bed, surprised at how uplifted you feel. You’re sure there’s a spring in your step today, and you know Miles is the reason for that. You feel like a new person, a person full of life and vigour. Today can kiss your ass, because you’re not going to surrender to anyone today. Nothing will dampen your mood!

By the time you make it to Miles’ office, two other people have arrived in your absence; Armstrong and Buc.

You’re about to stutter out your excuse for staying the night, but Armstrong cuts you off. ‘We have a situation. Williams has gone AWOL.’ He’s done what? Why?!

Miles, who has his arms folded and eyebrows furrowed, takes in her words. ‘When did he leave? Do we know where he’s going?’ There’s only so many places you can go in Briggs; the main one involves several walls of snow.

Buc rubs his neck nervously. ‘It’s probably my fault. Armstrong told me that the rumours are still going on, so I went to intimidate him. I think I did it too well. We have reason to believe he left in the small hours of the morning, and is en-route to a nearby town. The only probably we have is that there’s a blizzard due soon; while he needs to answer for desertion, we can’t leave him out to die, as shitty as he is.’ He’s right. Piece of shit or no, no one deserves to die in the cold; lose a couple of extremities, maybe, but death is too far.

Miles seems to jump ahead of Buc’s word. ‘You want us to search for him?’ Out there, in a blizzard? Isn’t that taking a massive risk?

Armstrong nods. ‘Yeah, I do. You’re the one who has the most experience in this, Miles. I’d send you out with a full team, but there’s no time. Besides, I don’t want to risk more men than I need to. I’ll have to ask the two of you to go instead.’ This is dangerous. You’re not stupid. She’s asking you both to risk death for someone you dislike!

Still, an order is an order, so you nod. ‘I understand, sir. Miles and I will do it. If you’re okay with that, sir?’ You blush, remembering that this is a work situation, and Miles is very much your boss right now.

Miles nods solemnly. ‘We have no choice. I’m afraid that coffee will have to wait; we’ll have to go now if we want a chance of finding him alive.’ Just as well you’re both still dressed then; even if it is in yesterday’s clothes.

You’re all about to head for the door, when Miles remembers something; he rushes back over to his drawer, and pulls out two pair of goggles.

Placing one pair over his own eyes, he hands the second ones to you. ‘You’re going to need these if we’re going out there; we need all the visibility we can get if we’re going to spot Williams.’ You feel a hint of sadness now that Miles has covered his eyes; will you ever see them again? 

Still, bad time to think that; you have work to do.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Buc wasn’t kidding when he said there was a blizzard due; it took three hours for the snowfall to become heavier than you’ve ever seen.

Still, at least you managed to complete your mission; you’d stumbled across Williams’ half-eaten corpse just as you’d decided to turn back.

The sight made you feel sick. It’s your fault he’s out here. If you’d never argued with him, maybe this would have never happened… 

Then again, as you found classified documents on his corpse, you’re not so sure that this is your fault.

There hadn’t been time to bury the body properly; the best you could do was pull ID and the files from the remains, and hastily cover them in snow. At least the blizzard should do the rest of the work; the snow is coming in fast now.

So fast in fact that you’ve not made it back yet; worried about the incoming weather, Miles had lead both of you into a cave, the pair of you going deep enough within to shelter you from the weather.

That’s where you are now, you gloves hands rubbing against your arms to try and generate heat. You’ve never been this cold before. It’s a whole new kind of cold, the kind that sinks deep into your bones and never goes away. You’d give anything for a warm meal and a blanket right now…

As it is, the only thing you and Miles had taken rifles; bears are both prevalent and deadly out here. At least vision hasn’t been an issue; you’re glad Miles keeps spare goggles around, and even happier that he let you borrow them. You must look quite the pair, goggles on, stood by rifles, but with about six fewer layers than required to keep out the cold. 

Miles notices your shivering. ‘Are you cold?’ Even though you love him, you have to admit, that’s a stupid bloody question given the circumstances!

Instead of your usual bravado, you decide to be honest; it’s hard to lie through chattering teeth. ‘Fucking freezing. I wish we’d taken at least three more coats with us.’ And the rest; earmuffs, three pairs of socks, thermal underwear…

Miles nods. ‘Make that four. Still, considering the wind isn’t too bad or there, I think this is a snowstorm rather than a full-on blizzard. We should be able to head back soon. Would have been sooner if we’d taken better supplies...’ If you haven’t lost all of your limbs to frostbite by the time you get back, then you can forgive yourself for not preparing properly.

With your efforts to keep warm in vein, you settle for blowing down your gloves, hoping that it’ll warm your hands up at least.

Miles looks conflicted for a few moments, before finally deciding to speak. ‘Take your gloves off.’ What?! Is he insane?! Your hands will freeze off!

Before you can do so, Miles unbuttons his coat, removes his goggles, and takes a seat with his back pressed against the wall, before untucking his other layers of clothing, vest included. You get a tantalising look at his bare midriff; the hint of muscle you see there is enough to make you want to kneel down there and kiss it.

Comfortable, Miles looks up at you. ‘Trust me. I’m going to warm us both up. Just take off your gloves, and unbutton your coat.’ Oh, so you’re unbuttoning too now?! How the fuck is this going to help?!

Still, it’s not like you can deny Miles anything; you slip your gloves and goggles off, placing them in your pockets before unbutton your coat.

Miles swallows hard. ‘I need you to straddle my lap.’ You feel like you’re going to faint. This is the kind of thing that usually only happens in your dreams…

Confident that you can prevent the course your dreams usually take, you position yourself on Miles’ lap, trying to ignore the fact that there’s now nothing but fabric separating you from his d-

Miles coughs awkwardly. ‘Shrug off your coat, and put your hands under my clothes.’ Okay, this is exactly like your dreams now. If he pins you against the cave floor like an animal in heat…

Against what should be your better judgement, you cautiously place your hands against Miles’ exposed midriff, fighting the urge to cry out; he feels incredible. His skin is softer than you’d imagine, and it’s practically burning your hands. A subtle exploration under the pretence of getting comfortable shows that while there’s little in the way of definition, Miles does in fact have some serious muscles hidden just below his soft exterior. That’s definitely something to add to your fantasies later…

When you finally stop shifting, Miles gently shrugs out of his own coat sleeves, then begins trying to tie your coats together, bringing you closer to him almost unintentionally. 

When he finally succeeds, Miles takes his own gloves off, and places his bare hands against your waist.

You can practically feel the extra heat Miles gains from embarrassment as he asks his next question. ‘Can I… may I put my hands on you? Under your… skin-on-skin? Please?’ You think you might die if he does that; you know you’ll die if he doesn’t.

So you smile at him, trying to reassure him. ‘Yes, you can. We have to keep each other warm, after all.’ You wonder if he’ll be able to tell how much this position is affecting you by hearing your heart beating underneath his fingertips; the thought excites and terrifies you in equal measure.

Slowly and deliberately, Miles untucks your uniform, closing his eyes as his hands make contact with your bare stomach. You expect them to be freezing, but to you, they feel just as hot as he does, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

The gentleman that he is, Miles places them on your waist, and keeps them still, as if he’s afraid the slightest slip will offend you. He’s positioned perfectly between your bra and underwear, but if he were to shift his hands just a little higher, he could easily slip his thumbs underneath your cups…

Speaking of shifting, you wriggle a bit on Miles’ lap, trying to get into a more comfortable position. As you do, you feel something of Miles’ shift beneath you, and you’re relieved that he has his eyes shut so he doesn’t see you bite down against your bottom lip.

Despite what you’re sure are his best efforts, Miles is rock hard, and you can feel every inch of him; he’s massive!

You can’t resist just one more wriggle, grinding yourself against him. The idea of having that beast between your legs has you getting wetter, and you’re so relieved that Miles has no way of knowing how affected you are right now; thank fuck for the subtly of the hardened clit.

Even though you swore to yourself you’d stay still, Miles doesn’t have the same idea; eyes still closed, he shifts his hips up, disguising it as a leg shift. Or was it a disguise? Did he genuinely need to move them?

One more grind. You’ll just do one more grind, just to see…

You shift yourself over Miles’ lap again, almost moaning when he decides to shift his hips up at the same moment.

There’s no way that wasn’t deliberate.

You should stop this. It’s not right. Grinding yourself against your closest friend is a cave is deplorable, despicable…

Delicious.

Just a few more wriggles. Just to enjoy the feeling of having Miles rock hard between your legs that little bit longer. This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, the closest thing to sex with him you’ll ever get. He seems more than willing to play along, so is there really any harm in it? If he wants you to stop, you will. Simple as that. 

Miles thrusts his hips up again, and you don’t hesitate, grinding straight back down on him. His hands grip your body tighter, and you close your eyes, fighting the urge to trail your nails against his skin.

After a few more rubs, you feel Miles’ hands shift higher, his thumbs hesitating right at the base of your bra, practically flirting with the fabric. You shift yourself against his crotch eagerly, trying to convey that he’s welcome to explore, that you really want him to explore every part of you…

Miles gets the message; he slips his thumbs into your bra, sliding them up until they rub your nipples.

You gasp, opening your eyes only to find yourself staring into his. You can see the raw desire in his eyes, and you’re certain he must see the same thing. This is it now. No going back. All you have to do is put your lips against his, and everything changes. It’ll ruin your friendship, but it’ll be worth it. It’ll be so worth it. You want him so badly…

Miles’ eyes drift down to your mouth, and you’re sure he’s thinking the same thing; he moves his head up, his lips inches away from yours…

‘Miles?! You in here?!’ 

Fuck!

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Miles has never moved faster in his life.

After practically leaping away from his cave companion, he’d managed to hastily untangle the coats, and the two of them managed to dress in record time. By the time Buc came into view, they were both decent, albeit flustered. He told Buc they were both doing a few basic exercises to keep warm… Buc grinned at them knowingly, and Miles had to fight hard not to hit him.

Turns out Armstrong had sent him after them with extra supplies, confident they’d be able to make it back. She was right; Miles practically jogged through the snow, hoping the cold would ease his erection.

Yet here he is in his shower, still hard as a fucking rock.

Miles headed back to his room the moment they made it to Briggs. Armstrong had tried to ask him questions, but he’d brushed her off; she seemed more interested in his companion, anyway. He can’t help but feel bad for her though; she must be beyond frustrated. She’s probably stuck in a room with Armstrong and Buc, telling them what they found, her underwear soaking wet…

Miles slams the hot water on, hissing when he remembers that it starts out cold. When it finally heats up, he wraps his hand around his dick, and thinks about what just happened.

She was grinding against him on purpose. At first, he thought the first was an honest mistake, and that the moment she realised he was hard, she’d slap him, or move away, or stay completely still. In fact, he’s sure she didn’t mean it; at first. There’s no way she didn’t realise what she did the second time though; she meant to rub herself against him, he’s certain of it.

So he’d responded in kind; one grind, disguised as him getting comfortable. A test of sorts. Final proof, to see if it was a coincidence; she’d shifted back, and that was it. He knew that she meant it.

Miles groans louder than he meant to; it really has been too long since he did anything like this. 

She felt so eager against him. Felt like she couldn’t get enough of feeling him through their clothes. It felt like a dream come true, like someone had finally decided that he deserves a break, is allowed to have something he wants for a change. Would she have ever done anything like this if they hadn’t been freezing cold in a cave? He’s not sure, but it doesn’t matter; it’s not like something like that will ever happen again. It’s the closest he’ll ever get to having her as his lover, and he’s not about to let this feeling go to waste. He’ll never cross the line again, but at least he’ll always remember the one time he did.

Miles realises that he’s not even made it to the best part of his memory; her nipples.

A distant and soft feminine gasp enters his mind; is he remembering hers? It sounds so vivid, but it would be; he’ll never forget that sound.

Shit, if Buc hadn’t found them, he would have had them in his mouth. One after the other, he’d tease them with his teeth and lips until they were rock hard, begging for more attention. He’d let his hands have them again, tweaking and teasing them as she whimpers and moans for him, wriggling on his lap, desperate for so much more. Oh, but he’d give her fucking anything. He’d unto both their trousers, tear up both pairs of underwear, then rub himself against her sweet, soaking wet heat… 

Miles swears he can hear her calling his name. It sounds like honey, the most divine kind of sin…

He can’t last any longer; a few more pumps and he’s done, groaning her name so loud she can probably hear him, no matter where in Briggs she is.

As he catches his breath, and watches the evidence of his pleasure trickle away with the shower water, Miles tries to put what just happened to the back of his mind. He’ll never be able to look her in the eyes if he doesn’t. He’ll just write the whole situation off as a one-off, a mistake. His biology failed him, and hers failed her, and that’s it. Maybe he should thank Buc for stopping him from doing something stupid…

Nah. Fuck Buc.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Turns out, Armstrong doesn’t give a shit about Williams.

After Miles’ hasty exit, she hadn’t bothered to ask you what you found; instead, she informed you that you’re not going back to the barracks tonight. She’s had all your stuff moved, into the most convenient place she can thing of; the room next Miles’. You’d been given the key, and dismissed immediately so you could check it out; she’ll talk to you and Miles about your mission later.

That suits you fine; there’s something you need to do.

You find your new layout is identical to Miles’. That means that your bedroom is next to Miles’ bathroom. That could be a pain, if Miles is showering while you’re trying to sleep, but it doesn’t matter now.

All that matter is getting out of your clothes.

Locking your new door, you practically sprint to your bed, glad it’s already made; that makes things easier. You can’t waste anymore time…

Stripping off completely, you dive into bed, shove two fingers into yourself, and tease your clit with the bottom of your palm.

So close. You were so close to fucking Miles. That kiss would have sealed the deal. He’d have had you right there, shoving your body to the ground and burying his impressive erection into your more-than-willing body. You felt so ready for him. He barely did anything at all, but you don’t think you’ve ever been wetter. It’s been so long since you had someone like that, and Miles was about to change that. You were so ready for him to change that!

You hear water running next door, and realise Miles is showering. Fuck, he must look amazing with all the water flowing over him. He’s probably still hard, or you hope he is. Maybe he’s showering so he can jerk off? You hope so. You hope he’s just as affected by everything that happened as you are. You hope he’s in there right now, picturing how you’d look with his cock inside you.

You want to go in there. You want to get on your knees, beg him to use your mouth instead of his hand. You’ve always been reluctant to give head, but you want to for him. He’d love it so much. You bet he’d get on his knees and pay you right back. His tongue would feel incredible…

You hear a low groan coming from Miles’ direction; he really is masturbating in there!

A part of you feels bad for listening; you should grant him the same curtesy.

Imaging that your spare hand is Miles, you flick your finger against your nipple, gasping deliberately louder than usual; you hope he heard that. You hope he knows it’s you, and comes running. Maybe you should have left the door unlocked? An open invitation, one that screams ‘fuck me raw.’ Fuck, you’d like that. You want that more than anything right now…

Shoving in a third finger, you begin to imagine that it’s Miles, pinning you to the bed as he takes what’s his, what you want to give him. Over and over again, fucking you harder and harder and…

You scream his name. You can’t help yourself. You scream his name as you climax violently, the image of Miles’ relentless screwing still so vivid in your mind.

You hear Miles cry your name; looks like you’re both satisfied now.

As you come down from your high, gilt washes over you. You never meant for this to happen. You’ve crossed the line twice, once by rubbing against Miles like a bitch in heat, and another time by listening to him masturbate. If he knew…

Still, it doesn’t matter. It’s not like anything will come of this. Come tomorrow, this’ll be a distant memory, a slip up. You’ll go back to being friends, and live will continue as normal.

You’ll just have to pretend that this whole thing never happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … I’m a mean one I know ;P Will these feelings never culminate? Find out soon ;)
> 
> For now, thank you for reading ^.^


	11. The Final Push

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,
> 
> So… you’re all hoping this’ll pick up from last chapter, right? Prepare for disappointment; It’s not time just yet ;P
> 
> For now, enjoy ^.^

Thankfully, one week later, it seems as if Miles has forgotten the incident in the cave.

There was no mention of it of the next day. No awkward stares, no tension. Just your normal friendly banter, nothing out of the ordinary. 

The only hint or acknowledgement either of you had made was when Miles’ eyes widened when you’d told him you’re his new neighbour. That seemed to shock him quite a bit.

At least your indiscretion hasn’t destroyed your friendship; you’d never forgive yourself for that.

You and Miles had been debriefed by Armstrong the day after you came back. From the sounds of things, Williams was a spy, sent to Briggs to steal classified documents. All his asshole behaviour was only half his personality; the man was a traitor. Still, it’s strange that he’d even be able to get his hands on such documents… heads will roll when Armstrong finds out who’s careless actions allowed this to happen.

Still, at least the rumours have all but stopped now. Since the announcement of Williams’ treachery, and the news that you had been the one to stop him (something Miles, Buc, and Armstrong had all agreed to tell people), people began to assume the Williams had started the rumours as a smokescreen, in an attempt to have you thrown off his tail. You’ve received a lot of apologies, and your relationship with Miles hasn’t been the subject of any further speculation; it’s clear to everyone that he’s a mentor, nothing more. Well, you know that’s not true, but if that’s what they’ll believe…

For now at least, what they think is unimportant, because you’re not working directly with Miles until this afternoon. Armstrong has asked him to assist her in overseeing production of the tanks this morning. You’re surprised she didn’t ask you to listening in too, but you don’t mind; whatever they’re talking about must be too classified for your ears. For now, you’re helping out the engineers, passing them spanners and the like. It’s a little dull, but it’s fine; at least it doesn’t involve anything dangerous.

Still, you can’t help but look at Miles constantly. You can’t help yourself. You know what it feels like to touch his skin, to feel his fingers tease your…

Even though he’s talking to Armstrong, Miles glances in your direction. Even if he’s wearing his goggles, you can feel his eyes on you, and you turn your head immediately, blushing like a teenager. Why are you acting like this? It’s been a week, you’ve moved on. You’re not thinking about it anymore.

Well, apparently you are, but you can’t let it show.

It’s so stupid. Why can’t you get it out of your mind? It’s not like it meant anything to him. He was just reacting like any straight man would, if they had a woman rubbing against them. It was just his body reacting, not him. He doesn’t want you, not like that. He wants a friend. Only a friend…

If only it was possible to change the way he feels.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

This week has been agony for Miles.

He thought it would be so easy to forget the cave. He was out of sorts, his well-trained hormones spiralled out of control. It was just a mistake.

Yet the moment he saw her the next day, he immediately wanted to continue what they’d started.

Of course, he’s been trying so hard to hide it. He almost lost it when he found out she’s in the room next to him; does that mean those noises weren’t in his head? That she was just a wall away, doing the same thing he was? Could she hear him? Did she know he was there? She must have heard the shower, but did she hear the moans?

Did they spur her on?

If he’d only known those noises were real, he would have broken. As far gone as he was, Miles would have gone to her room, and begged her to let him join in. He still has to fight his desire to go to her room one night, and lay his true feelings bare to her…

Miles pinched himself through his uniform. He has to focus. Armstrong is telling him all sorts of important information, he has to start taking it in! 

Armstrong glances at Miles, a smirk on her place. ‘Having trouble sleeping, Miles? You keep zoning out on me. Do it again, and I might just have to make an example of you.’ Miles dreads to think what she’d do; he better start listening.

Trying not to take her threat too seriously, Miles crosses his arms. ‘I’ve been sleeping just fine. I have a lot on my mind at the moment, that’s all. Paperwork is still the deadliest enemy of all, you know? Besides, it’ll be our annual pissing contest with the south before you know it, and I want to make sure our men are better than the best.’ All poor excuses for his wandering mind, but truthful enough; he has been putting effort into training and paperwork lately.

Armstrong scowls, but her voice sounds more irritated than angry. ‘I’m not stupid, Miles. I know there’s only one thing on your mind right now, and it’s the furthest thing from paperwork. If you getting laid means you’ll keep getting distracted…’ Wait, she thinks what? That he’s sleeping… she thinks he’s already crossed that line?

Against the better judgement of any sane person, Miles interrupts Armstrong. ‘We haven’t been sleeping together. The only reason she was in my bed last week was because we stayed up too late talking, and I didn’t want to send her back in the middle of the night. It was nothing more than that.’ Well, it was, but as he swore to secrecy over what really happened…

Armstrong scoffs. ‘Seriously? Puppy dog eyes don’t suit a wolf, Miles. You’re a man of Briggs, a fierce warrior, yet you can’t take what you want. How long have you been pining after her now?’ 

Miles is none too keen on Armstrong’s wording, but he answers nonetheless. ‘I wanted her the moment I first saw her, but I couldn’t say when that wanting turned into love.’ Why did he have to admit that to her? He should have kept it at lust. If she knows how deep his feelings run, she’ll separate them for sure; if it was just sex, it could stop at any time with little consequence. With feelings however…

Armstrong smiles knowingly. ‘I see. Then why are you still hiding from her? I know she’s seen your eyes, Miles, and I’m almost certain you know her secret. Why not go all in?’ W-what?

Miles has to fight to keep his jaw from falling on the floor. Is she… is that Armstrong’s roundabout way of giving him her blessings to pursue a relationship with a subordinate?! If anyone found out…

Miles shakes his head. ‘I can’t. Even if I wasn’t worried about the regs, or the chain of command, or even the stigma she’d face for being with me once it all came out, I am worried about what she thinks of me. I don’t want her to think I’m some slimy bastard using my position to pressure her into something. I don’t want her to accept my feelings if she doesn’t feel the same just because she feels pressured into it.’ It’s too risky. He could lose her friendship, the one he’s treasured more than anything, and that’s much too big a thing to gamble.

With a harsh sigh, Armstrong rolls her eyes. ‘If you really think she’d think so little of you, then you don’t really love her at all. Make up your mind, Miles, because I’m not willing to turn a blind eye to you flaunting regulations if all you want is to get your dick wet. Are your feelings genuine or not?’ Sometimes, Miles forgets that just underneath Armstrong’s terrifying outer shell, there’s an even scarier woman who cares for her soldiers with all the ferocity of a mother bear; the amount of tact is on-parr too.

Miles sighs; he’s not getting out of this one, so he might as well come clean. ‘I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Not this strongly. When I look at her…’ He glances down at the woman always on her mind, only to find that she’s looking straight at him. She turns away after a second, but Miles is sure he can see a blush delicately painting her cheeks. ‘I can see myself building a home with her. A family. A life. Even if we I had to leave the military, I could live with that. If I only ever had her for the rest of my life, I’d consider that a happy life. Fuck, maybe I’m just a lovesick idiot. I’ve only known her for six months. Who ever heard of falling so hard so quickly?’ He’s an idiot, all right. He sounds pathetic, even to himself. As if anyone would take these feelings seriously…

The Armstrong death glare appears. ‘So why are you acting like a teenage boy? Man up, and take action. Make it clear that you want those thing. If you want something to happen, make it happen. That’s an order.’ Can she actually order him to do that? Probably; she could probably order fish to walk and they’d do it.

Miles sighs, defeated. ‘Alright. Alright, I’ll speak to her, but in my own time. I need to think of what I’m going to say.’ He has no idea how to even approach the subject with her. What should he say? Should he ask her if she’s open to a relationship? Does he try to put the moves on her?

Does he ask if she wants to continue where they left off in the cave?

Armstrong snickers. ‘Tell her what you just told me. Well, maybe tone a bit. Never knew you had it in you to fall this hard. Just make sure neither of you leave any visible marks; your situation can’t be questioned if there’s nothing to question.’ Miles already knows they’d have to be careful… if it even happens.

Before Miles can say anything, he feels something cold and hard clamp down on his shoulder; look like Buc has decided to join the conversation.

The large man laughs boisterously, before quieting his tone completely. ‘So this is where you’ve been hiding, eh loverboy? What, you finally decided to come up for air, did you? Been at it like a fucking rabbit all week, am I right? High five!’ Buc raises his flesh arm for a high five; Miles just stares at it.

The Major sighs. ‘For your information, I haven’t fucked anyone.’ 

Buc’s jaw drops in shock. ‘Whaaa-? But I saw you in that cave! There’s no way you weren’t getting hot and heavy in there. Besides, you had a rod on the whole way back, and I know I’m not the only one who noticed. Come in during the foreplay, did I? Did you both agree to meet up back at base? That why you scampered off so quick?’ He has no idea. He has no idea just how hard he managed to cock-block…

Armstrong tuts. ‘Miles doesn’t have the balls to tell his lady friend how he feels. The only thing he’s been getting intimate with is his hand.’ Miles so relieved that it’s noisy here; if anyone heard this conversation…

Once again, Buc looks shocked. ‘Are you insane?! Why the fuck not?! You’ve got a sexy woman who wants to jump your bones working with you every day! A single sexy woman I should add. Why aren’t you trying to tap that?’ For a man that Miles knows hasn’t had sex in an even longer time than him, Buc doesn’t half talk about it a lot!

Miles furrows his brows at him. ‘What makes you think she wants to jump my bones? She’s never indicated that she wants anything more than friendship.’ Except in the cave. Why can’t Miles stop thinking about the cave?

Buc winks. ‘Trust me, she does. I’ve already asked her.’ He… Buc is so overdue a punch it’s not even funny.

Miles must look shocked, because Buc continues. ‘Yep. She told me she cared for you, more than she should. If that’s not code for ‘my heart has a hard-on for you’, then I’ve lost my ability to read the language of love. Trust me, if you put the moves on her, you’re in, no questions asked. You used to tell me how the Ishvalan in you stopped you from finding love, but trust me when I say that you’ve found a woman that wants you to put the Ishvalan in her!’ He raises his hand towards Armstrong for a high-five; she looks at it as if it was a dead fish.

Frustrated, Miles takes a deep breath. ‘I appreciate the advice, but this is something I need to do on my own. It’s going to be hard enough without picturing your threats and graphic comments. I’m a grown man, I can tell a woman how I feel in my own time.’ Soon. He should do it soon, if only so they’ll stop goading him.

Armstrong almost looks bored. ‘Your reasoning is so pitiful, Miles. If you won’t take my advice, then you’re welcome to keep on sleeping alone. But when another man comes along to take your place, don’t let it affect your work. As if you can work when you’re in this state anyhow. For the sake of Briggs, just do something. And I swear to god, in the highly unlikely event that she does say no, you’d better take it like a man. If she comes into my office screaming rape, you’ll hang for it.’ What?! Does she really think he’d do that?!

Buc claps his shoulder again. ‘Don’t worry, Miles won’t be accused of anything; it’s not rape if both parties consent, and somehow I don’t think he’ll have any trouble getting her enthusiastic consent. 

‘Oh, that reminds me! I got you a little something.’ Buc rummages through his uniform, pulling out a box. ‘Had to go down the mountain a couple days ago, and figured you’d want these. Sorry, large was the biggest size they had. These going to be big enough?’ Miles could pass out from embarrassment; Buc bought him condoms?!

Before Miles can reject them, Buc shoves them into the smaller man’s pocket, patting it with a wink. ‘There’s twenty in there. Should be enough for the one night. Just a little present from your ol’ pal Buc. Now you have no excuse to at least try. After all, if it goes real well, you’re all covered.’ Miles wants to die. This might be the single most embarrassing thing he’s ever lived through. He’s never going to be able to look his new ‘right-hand’ in the eye ever again, is he?

Armstrong smiles, one that almost seems genuine. ‘You’re a good man, Miles. You deserve to be happy, and I know how happy she makes you. Why don’t you give happiness a shot for a change? It suits you better than moping.’ As reluctant as he is, they’re right. What will saying nothing do other than bring him misery? Besides, he can’t hide his feelings much longer. He should come clean sooner, rather than later. At least that way, he won’t have to live with the uncertainty any longer. One way or another, he’ll finally know if he has any chance with the woman who has so effortlessly managed to captivate his very being.

Feeling quietly hopeful that maybe, just maybe, things will go in his favour for a change, Miles smiles. ‘That it does. If it’s all the same to you two, it’s lunch now, so I’d like to collect my subordinate and get some food. There’s a lot of work to do this afternoon.’ He needs to think about how best to approach the subject, but he’ll manage it. He’ll come clean tonight. They’re due to have their weekly coffee tonight, so he knows he’ll have her all to himself. Besides, it’s not as if she’s sleeping far away now…

Armstrong nods. ‘Very well. I’m afraid that there’s a lot more paperwork than usual. Could take you days to finish it, in fact. So if I don’t see much of either of you, I’ll just assume you’re working on it. Just get it done.’ It’s going to be so awkward in the likely event that Miles is unsuccessful, but for now, he’ll keep that from his mind.

He doesn’t want to assume he’s missed before even taking the shot.

Now with determination in his stride, Miles goes to collect the woman he plans to confess to.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Armstrong and Buc look at each other for a while after Miles leaves, neither one wanting to speak first.

Finally, Buc caves. ‘You think tonight is the night then? Have we finally done enough?’

Armstrong smirks, looking down at Miles and the object of his desire. Watching them both try so hard to silence their feelings is so tedious…

She looks Buc dead in the eyes. ‘If they don’t realise tonight, then I don’t think they ever will.’ They’ve both been longing for too long. They’ll start to give up all hope if they’re not quick, and that’s the last thing Armstrong wants…

… she’s worked hard to pull them together, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two more chapters after this now! That I’ve written, at least; there’s going to be plenty more afterwards I’m sure :)
> 
> For now, thank you for reading ^.^


	12. A Long Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo,
> 
> Back again! Hope you enjoy the chapter ^.^

Considering how interesting and varied your morning was, this afternoon has been unbelievably tedious. 

Paperwork is never fun. Even if it means getting to sit with Miles for a few hours, it’s the dullest part of the job. The one downside of Armstrong spotting your potential really; regular soldiers of your rank don’t get paperwork.

After going through fuck knows how many pages, Miles had disappeared to fetch dinner; you’d offered, but he’d insisted. Needed to stretch his legs or something. So you’d continued to do the paperwork, hoping that you’ll be able to finish earlier. Seems very unlikely though; this paperwork will take days to finish. Looks like coffee night will have to wait…

The door opens behind you, so you turn around to double-check who it is; you’re happy to see it’s Miles, carrying your dinner for the evening.

You immediately stand up to help, taking one of the trays from him so he can close the door. You’re a little confused when he locks it, but he must be ensuring you’re not disturbed; you’ll be working all night, after all, and any distraction would only make it longer.

Carefully shoving your paperwork to one side, you place your tray in front of you, comfortably settling down in your seat again. 

Miles does the same on his side, takes off his goggles, and smiles at you; you have to fight the urge to blush. ‘Dinner is served. I think we’ve both earned it tonight. We do anymore writing, and I think my hands will cramp up.’ You’re in a similar situation, but that doesn’t change things…

You sigh. ‘I did a little more when you were gone, but we’re going to be up all night if we want this done.’ You take a bite of your food, trying to sound fully disappointed; you don’t want him to know that spending all night with him is a lot more enticing than a full night of sleep…

Miles scoffs, swallowing his mouthful. ‘Fuck that. It’s our coffee night, I’m not wasting it on paperwork. We’ll continue it in the morning. Armstrong isn’t expecting it for a while, so we can take our time.’ That’s music to your ears; the only thing better than staying up working is staying up talking. There is one thing that’s you’re wondering now though; why did Miles lock the door?

You eat your meals in comfortable silence, excited for your weekly downtime. What are you going to ask him tonight? So many interesting things to ask him. So many things to discuss.

So many chances to come clean about your feelings.

Would it really be such a bad idea to tell Miles how you feel? If nothing else, these past six months have shown you that he’s a gentleman; even if he doesn’t reciprocate, you’re sure he won’t be an asshole about it. Your friendship might take a hit, but if that’s what it takes to finally stop hiding, then that’s the price you’ll pay. Besides, if there’s even the slightest chance he feels the same, you have to take the chance.

Maybe tonight should be the night. 

After all, if the door is locked, it could mean Miles wants privacy with you. It could be your best chance.

You could always be cautious about it. Bring it up in a roundabout way. After all, Miles is a smart man; he could probably pick up on the subtext, and decide if he wants to address it. Yeah, that could work.

There’s no harm in trying it, at least. 

When you both finally finished eating, Miles clears away the trays, so you make a start on the coffee, jumping when you feel a pair of strong hands grab your hips from behind. ‘I can finish these. You’ve had a long day. Sit down and take a break.’ Your mind instantly floods with the memories of what happened the last time Miles’ hands grabbed your waist, and you scurry back to your seat sharpish, trying not to blush. Maybe you’re not ready to say anything, after all…

After a few moments, Miles brings the coffee over. It’s amazing, being able to look into his eyes when you talk to him. He’s been taking them off more often in your presence, now that you know the truth about him. It makes it so much easier to talk to him, being able to make eye contact. Of course, he still keeps them on outside the office, but inside, his eyes are on full display.

Taking a sip of his coffee, Miles lets out a long sigh. ‘You know, I’d be lying if I said that this isn’t my favourite part of the week. Getting to relax with a beautiful woman and a nice cup of coffee is a luxury I never thought I’d have after joining the military.’ He… Miles thinks you’re beautiful? He really thinks that? He’s never said anything like that before… is he just trying to be nice because it’s been a long day? Is he covering his tracks on something? What’s going on?

Trying to act as if your brain and heart aren’t both frantically analysing things, you smile. ‘I’d be lying right back if I said I didn’t enjoy it. You’re a very easy person to talk to, Miles. Even if you have been Mr Mysterious from day one.’ He’s not that anymore though; you can’t say you’re upset about that.

Miles laughs. ‘That’s Major Mysterious to you, Miss Clumsy. I never did punish you over that, did I? I must have known I’d be seeing more of you in the future. Would have been a lot different if we’d had to work together after I flayed you.’ That’s a horrifying image…

You shake your head. ‘I don’t think that’s your style. You’re more a practical punishment man. You’d have made me give up my dinner, and got me to scrub the floors with my toothbrush or something.’ You wouldn’t have minded that much; it would have given Miles a great view of your ass. Maybe then you’d have that image working in favour of enticing him!

Thinking for a moment, Miles hums. ‘Yeah, that sounds about right, actually. You’re lucky it wasn’t Buc you knocked into, really. He might have made you scrub the floor in nothing but your underwear or something.’ Now that would be an image to get Miles’ blood flowing! Maybe you should offer it as a delayed act of penance?

It’s your turn to laugh, albeit nervously. ‘Yeah, that does sound like Buc. I swear, that man needs a girlfriend. Couldn’t we try setting him up with the doctor or something? Maybe we could team up and supervise him on a night out?’ Then again, you’d be preoccupied with Miles, casually checking if he was getting any offers himself…

Miles nods. ‘I like the idea with setting him up, but not on a night out. Besides, I’d be too busy trying to scare guys away from you to pay him my full attention.’

You raise your eyebrows. ‘You’d keep men away from me?’ 

Miles suddenly looks very embarrassed. ‘Well… drunk men, yeah. I wouldn’t want you to get manhandled by a group of drunk strangers. I know you can stand up for yourself, but a three-on-one fight is hard no matter who the one is. I’m not trying to belittle you, I promise. You’re a Briggs soldier, one of the best. No civilian stands a chance in a fight against you.’ He’s backtracking on his words, which almost makes you sad; you were hoping he’d say he’d fight for you because he doesn’t want another man to have you. Sounds stupid really; would you really want someone so jealous to be your lover?

If the man is Miles, then hell yeah.

Thinking that now might be a good idea to drop a clue about your feelings, you try to act casual. ‘If I’m honest, having you as a bodyguard would be a good thing. I’m only interested in dating one person right now, so random men in a bar would be little more than a nuisance, really.’ Is that too big a hint? Have you made things too obvious? 

For a moment, you’re certain you see sadness in Miles’ eyes, but he covers it quickly. ‘I see. Anybody I know?’ Well, yes actually, it’s someone you know very well indeed…

Chewing on your lip, you decide to drop a subtler hint this time. ‘I’m not sure if we should discuss this. After all, you’re my commanding officer, and I don’t want to have a conflict of interests.’ Except the conflict between being a commanding officer and being a lover, of course…

Miles swallows hard. ‘There won’t be any conflict, I promise. As long as you’re still speaking to me as a friend, I’m willing to forget everything you tell me when I’m back to being your commanding officer. I swear it.’ You think you can see him shaking a little; is he cold?

You take a deep breath; time for a third hint. ‘There will be, but okay. It’s someone in the fort. Someone I’ve become very close to.’ He should get it from that; he’s the one person in Briggs you’re closest to!

Miles nods, almost solemnly. ‘Alright. Is it Armstrong?’ What?! Where the fuck did he get that from?!

Your head shakes vehemently. ‘What?! Miles, I’d never lie to you. When I said I liked men, I meant it! Besides, when do she and I ever spend that much time together?’ You only see her when you’re working with Miles, or occasionally in the hallways. That’s barely enough time to form a friendship, never mind a romantic connection!

You almost think Miles looks relived, but there’s still something off with him. ‘It wouldn’t be the first time Armstrong has captured the heart of a straight woman, but okay. Not her then. I’m guessing it can’t be Buc either, because you wanted to set him up. Who is it then?’ … Maybe subtle was a mistake. Since when has Miles been this oblivious?!

Maybe you should backtrack on this; your plan has clearly backfired. You’ll have to try again another night, if you can work up the courage to do so.

Shaking your head again, you raise a hand to signal stop. ‘It doesn’t really matter. It’s not as if I have any real chance with him, anyway. He’s not the kind of man that would risk his career with fraternisation anyway, and I can’t expect him to reciprocate what I feel.’ As much as you want it. This would be so much easier if you were the same rank…

For a moment, there’s a conflict in Miles’ eyes, before he smiles gently. ‘You really care about him, don’t you?’ Oh, but if he only knew…

Trying one final time to drop a hint, you look deep into Miles’ eyes, as if you’re trying to merge your soul with his. ‘I’m in love with him. I know that might sound reckless and immature, but I’m not about to lie to you. I’d be willing to risk everything for a chance to be with him.’ You sigh heavily. ‘I know I seem like I’m a hardass, and yeah, I can take care of myself, but my heart is just as soft as any other person’s. That’s what all people have in common. It doesn’t matter who you are, or where you were born, or the colour of your eyes; all our hearts are vulnerable, no matter how much we try to harden them. I let someone into mine, and now I’m scared for it. I know that I can trust him not to break it, but I don’t know if I can convince him to let me tend to his.’ It must be so warm inside Miles’ heart; it makes you sad that so many people have turned away the chance to see it.

Miles closes his eyes. ‘Then you should go to him. Don’t waste your time drinking coffee with me when you could be telling him all of this.’ He opens his eyes, and you almost flinch; you’ve never seen so many emotions in one pair of eyes before. ‘Take my advice; tell him while you still can. Don’t make the same mistakes I have.’ Wait… Miles is in love, too? Or he has been, at least…

This has you curious. ‘Miles, do you have feelings for someone, too? Someone in Briggs, maybe?’ You should have noticed. How haven’t you noticed? Why hasn’t he mentioned it? Who is she? Does she know he’s Ishvalan too? 

Miles nods, his voice flat. ‘Yes, but that doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have let myself fall in love with a subordinate, but I couldn’t help myself. Things are different with you. You don’t have race or rank holding you back. You’re a wonderful woman, and there isn’t a straight man in the world that wouldn’t be lucky to have you. That’s why you should stop wasting time here, and find him. Whatever you need, I’ll cover for you. If there’s any chance of you being happy, I’ll make it happen. It’s the least I can do in exchange for giving me the greatest gift of all; your friendship.’ You can’t do this. You can’t sit in here anymore. You feel like you’re suffocating. All this time trying to fight your feelings, and the moment you give in and admit them…

You need to leave. For the sake of your friendship with Miles, you need to leave right now. Stupid, stupid mistake, trying to come clean. The worst part is that somehow, he’s managed to reject you without even knowing how you feel. It’s devastating; you need time to deal with it.

Gulping down your coffee in an attempt to swallow the lump in your throat, you stand up. ‘I think I’m going to retire for the night, if you don’t need my help. We can start again in the morning.’ Racing over to the door, you somehow manage to unlock it with shaking hands. 

You’re about to walk out, but for some reason, your mouth spews out a final few words. ‘I might be a hypocrite for saying this, but your excuses are pretty bullshit, Miles. If the woman you… if this woman you’ve set your heart on can’t see past race and rank, then fuck her. But fuck you too for closing the door on her before you’ve even tried. After all, you’re not just an Ishvalan or a Major; you’re the best man I’ve ever met, and only a fool couldn’t see that past everything else.’ You slam the door behind you, and head next door to your room, trying to blink away the tears starting to form.

You hope Miles is as willing to forget this as easily as he forgot that cave; if not, you’ve just lost your only friend.

Maybe crying isn’t such a bad idea, after all.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

For the first time in a long time, Miles has to fight back tears. 

How could he be so stupid? Of course she already has her heart set on someone. Why did he think he’d even get a look in? He’s been constantly telling her that they’re friends, only ever that they’re friends. She probably only sees him as a friend, not as a single man that is very much attracted to her.

Then what did that last comment mean?

He should leave her alone for a while. She needs time to cool off. But then, what made her so angry to begin with? What did he say that turned her talk of love into anger? Was it because he mentioned his own pain? Does she think him selfish for doing so? He was only trying to offer advice, and to convince himself that even if he did say something to try and change her heart, it wouldn’t work out.

At least he’s doing as ordered and taking it the best he can. He’ll smile at the man that gets to hold the woman he loves, cover for them as they make love. Even if that means leaving him room so he can hear them…

It’s over before it even began. Miles knows he has no right to mourn a relationship that never bloomed, but he can lament never taking action. If he’d only listened to his heart, taken a chance; now he’s lost his chance to be with her…

… or has he?

After all, she’s still single. 

It’s a selfish idea, but it’s enough to make Miles stand up from his chair. 

If he comes clean right now, there might still be a chance for him. Granted, it’s going to take a lot of convincing. He’s asking her to give up on the man she loves so that he can love her. It’s a gamble, the biggest one he can think of, but it doesn’t matter. Their friendship has already taken hit after hit lately. The cave incident, her outburst a moment ago; it can’t go on like this. It’s all or nothing now. 

Miles doesn’t quite know what he’s going to say, but it has been be something big. Maybe not too big; he doesn’t want her to overwhelm her with how deep his feeling are imbedded in his soul. He just needs to tell her that he wants more than a friendship with her, and if there’s any chance she’d be willing to choose him over this other man, he’d cherish her. He knows it’ll take time for her to love him, if indeed she ever does, but he’s not above waiting and trying. If she doesn’t, at least he can say he had her for a while, and that should be enough to help him move on.

If she says no, he’ll just have to take it on the chin, and find a way to bury his feelings so deep no one will ever find them.

Miles doesn’t bother knocking on her door; she’s mad enough that manners won’t make much difference anyway. He registers her standing in the middle of the room as he shuts the door behind him. She’s facing away from him, but before he can call out, she spins around, and the sight breaks Miles’ heart;

She’s on the verge of tears, and he’s sure it’s his fault.

He should back down. A gentleman would back down. A real man would back down.

All Miles can do is stare.

Her voice breaks a little as she tilts her head slightly in confusion. ‘M-Miles?’ Her voice sounds timid, too timid. He hates seeing her fire burn so low, so close to the embers. 

He needs to go big. He needs to start that fire again, so he opens him mouth to tell her that he loves her.

No words come out.

Instead, he just stares at her, completely frozen. He feels like a frightened rabbit, being stared at by a majestic wolf.

No. He’s not a rabbit; he’s a wolf, just like her. He’s a wolf, and for once in his life, he’s going to risk everything to have what he wants, even if just for a moment.

With a confidence he never knew he had, Miles strides over to her, words still failing him. Then again, words always have failed when it comes to her; it’s time for him to abandon them in favour of one ultimate gesture. 

He weaves a hand into her hair, and pulls her towards him until her lips meet his in a kiss Miles pours six months of pent up feelings into.

He just hopes he’s not made the biggest mistake of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … And this is how the story ends! Thank you all so much for re-
> 
> Ah, just kidding. Next chapter will be up at some point, and I think everyone here can guess what’s gonna happen ;)
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, and I hope to see you next time ^.^


	13. Heat Of The Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Sorry to keep you all waiting; my other half suggested a Lord Of The Rings marathon, and there was no way I was saying no to that!
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy ;)

Of all the things you were expecting when you saw Miles burst in through your door, a kiss wasn’t one of them.

Not that you’re complaining, of course; you’re too busy returning said kiss with almost violent enthusiasm, snaking your body around him as if you’re trying to crawl into his skin.

Miles doesn’t seem to mind at all; in fact, he’s encouraging it, the hand not all but forcing your lips to remain locked grabbing your ass to bring your hips flush against his. A familiar bulge rubs against you, but this time, you don’t have any doubts as to why he has it; nothing about this situation counts as accidental stimulation.

You have to force your mouth back just to take in air for a moment, but you head straight back in, your tongue prodding against Miles’ lips. He lets you in, but only so he slip his own tongue into your mouth, using it to dominate the kiss.

Not if you can help it.

Trying to distract him, you slide a hand between your bodies so you can cup his erection through his trousers. The resulting groan gives you the chance to restart the kiss, this time trying to win the fight for dominance. 

Just when you think you have control, the hand Miles has in your hair slides down, cupping a breast before giving it a firm squeeze. You moan into it, and Miles takes full advantage, dominating the kiss once again. 

Before you can retaliate, the hand on your ass starts untucking your uniform, and you tremble with anticipation. 

Sure enough, the moment you’re untucked, Miles slides his hand under your shirt, trailing his hand up your spine. He wrestles with your bra strap for a moment before finally unhooking it, giving him better access to your breasts. He doesn’t waste the opportunity, moving his hand forward so he can grab one.

You break the kiss with a moan. ‘Miles…’ Your whole body feels hot, your clothes suddenly too much. You’d give anything to be naked right now…

Feeling confident, you try to slip your hand directly into Miles’ trousers, but a firm grip on your wrist stops you.

Miles smiles licentiously, the sight going straight to your groin. ‘My bed, right now.‘ Fuck, you’d do anything for him after that kiss!

You nod enthusiastically, not trusting your voice.

Hand-in-hand, Miles escorts you back to his room, your heart jittering away in your chest. Finally, you get the chance to be together. After wanting him for so long, you get to have what you want.

You hope Miles has a lot of stamina; you plan to keep him up all night if you can.

When you’re both inside, Miles lets go of you to lock the door. You decide to sprint into the bedroom, planning to shrug off a few layers before Miles catches up; shouldn’t be too hard, given that you’ve had a head start. 

You only get as far as shoes, socks, and jacket before Miles comes in, wearing a confident smile. ‘You’ll freeze if you start stripping like that. Get under the duvet.’ Well, as he asked so nicely… 

When your body is settled underneath the covers, Miles begins to strip himself down, starting with his shoes. 

As you watch him undress, Miles looks at you. ‘Strip.’ You’re surprised that Miles is being so assertive with you. Still, where’s the harm in indulging him? You’re sure whatever he’s planning won’t leave you wanting.

Doing as instructed, you strip off layer-by-layer, piling your clothes up on the floor next to you. There’s only one exception; you keep your underwear on. After all, Miles should be the one to take them off of you…

… they are his, after all.

By the time you’re ready for him, Miles has stripped down to just his vest and boxers. The outline of his cock is clearer than ever, and your practically flood your underwear when you realise your previous estimations were slightly off; he’s certainly not lacking, that’s for sure. You’ll be aching tomorrow if he manages to fit that inside you!

Stroking your leg through the blanket, Miles licks his lips, casually untying his hair. ‘I bet you’re still freezing, all naked like this. At least this time I can warm you up without interruption.’ Just hearing him say that makes you squirm; this is way better than him just watching you undress.

Keeping his eyes focused on your body, Miles slips in underneath the covers, settling himself between your legs. Your feet stick out a little, but it doesn’t matter; you have a feeling you’ll be burning up before too long.

Suddenly, you feel something hot and wet trailing down the back of your thigh, firm hands keeping your leg in the air whilst Miles’ eager tongue explores, his sideburns occasionally tickling your skin. You whimper, almost lamenting the fact you can’t see what he’s doing; then again, the mystery makes it more exciting.

When he’s trailed his tongue across most of your leg, he switches sides, giving your other leg the same meticulous treatment. His proximity to the once place you’re craving attention doesn’t go unnoticed; if only he’d shift his head closer to the middle.

As if he can read minds, Miles abandons your legs, and begins kissing your hips, only to tut loudly. ‘I thought I told you to strip? And what are these? They don’t feel all that sexy…’ his hands come up to your waist, trying to feel for answers; Miles eventually gasps. ‘Are these mine? Cheeky… You come into my office, wearing my boxers, and don’t even have the curtesy to tell me? I’m afraid I’ll have to confiscate these.’ With that, he grabs the waistband of ‘your’ underwear, slowly dragging them off your legs before tossing them off somewhere.

Miles gives you a quick kiss just below your naval, still avoiding the one place you need him. ‘So, where should I explore now? Anything down here you think requires attention?’ Oh, that’s it. When you get your hands on him…

One of his fingers circles your opening, and you cry out. ‘Miles… for the love of god just-‘ You don’t need to finish that sentence; Miles slides his finger inside of you with ease, entire digit disappearing inside of you.

Miles bites down on your thigh, stifling a moan before practically growling at you. ‘You’re so wet. I didn’t realise you wanted me this much…’ Of course you do; does he think that kissing meant nothing?

Slowly, Miles begins to pump his finger in and out of you, carefully exploring you as he does. He brings his mouth up to lazily lap at your clit, alternating strokes with small circular motions.

You weave your hands into Miles’ hair, silently asking for more; Miles responds by inserting a second finger. 

As you begin to feel the first signs of an orgasm building, Miles’ fingers brush against you in just the right place, a wanton moan tearing itself from your lips without warning.

You swear you can feel Miles grin around your clit as he sticks a third finger inside of you, aiming for the same spot again. When he gets the same reaction, his movements become relentless, and you grip his hair even tighter, your body involuntarily thrusting back against Miles’ fingers. Your lover isn’t having any of it; using his free hand, Miles forces you to stay still for him, his assault on your senses unyielding.

It only takes a few more thrusts for you to practically sob his name as your body burns underneath his touch, every nerve in your body seemingly ablaze as the single most intense orgasm you’ve ever had sends your body into a state of mind-numbing bliss.

It seems to take forever for your body to come back down from its high, and you’re vaguely aware that while he’s slowed right down, Miles is still moving his fingers in and out of you.

When the shockwaves finally die, the tongue teasing your clit finally relents. ‘Are you ready for more, or would you like to call it quits?’ Stop after that? Not a fucking chance!

You use your grip on Miles’ hair to all but drag him up to you, before flipping your positions so that you’re straddling his hips.

Miles grin is almost smug. ‘More it is, then.’ He thrusts his hips up at you, and you cry out; you need him naked right now.

You grab the hem of Miles’ vest, almost toppling off of his lap when he sits up enough to let you remove it. You can’t stop yourself from trailing kisses down his torso, his skin somehow warmer against your lips. 

Finally losing his patience, Miles thrusts his hips up at you, so you turn your attention to his boxers, moving to straddle his thighs so you can watch his erection spring free. 

You swallow hard when it’s finally free; as you’d always suspected, he’s not lacking!

Shoving his boxers the rest of the way down, you move to straddle his erection again, rubbing him against your dripping slit.

Almost frantically, Miles grabs your hips, trying to keep you still. ‘How do you want to do this?’ Preferably with his cock inside you, but you might settle for this…

You bite your lip, considering. ‘Would you mind if I was on top tonight?’ If he’s anything like your last few lovers, that’s be a no…

Miles grins. ‘If that means I get to watch your tits bounce up and down, I’m all for it.’ So crude; you love it.

Just as you’re about to position yourself over him, a thought occurs to you. ‘I know it’s a long shot, but do you have any protection? I’m happy for you to pull out, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.’ Not to mention the pain it’ll be wiping yourself up afterwards.

Miles looks as if he’s remembered something. ‘My jacket pocket!’ He’s about to jump up and get it himself, but you beat him to it, reaching over with ease.

As you retrieve the box from his jacket, and begin to open it, you raise your eyebrows at Miles. ‘Hoping to get lucky, were you?’ You wink playfully, a single wrapper now in your hand.

Miles can’t look you in the eye. ‘Actually, Buc gave them to me.’ Buc? Son of a…

Sliding the condom over Miles’ length, you smile. ‘Better present than whisky at least. Twenty of them too. So what’s that, three days?’ You raise your eyebrows suggestively, trying to keep a straight face.

Miles groans, trying to position himself at your opening. ‘Keep this up, and it’ll only be two; you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.’ You’re about to tell him that you’ve wanted it longer, when you feel Miles slowly slide up into you, your thoughts turning to mush.

You push yourself down on Miles as he thrusts up, your nails digging into his shoulders as you slowly take him in. You can feel your body stretching around him, and you pant with effort, almost concerned you won’t be able to take him all tonight. 

Then he finally settles inside you, and you moan; he feels incredible.

Miles bites his bottom lip, eyes screwing shut. ‘Fucking. Amazing. You feel fucking amazing.’ If only he knew how incredible he feels, foiling you up so completely…

Hesitantly, you lift yourself off his erection, slowly sinking back down just before he slips out. Your legs ache with effort, but it’s so worth it; you’ve never felt so utterly complete before, and not just physically either.

When Miles opens his eyes to look at you, you know that you really are in love with him.

After a few more cautious tries, your body feels used to the intrusion, so you begin to move faster, bouncing up and down on Miles’ lap faster. Miles grips your hips almost forcefully, grunting with effort as he thrusts up into you, meeting your own movements enthusiastically. You can’t contain your shouts of pleasure, and you distantly register that you’re grateful no one else is in this area of Briggs; there’s no denying why you’re making these sounds.

Miles begins to form words again, albeit it strained. ‘Yes… fuck, I love you. Love you so much. Want you… mine!’ Miles leans up, taking one of your nipples into his mouth.

You cry out even louder than before, a second orgasm starting to appear. ‘Miles… I love… more…’ That last word comes out as a desperate plea; you hope he noticed.

Miles’ mouth swaps nipples, as one of his thumbs stretches down to rub your clit. 

You feel like you’re losing your mind. Miles is the only thing that matters right now. You keep thrusting harder and harder and harder until your body finally shatters again, your hips somehow still thrusting of their own free will.

The feeling of you spasming around him has Miles grunting into your breasts as he finishes too, filling the condom as his own hips refuse to stop.

Finally, after a few moments of mindless thrusting, you both collapse on the bed, completely exhausted.

It takes a few moments for your mind to register what just happened. One moment, you’re shouting at Miles, calling him a hypocrite. The next, he’s kissing you, before taking you back to his room and doing unspeakable things between your legs. Tonight has been a rollercoaster night…

You’re vaguely aware of Miles slipping out of you, before going off to dispose of the condom. What does this mean for the two of you? Was it just the residual tension from the other day coming to a head? Was it the fighting spurring on some kind of action? What about the subordinate Miles told you he’s in love with? Are you… was this just a practice run? A way to get back into the swing of sex before he goes after her?

No, that’s stupid. Miles could never be so heartless. He wouldn’t just use you like that. Besides, he told you he loved you during sex a moment ago. Was that empty sentiment? Was he imagining that you were her? Was it a slip of the tongue?

By the time Miles makes it back to bed, your thoughts are swimming with possibilities. Your thoughts take an especially violent nosedive when you realise Miles is looking at you with his brow furrowed; should you have left?

Miles sighs. ‘You’ll catch your death if you don’t cover up. I know you feel hot now, but you’ll cool rapidly.’ He sits next to you in bed, at it occurs to you that the duvet isn’t covering you; you must have knocked it away when you flipped him.

Cautiously, still not knowing what you mean to him, you force your aching body up to sit besides Miles, risking leaning into his still-warm body. 

Miles wraps an arm around your waist, his other arm dragging the duvet up to cover you both. The silence between you is deafening, but you’re scared to break it; you don’t know what will happen when you do.

Finally, Miles says something. ‘I know I’m not the guy you have your heart set on, but I promise you, I can be good to you. I’ve been in love with you for a while now, but I was too much of a coward to say anything. If you give me a chance, I think that some day, you might be able to love me too. If you don’t, then at least I had you for a moment, and that’ll have to be enough.’ A stray tear falls from your eye; it’s you. You’re the woman Miles is in love with. Of course, how could you think any differently? The only other woman he spends considerable time with is Armstrong, and it sounds like he’s not her type at all.

When he notices the tear, Miles moves his thumb up to brush it away, frowning. ‘I’m so sorry. I know this isn’t an easy thing to hear. I can give you some space, let you think about it. I don’t need an answer right no-‘ You cut him off with a kiss, trying to pour all your feelings into it.

When you realise Miles is holding back, you smile at him. ‘You’re a dumbass, you know? So let me clue you in; when I told you I was in love, I meant with you. I was just as scared to tell you, even more so maybe, because you’re my only real friend here. I didn’t want to risk what we have on a whim. I was hoping you’d catch on, but all I’ve done is confuse you, so let me make it clear; I love you, Miles. As if I could love anyone else with you in my life.’ This time, it’s Miles that brings you in for a kiss, and you don’t hold back, leaning into him completely.

Eventually, Miles coaxes you both into lying down, his arms wrapping around you so he can cradle you into his chest. ‘You can’t imagine the relief I’m feeling right now. I was scared I’d royally fucked the one friendship that’s been my biggest source of joy lately.’ It makes you happy, knowing that you’re his source of joy…

Still, you can’t help but giggle. ‘Technically, you did. I don’t think I could go back to being just friends now…’ maybe you’ll have to. This is breaking so many rules, after all…

Miles holds you just a little tighter. ‘Not a chance. We’ll have to be discrete, but we’ll make this work. Besides, everyone here thinks the whole thing about you trying to seduce me is a bullshit rumour, and Armstrong actively encouraged me to go for it. As long as Buc knows when to keep his mouth shut, keeping this a secret won’t be difficult.’ You’re glad he’s thought this all through; you’ve spent the last little while thinking exclusively with your genitals.

You yawn loudly, and Miles kisses the top of your head. ‘Why don’t you get some sleep? We can pick up where we left off in the morning.’ You’re not sure you could survive another round against Miles and his fingers… you’re curious to know where he learned such a talent!

Snuggling in close, you close your eyes, a few finally words leaving your mouth. ‘Sorry I got angry at you earlier. I was just upset that you didn’t love me back.’ It sounds horrible and petulant when you put it like that; you hope Miles doesn’t think less of you for that.

If he does, he doesn’t let on; instead, Miles kisses your head again, lingering slightly longer this time. ‘I’ll let you off, but only because I do love you back.’ You don’t think you’ll ever get tired of hearing him say that…

It doesn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last chapter for a while; I’ve finally caught up!
> 
> I’m planning to continue this story right up past the end of the series, so of course there will be plenty more chapters in the future (As well as an appearance from a certain well-hated character).
> 
> For now, thank you for reading ^.^


	14. Lazy Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, 
> 
> I got some things I want to say, but I’m going to put them in at the end, so for now, enjoy .^.^.

At this point, you’re beginning to feel quite at home in Miles’ bed.

Being stark naked in his bed is a new one of course, but there’s no way you’re about to complain.

You’re not sure you’ve ever gone to sleep quite as sated as you did last night. If you’d only known how capable Miles is in bed, you’d have acted far more brazen in an attempt to get here sooner. The women who left him for bullshit reasons don’t know how badly they fucked up; in this case though, their loss is most definitely your gain.

Regrettably, you notice the room slowly getting brighter, and realise your night of passion is officially over. Now it’s time to go back to reality, back to being solider and officer again.

You’re about to sit up, but a warm arm wraps itself around you, forcing you against Miles’ bare chest. You’re tempted to try and wriggle out of it, but you feel just too comfy…

Miles’ voice is thick with sleep, and hot against your ear. ‘Mm, good morning, beautiful.’ He kisses the shell of your ear, before nibbling your lobe gently.

You yawn, settling back against him. ‘Yeah, I think waking up with a handsome man qualifies this as a good morning.’ 

Miles chuckles, the sound warming your heart. ‘Well then, looks like you’re going to have a lot of good mornings from now on. Some very, very good mornings.’ His mouth lazily kisses your neck, his arm sliding now to grab your thigh.

His touch makes you moan, and you rub yourself against him instinctively. ‘Mm, as much as I’d love to stay in bed with you, we have a lot of work to do. Fucking paperwork…’ fuck, you’d love to spend the whole day in bed with him. Just a shame you actually do have to work…

Chuckling once again, Miles lets go, stretching his arm out before flopping onto his back. ‘Fuck. If only one of us was an officer or something. Then we could get away with screwing off for an extra hour or so.’ You fight the urge to playful slap his shoulder; has he always been this cheeky?

You snuggle into his side, draping an arm across his chest. ‘What would you do with me if we did spend an extra hour in bed?’ You can’t resist trailing your fingers across his bare flesh, various ideas coming to mind.

Miles strokes your hair once, before his hand settles on your cheek, and you look up at him. ‘I’d settle for another hour of this. Maybe a few lazy kisses. Might try to cop a feel when I think you’re distracted.’ As if he has to wait until you’re distracted to do that…

You smile. ‘That all? Not planning on keeping me here for round two then?’ 

To your surprise, Miles blushes slightly. ‘That wasn’t… I’m not trying to keep you here for sex. As amazing as the sex was, that’s not what made last night so incredible. For a moment, I thought I’d lost the woman I love to my own cowardice. I was ready to spend my life trying my hardest to be happy for you. I don’t know what compelled me to kiss you like that, but thank fuck that I did. But…’ Miles suddenly looks downtrodden. ‘Look, I know it was sudden, and I’m sorry for pouncing on you like that. I didn’t mean to railroad you into a relationship like this. If you want to change your mind and call it quits, I’ll deal with it. At least I got a chance to tell you how I feel, and a night worth remembering. Hell of a lot better than pining after you like a lost puppy.’ He’s… he’s still offering you an out? Is he clueless?

With a sigh, you move to straddle his lap, before grabbing his hands and weakly lining them above his head. ‘You said all that last night, and my answer hasn’t changed. You’re not the only one guilty of pining. I want this. I want you. I’m not about to back down now that I’ve finally got what I want. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me now, so you’re going to have to get used to nights of wild passion. Oh, and as long as we’re alone, you’re more than welcome to kiss me like that anytime. I rather like your super soft lips…’ You move your head down to take Miles’ bottom lip between your teeth, giving it a quick tug.

When you pull away, Miles is grinning like a cat with a saucer of milk. ‘Damn. I spend years getting my heart stepped on, thinking I’d be stuck single. Then an absolute goddess of a woman comes into my life, and somehow she’s the one that actually loves me back? I don’t know how I pulled this off, but I’m glad I finally drew a winning hand. Though I should warn you now that you need to work on your grip. There’s no way you’re going to keep me pinned like this for long. Want me to teach you sometime?’ A chance to get all hot and sweaty practicing close-combat moves with Miles? Does life get any better than that?

You smirk down at him. ‘I’d appreciate that, but I’m not exactly using my full strength right now. Besides, won’t that work to your detriment? If I know how to pin you, what’s stopping me from being all dominant in bed?’ Not that you’d do it with without his consent, but the question is still there.

Miles’ answer grin is pure sin. ‘Oh no, my sexy girlfriend wants to call the shots in bed. What a terrible fate!’ 

Your smirk becomes even more smug. ‘Yeah, that’s right. I’m in charge now. What you gonna do about it?’ You can’t help but chew your lip, hoping he takes that as a challenge.

Within seconds, Miles has pushed you back and onto the bed, his body covering you just as quickly before he secures your wrists over your head with his hands. While his grip isn’t painful, it’s hard enough to show that he means business.

Miles’ knees force your legs to wrap around his waist to accommodate him, and you can feel his erection pressing against your clit. ‘I didn’t get top marks in combat training for nothing. I studied hard so that one day, I could hold my own against a feisty woman like you. Now that I have you pinned, I think it’s time I took full advantage. Your body hasn’t been kissed nearly enough, and I think that’s just criminal. So I think I’m going to fix that, if it’s alright with the prisoner?’ All this coming from the man who was adamant he didn’t want a round two? A certain part of his anatomy tells a very different story…

You grind against him again, wriggling your hips enticingly. ‘You know, prisoners don’t usually get to pick and choose punishments.’ 

Miles rubs himself against you, but his face looks a little concerned. ‘I’m not just going to take what I want without asking. That’s not how relationships work. Not healthy ones at least…’ It makes your heart flutter, knowing Miles is a decent human being. Still, he’s more than welcome to be a little more assertive; it’s not like he’d not back off if you told him to. 

Out of interest, you try to free your wrists, but Miles keeps his grip nice and firm; you’d be lying if you said you don’t like seeing his firm side. ‘I appreciate that. You know how I much I hate the idea of a man trying to force me into things. But you know, it’s kinda hot when you take charge. Makes me want to let you do things. Anything you want, in fact, on the condition you stop when I tell you.’ 

Miles likes the sound of that, if his guttural moan is any indicator. ‘Oh yeah? What if I wanted to stick it in your ass?’ Does he? You weren’t expecting that!

You decide to call his bluff. ‘At least lube me up first.’ You wink at him, and for a moment there’s silence…

… before Miles breaks out in a fit of violent laugher!

A few tears of joy land on your face as Miles tries to calm down. ‘God, I love you. Why did we have to wait this long?’ 

You raise an eyebrow at him. ‘You think six months is too long? When did you want first wanna jump my bones?’ If he’s anything like you, he’d have happily done it then and there in the mess hall…

Miles hums thoughtfully. ‘Well, if I’m honest… I’d have probably liked to bent you over a table after your first fight with Williams, but there was definitely a part of me that would have done it with you in the mess.’ Ah, lust at first sight. Just like you.

Shifting you hips up against him, you chew on your lip. ‘I would have been cool with that. I would even have been cool with you throwing me over your lap and smacking my ass, showing your new subordinate what Briggs discipline looks like.’ Miles has such strong hands, he’d have left marks that lasted weeks…

Miles swallows hard, his eyes widening. ‘What the hell did I unleash last night? I never expected to hear you talk like that.’ Oh dear, have you done something wrong?

Uncertain, you try to backtrack. ‘If you don’t like it, I can always tone it down…’ 

Miles shakes his head vehemently. ‘Don’t you fucking dare. Never hide who you are on my account. I want to love all of you, even the bits you might not like. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with a little dirty talk between lovers. You might find me guilty of that too, if the mood takes me…’ He leans down to nibble at your ear, and you squirm beneath him, trying to angle yourself so he can slip inside you.

When he realises your plan, Miles pulls his hips back, making the task impossible. ‘I think you’re forgetting something. As much as I’d love to feel you without a condom, I don’t think our lives will be worth living if I get you pregnant. Better safe then sorry right now.’ You hadn’t even thought of that this morning. Good think it’s Miles’ turn to be on the ball.

Eyeing the abandoned package on the floor, you smile. ‘If I promise to stay still like a good prisoner, would you get one? I’m not sure I remember what your cock feels like, so I need a reminder urgently.’ In truth, feeling Miles pressing against you like this has sent your libido into overdrive; you’ll settle for nothing less than all of this at this point.

In a flash, Miles is off the bed, retrieving a single foil packet from the box. He slowly tears the foil away, risking a glance at you…

A loud bang comes from Miles’ office; a knock on the door? Who could it be?

You roll your eyes when you hear the culprit. ‘Miles?! Open the hell up! Why the fuck is your door locked?!’ You swear, if Buc cockblocks one more time…

Miles yells right back. ‘Because I locked it! What do you want, anyway?’

Buc sighs exaggeratedly. ‘Open the door and I’ll show you!’ 

Miles throws the half-open packet on the bed as he finds his trousers, eyeing you with what looks like regret. ‘I’ll get rid of him. Meanwhile, if you’d like to touch yourself to warm up for me, feel free; I’ll be back to make sure you’re taken care of properly.’ And he’s the one talking about unleashing things! Damn, you really should have reached this point sooner…

As Miles leaves the room to deal with Buc, you decide to go ahead with his suggestion.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Today is the day. Today is the day Miles finally punches Buc in the face.

Surely the larger man knows EXACTLY why the door is locked? Hadn’t Miles made it abundantly clear that he planned to put the moves on his sub- well, his now girlfriend? 

His girlfriend… Miles loves the way that sounds in his head, even if he can’t exactly say it out loud.

Miles feel almost giddy today. After all that waiting, he finally got the girl. He almost hopes Buc has come to force another bottle of something on him, because he feels like celebrating. He’d shout his feelings from the top of the fort if it wouldn’t earn him an instant court-martial. Yeah, life is pretty fucking fantastic today…

… would be even better if he could avoid Buc’s bullshit for a day.

Miles reluctantly opens his door, mind still focused on the fully naked woman hiding in his bedroom. She must be freezing right now; he needs to get back there soon so he can warm her right back up.

Then again, having forgotten his shirt in his haste to get rid of Buc, Miles isn’t exactly toasty.

When Buc clocks Miles’ state of undress, he smirks. ‘Good night was it?’ He’s asking for it now. Then again, with Armstrong willing to overlook his major indiscretions, Miles knows better than to push his luck by assaulting Buc; besides, he knows Buc is only ducking around.

Miles decides to call his bluff, crossing his arms and smirking right back. ‘Damn right it was. It’s not often I let myself sleep in.’ He’ll have to fight to keep from making it a habit; waking up to someone as soft and warm as his girlfriend makes the thought of leaving bed almost unbearable…

Buc’s eyes scan the corridor, making sure no one is around to listen in before he speaks. ‘Well, I think you’ve both earned it. Did you put my gift to good use, or were they too tight for you?’ Miles has no idea why Buc seems to think he has half an elephant shoved in his boxers, but he did inadvertently find the perfect size…

Miles shakes his head. ‘They fit like a dream.’ 

Buc raises an eyebrow. ‘Yeah? And how were the condoms?’ Miles rolls his eyes: he walked right into that one.

Still, that does stop the smaller man frowning too. ‘Please don’t talk about my girlfriend like that. It wasn’t… this has always been about more than just sex, Buc. I really think this might be it for me. I don’t want to risk screwing up a good thing because you can’t keep your mouth shut, so please, can we town down the innuendo in future? I know it’s just banter but…’

Buc cuts him off. ‘Nah, you’re right. Kinda loses its fun if you’re both serious about it. I’ll try to keep my remarks to a minimum. 

‘Now, about why I’m here.’ Buc hands Miles a stack of paperwork, something the senior officer hadn’t noticed before. ‘Message from the Queen. She wants this stack done too. Looks like you’re going to be at it all weekend, even with your assistant’s help. If you can get it all done by Monday, Armstrong won’t tear your bollocks off. If you can’t, then kiss goodbye to your newfound… entertainment.’ Miles gulps at the though, lazily flicking through the papers. He can’t help but smirk when he realises something;

There’s barely a few hours worth here. Hardly something worth a three-day deadline.

Miles nods. ‘Sure looks like a tough task, but anything for the Queen, right? You let her know my assistant and I will have it on her desk first thing Monday morning.’ Miles is a little concerned about how nice Armstrong is being, but he’ll take it; anything to get back to the bedroom right now.

Buc grins. ‘Thanks, Miles. Knew we could count on you. I’ll let you get back to bed; looks like you’re in need of warming up.’ He winks, and heads off past the corridor, leaving Miles alone to lock the door and ditch the paperwork on his desk.

As he heads back to the bedroom, Miles has to fight the urge to pinch himself. It’s not like life to give him something this good, but maybe he’s just long overdue.

When he opens the door, his lover is still spread out on the bed, one hand where he’d pinned it while the other is teasing her open for him, her legs a little wider than before.

Noticing he’s back, the woman on the bed smiles. ‘About time you got back. I was about to plan a jailbreak.’ Fuck. Miles isn’t sure he’ll ever be leaving bed at this rate; why would he when he has someone like this in bed with him?

Sliding his trousers off, Miles smiles wickedly. ‘I can’t have that I’m afraid. Looks like I’ll have to get my prisoner under control again.’ As Miles rejoins her on the bed, and feels her warmth an softness beneath him, he’s sure that he’s found paradise.

He just has to find a way to make it last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so here’s the things I wanted to say;
> 
> First, I want you let you all know that there’s going to be a lot a time-skipping in the next few chapters while I try to bring it back up to the timeline of the series.
> 
> Speaking of timelines, you may have noticed I’ve grouped this in with a couple of other stories. The reason for this is simple; this story is set in the same AU as the Scar/RC story Unworthy (and of course the fic set between chapters (and maybe even a few more for both characters in the future)). I just wanted to address that in case there was any confusion ^.^ 
> 
> Speaking of Scar (I’m getting really good at tangents!), would any of thee currently reading be interested in another extended Scar story, set in a totally separate AU? I mean, I think I’ll probably do it anyway, but I at least thought I’d ask on the off-chance anyone here is desperate for some Scar in their life.
> 
> Anyhow, I’m pretty sure that’s it. Thank you for your continued readings, and I hope to see you again next chapter ^.^


	15. Clearing The Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo,
> 
> Just realised I’ve been neglecting this a bit in favour of getting the Scar one off the ground… here be some apology fluff!
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

It’s been three months since that fateful night with Miles, and life around Fort Briggs has never seemed brighter.

While the weather in the North never seems to change much, you swear you’ve been warmer than ever lately, though it could be down to a number of things.

The main factor is probably that you’ve not been outside since you found Williams’ corpse. There’s been no need to, not with you either buried in paperwork or attending to various internal matters.

Another factor of course could be your new lodgings. The bed in your private room is so much more comfortable than the standard one, with even the bedding itself feeling thicker. Not to mention unlimited private access to your very own hot shower!

However, factoring in your new accommodation is pointless, considering how little time you spend in it.

The real reason for your warmth is the incredibly handsome Major you’re having an intimate sexual relationship with. Well, it’s a romantic relationship really, but you’d be a liar if you said there weren’t many nights of sex so passionate and glorious you’ve had to keep yourself from screaming the whole of the fort down.

As it turns out, Buc’s gift barely lasted a week, but it was the most amazing week of your life.

Since then, Miles has found a few excuses to ‘visit’ the nearby town, trying to stock up enough condoms to keep up with the demand for them.

When he’s not busy sending your mind off to live in another dimension, Miles spends your private moments together whispering sweet nothings into your ear. He tell you that you’re beautiful, and wonderful, and how he plans to marry you one day. It had almost been too much at first, but the more you think of it, the more you like the idea. Mrs and Major Miles… a perfect match for each other.

However, the only issue is the one thing neither of you seem to be willing to address; in order for you to be together publicly like that, one of you will have to leave the military, and neither one of you is keen on the idea.

You’re not sure if you’re ready to give up your job to marry the man you love. Sure, Miles could support you both on an officer’s salary, but you don’t want that. Not when it means that he’ll be up here in the fort while you’re in town desperately pining for him.

As for Miles leaving and you staying, that wouldn’t work either. As long as you’re serving, starting a family would be impossible, and while Miles has yet to mention any plans past marriage, you’re sure he’s the type of man that would want a family someday. 

It’s all a big headache, one that you’ll have to cross someday. You’d try talking to Miles about it, but you’re worried you’d scare him off with such talk; many people speak of marriage casually, but what you’re after are the fine details. You’ve been thinking things through, and you’re not sure how he’d feel about that.

For all that is bright in Briggs, it is that patch of cloud that worries you.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It’s a little past lunch right now, and today it’s your turn to collect.

The people in the mess think little if you leaving with two trays. It’s been your routine for so long that everyone accepts it. The most you get are sympathetic glances from various peers, all of them believing Armstrong works you and Miles like dogs everyday. Oh, but if they only knew…

The only one in the hall who does know is Buc, who gives you a knowing look as you pass his table.

On your way back to Miles, you pass another familiar face; it’s the Major General herself, no doubt on her way to get lunch. 

You do your best to salute her when she passes, to which she smirks. ‘Glad all that time with Miles hasn’t taken away your good manners.’ 

You smirk back. ‘I’m only a bad girl when I’m with him, sir.’ 

Armstrong barks out a laugh. ‘I bet you are. I’m sure Miles knows how to discipline you by now, however. You’ve been serving under him for long enough.’ Come to think of it, it’s probably been about nine months since you came here now. Nine months… it’s amazing to think of how much can change in such a small amount of time. 

When you don’t answer back, Armstrong walks away, hair flowing behind her as she marches towards the mess.

The rest of your walk back is uneventful, the only moment of tension coming when you have to find a way to open the door without spilling lunch.

Finally achieving your goal, you’re rewarded with a smile from the man sat behind the desk, who’s had the good sense to stack the paperwork on either side of the desk so you can put lunch down.

As soon as you drop the trays, Miles smiles. ‘Thanks for getting lunch, love. I think we’ve earned a break. Do you think Armstrong is giving us extra paperwork to spite us?’ You wouldn’t put it past her…

You shake your head. ‘Nah. She’s not tha- well, she is that sadistic, but I think it’s because we work so well together, she assumes we’ll work more as a result.’ In fairness, you’ve yet to miss a deadline, so maybe there is truth in that!

Miles laughs. ‘Fair. I’m surprised I work as well as I do with you. You’d have thought seeing someone naked would detract from your work ethic, but if anything, it makes me want to work harder so I can see you naked again.’ It always amazes you just how much confidence Miles has gained since that first night together. You’re wondering if that means he’s finally over his worries that you’re going to turn on him one day like all the other women in his past, but you don’t want to ask for fear that it hasn’t.

Now that you’re thinking of it, there are so many fears surrounding your relationship. How he feels, the future, the past… and all that before considering all the potential consequences that could happen if you’re caught fraternising.

Your brooding must show on your face, because Miles softens immediately. ‘You know that was a joke, right? There’s never any pressure from me for you to do anything. You tell me no, and it doesn’t happen. That’s all there is to it.’ There’s his insecurity again. Perhaps it’s not gone at all…

Would now be a good time to bring up all you’ve been thinking?

No, you shouldn’t. It’s still far too soon for that.

Still, you can’t let Miles think that you’re upset because of him. ‘It’s not that. You know I never mind it when you get me naked.’ Except the days that Mother Nature comes to visit, but you’d sooner forget about those days…

Unfortunately, you should have chosen your words more carefully. ‘So there is something. You’ve been zoning out for a while now. Is there something we need to discuss? Is it… did one of the condoms break? If that’s what it is, you know I’ll support whatever you decide completely.’ What?! How did he manage to get to that?!

You shake your head hard enough to make yourself dizzy. ‘I’m not pregnant, Miles. I’d fucking better not be, anyway!’

The relief on Miles’ face is unmissable. ‘Thank god. That wasn’t a conversation I was looking forward to. What is it then? Are you worried we’ll get caught? Because you know we have the head of the fort making sure this never leaves Briggs, right? As long as we don’t start fucking in the mess, we’re pretty safe.’ That isn’t to say that it’ll never happen, but he’s right. Besides, most people in Briggs are smart enough to keep their mouths shut when it comes to this kind of thing. You’re certain you’re not the first to break regs up here…

You eat a few mouthfuls of food before you answer, trying to steer the conversation into better territory. ‘I’m not worried about that. You know Buc would kill anyone who tried to out us, anyway. I think he’s been desperate for us to fuck since day one, so he won’t want anyone to ruin our fun.’ Thinking back, your whole relationship feels very much set up… not that you’re complaining, of course.

Miles laughs. ‘Yeah. I wouldn’t put it past Buc to start silencing people. That still doesn’t answer my question though. No matter what it is, you can tell me. I promise I’ll hear you out.’ He’s not going to stop, is he? You wish you’d managed to control your thoughts better…

You push your tray away, your appetite lost. ‘It’s not something I really want to talk about. Not yet.’ Not when you’re only three months into your perfectly happy relationship…

Miles sighs, quickly abandoning his own food. ‘If this is something that’s going to blow up in our faces a few months from now, I’d rather we got it out now and had done with it.’ It’s like you can feel Miles building up a wall around himself, already expecting the worse.

Admitting defeat, you look him straight in the eyes. ‘Where are we going with this? Is this serious, or just a whirlwind romance?’ 

Miles’ eyes grow wide. ‘Serious. You should know that. Have I not been making that clear enough? I don’t want this to be some fling, or a passing fancy. I want this to be more.’ You’re happy he feels that way; it might make the next part easier.

You take a deep breath. ‘So where is it going? What future do you see for us?’ As bad as it feels to openly say these things, it’s good to finally make peace with your fears.

Any surprise lingering in Miles’ face seems to fade, a strange melancholy taking over. ‘I knew we’d have to have this chat one day. We can’t exactly keep this up forever. Still, I thought we might have longer before the walls came caving in. I am the one who asked though, so I only have myself to blame.’ Why does he already seem so sad when nothing has been said?

You need to stay strong. It’s a difficult talk, but it needs to be done. ‘I want to hear what you’re thinking. The kind of life you see for us.’ If he’s been thinking the same things as you…

Miles takes a moment to compose himself before replying. ‘I know that if we wanted to get married, at least one of us would have to leave the military. I’m not saying that you should leave your job like a good little wife, because that’s not what I’m about. You’d probably kick me in the balls if I did, and I’d like to avoid that.

‘Really, it all depends on you. I’m happy to work around what you want. If you wanted to stay here, or in the military in general, then I could see myself leaving. I guess that depends on if we want kids though. Again, that’s on you. I’ll just be happy if we make it to marriage.’ You would feel flattered, but Miles’ answers make you feel angry. 

You cross your arms, trying to look Armstrong levels of stern. ‘I asked for what you saw. You. I don’t want you to just go through this relationship only doing things to please me. A relationship works both ways. It’s compromise. We need to do things together, or we might as well call it off.’ Honestly, you’re surprised he’s so easygoing with this; you’d had him down for a man who knows what he wants. Still, it took him long enough to come after you…

Miles looks sternly right back at you, almost certainly more intimidating that you look. ‘I don’t want to be the man that chains you to an oven and makes you shit out kids. Sure, I’d love to settle down with a wife and start a family, but I know that you’re here now because you wanted to avoid that life. If being with you means that doesn’t happen, I can live with that. We don’t have to get married for this to be serious. It’s just two names on a document. I don’t need that to know that I never want us to not be together. The ways things are now are fine by me. Maybe in a few years things will be different, but for now, I don’t see why we should worry about that. We’re happy now, so we should just keep doing what makes us happy. We can take the future in stages. If that’s what you want, of course.’ The relief of hearing all of that from Miles is liberating, but there’s something that has you confused…

‘When have I ever said that I don’t want that life?’

Miles swallows loud enough for you to hear, his eyes becoming preoccupied with the abandoned meal in front of him. ‘The night we got drunk on the whiskey from Buc. You said that all your past boyfriend expected you to be a good little housewife. You told me you hated that, and that any man who would expect that kind of things isn’t a man you’d ever consider fucking or marrying. I don’t want to treat you like that. I want you as you are, not wrangled into compliance by some stupid idea of what a woman’s role should be. I’m not here to change you; I’m here to love you.’ Ever since the first night, you’ve been wondering to yourself if you fell for Miles too fast and too hard…

… Then he says things like that, and you remember there’s a reason you love him so fiercely.

You shake your head, fighting back tears. ‘I know you’re not that man, Miles. I wouldn’t love you back if you were. 

‘I don’t remember saying any of that, but I guess it’s true. My family always had a very clear list of things that I had to be in order to fit in. Be a placid woman, find a rich man, have a few posh brats, and spend your life without an original idea in your head. That’s no life, at least not for me. Eloping with an Ishvalan solider, a man that I actually love, is about as far from that life as I can imagine. 

‘I’m not saying that we should get married right now. I’m not saying we shouldn’t ever marry. What I am saying is that when the time is right, I’m not opposed to leaving here to build that life with you. Just not yet. I’m sure it’ll be someday, but not right now.’ You hope that answer satisfies him, or else you’re not sure what you’ll do next.

To your great relief, Miles’ lips quirk up into an easy smile. ‘I think I have an answer for you then. About where I see this going? One day, I see us in a home of our own, happily married, with a couple of kids to keep us busy. For now though, all I see is you and me and trying not to get busted for breaking regs. Everything else will sort itself out in time. Although, while we’re on this subject…’ Miles sighs, his smile fading. ‘You should know that the chances of our kids looking like me are high. If that’s something that bothers you, then they aren’t an important part of that fantasy. Just an idea.’ Look like him? Of course they’ll look like him, he’d be he fa-

Oh.

You have to fight the urge to chuckle. ‘It had crossed my mind that my kids might look like their father. I imagine you’d have a lot to say if they looked like the milkman!’ You know that’s not what he means; you’re just curious to see if he’ll see the funny side of things.

Miles’ expression turns more grave; so much for that. ‘They’d look Ishvalan. Every time you take them out, it’ll be obvious that you’re married to an Ishvalan, or that you’ve made love to one at the very least. There’s still a lot of stigma about that, so I can understand if…’ you’ve had enough of this.

Standing, you make your way over to Miles, straddling his lap before placing a finger over his lips.

Leaning down so your lips brush against his ear, you practically purr for him when you speak. ‘I want people to see. I want people to know exactly what I’ve been up to, and who I’ve been up to it with. I’m not ashamed of who I’ve fallen for, and you shouldn’t be either. I don’t see you as an Ishvalan, Miles; I see you as a man. As my man. Fuck anyone that thinks less of me for choosing my heart. 

‘Also, why am I the only one you ever speak to like this? You don’t ask Buc if he’s ashamed to have an Ishvalan friend. If it’s because you’re worried I’m leaving, then you can stop it. I don’t want to hear anymore doubts about race, okay? The next time you bring up your race as an issue, I’m going to smack your ass raw. You’re always telling me that I’m feisty, and if there’s one thing a woman like me likes, it’s a confident man. Are you a confident man, Major Miles?’ You can feel the tent rising in his trousers, and you can’t help but rub against him, delicious memories of the cave so much more potent now you have full carnal knowledge of the man beneath you.

Miles makes a noice halfway between a groan and a sigh. ‘I’m confident we’re not going to get much work done this afternoon. I see your point though. I guess I’m just desperate not to fuck things up. I’m willing to work on that, if you’re willing to get off me so I can calm down before someone walks in.’ He’s got a point; there would be no explaining this if someone walked in.

Reluctantly, you hop off his lap, returning to your own chair as Miles tries to make his erection less noticeable.

When he’s satisfied it’s under control, Miles seems to relax. ‘So, you feeling better for getting that off your chest?’ It’s amazing, but you can’t resist one last tease… 

You inhale and exhale deep, trying your best to look worried. ‘Yeah, it really helped. I just hope that broken condom I found doesn’t come back to bite us in the ass.’ 

Miles, who had decided to take a sip of drink, instantly spits it out. ‘You… you found what?!’ You swear he’s gone several shades paler…

You try to stay looking serious, but it only lasts a few seconds before you burst out laughing. ‘Got ya!’ His face… you’d hate to find out what would actually happen if you weren’t kidding!

After a few moments of calming down, Miles laughs along, the sound of laughter filling the office.

For all that the future is unknown, one think is clear; there’s no cloud big enough to block out the light of your love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m trying to work out a bit of a timeline now so that I can work this into the series properly. I got some plans for that, so stay tuned ;)
> 
> Anyhow, thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time ^.^

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I’m still sorry. Hope you can forgive me in time.
> 
> Next chapter will be up in about a minute. Thank you for reading


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